Sparks Will Fly
by heidipoo
Summary: H2O Delirious finally decides he's ready to meet VanossGaming and the rest of the crew in person. However, what he isn't ready for are all the different ways he falls in love with Vanoss. Unrequited love is always fun, but how will Delirious act when he finds out that Vanoss actually feels the same?
1. Yes, I'm Fucking Sure

**Author's Note: Hello everybody, welcome to my new otp, haha. Anyway, I hope y'all like this lil fanfic idea of mine. I'm really new to this fandom, but I've been lurking so hopefully I've got the jist of it. Please let me know if something is wrong, okay? Because I would love to know. The first chapter usually takes forever, but it's all plot development/fluff I swear. This story should be 20-25 chapters, maybe even longer but we'll see. Requests are loved, just message me and I'll get to it. Happy reading!**

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"So, I think I'm ready to come meet you guys."

H2O Delirious spoke hesitantly into his headset. It was Thursday afternoon, a normal day, and he hadn't known what had gotten into him, he just had that particular feeling; that gut feeling when you just really know that something is right. It had been taunting him for some time now, and he decided to take action about it. They were playing grand theft auto, blowing stuff up, killing each other, just having a good time, and those dreaded words finally left his mouth, along with his signature laugh after it. But it wasn't a joke, he was serious this time.

It wasn't that often when the whole crew was in a gaming session together, but they were all here: Vanoss, Wildcat, Nogla, Mini, Moo, Marcel, Lui, Droid, and even Terroriser. But Delirious had requested that they all play together today, for this very specific reason. He wanted to meet them all, the people he'd been playing with and making friendships with throughout all these years. Albeit, he was closer to some than others, but that didn't matter, he wanted to make sure he met them all. He needed to finally see them in person. And out of all of those people in the game right now, they were all silent at the moment; speechless even.

"You do realize what you just said, right?" Mini was the first one to speak, breaking the silence.

"Uh, yeah." Delirious replied, a small smile on his face.

"Are you sure?" Nogla inquired. "Like really fucking sure, because this is huge."

He laughed that goofy laugh, "Yes, I'm fucking sure."

"Holy shit, dude." Wildcat finally spoke. "We're finally gonna get to see your face! Fuck yeah!"

And then came the person that Delirious was waiting for to speak. Vanoss chuckled, "Delirious, you don't have to do this if you don't want to." He finally spoke into his mic, partially still in shock. Hell, he didn't think he'd ever get to meet his best friend. Or at least he thought that it would come in the far future. He didn't expect it to happen right away. "Things are fine the way it is, you don't have to feel pressured to meet us, you know that, right?" He continued to speak as they played their game of grand theft auto.

"Damn, Vanoss, if you don't want to see me all you had to do was say so." Delirious joked, followed by some laughter from the others. "No, but seriously, I've been thinking about this for a while." And that was the truth. At night, Delirious would lay in bed, and picture what it would be like to finally meet his friends, to finally go and hang out with him, to finally have them know what he looks like. It was a feeling that wouldn't leave him, so he knew he had to do something about it. "And I talked to Luke about it too." He added.

After all, it was Cartoonz who had suggested it to him in the first place. Luke was so tired of hearing Delirous complain about these things, so he told him to just do it already; go meet them. Delirious had thought about it ever since. The thought wouldn't leave his mind, so he had to do something about it. And now, he was finally going to take action about this, he was finally going to meet his friends, whether they wanted to or not. They were finally going to get to see him, the real him, the real Delirious.

"Well hot damn." Moo commented.

"Yeah." Delirious sighed, "If you guys are okay with it, I'd like to try and set something up."

Marcel scoffed, "Of course we're okay with it! Do you know how long I've waited to finally see you?"

"I can't wait!" Lui exclaimed in his squeaker voice.

If Delirious was being honest with himself at the moment, he felt shocked. He didn't know he would receive this much positive feedback from his friends. Hell, what did he expect though? They were his friends, of course they were going to want to see him, meet him, talk to him in real life. But now, it all seemed too unreal, like a dream. His heart thumped fast at the thought of that, the thought of them, all of them, together. He was excited and nervous and anxious all in one moment, but he was happy, happy that he was finally doing this.

"Um, so once I get everything set up, I'll text you guys... We should be able to meet up in a week or two." Delirous said mindlessly as he pressed buttons on the controller, getting into a car with Terroriser. They weren't really doing anything specific on grand theft auto today, just playing together, getting funny clips if there were any.

"Sounds good." Nogla replied.

"This is gonna be epic." Moo added.

Delirious smiled to himself, genuinely happy at the moment. This was it, the moment he had been dreading for years was finally set up and initiated. It was a plan put into action, and he was finally going to do it. Jonathan had always been a shy guy when it came to meeting new people, insecure about his appearance, and just had general anxiety issues like agoraphobia. That was why he never showed his face on youtube, never went to any conventions, and never wanted to meet his friends, until now. Maybe this was a sign he was improving on his issues. And he just hoped his friends would understand his reasons for keeping his identity a secret for so long.

Later that day was the crew was done filming, Luke had called Jonathan once they were done playing games for the day. "So, how'd it go? Did you do it?" He questioned, giddyness in his voice, and Delirious just rolled his eyes as he opened up his fridge to find something to cook for dinner; his stomach growled, calling for food. Luke was just as excited as Delirious for them all to meet. Over the years, he had watched Jonathan go from an awkward person playing video games, to a social butterfly who never shut the fuck up. He liked to think he was responsible for that; he was like a proud mom.

"Yes, I did it." He answered, "I'm gonna meet them."

"What did Evan say?" Cartoonz asked, causing Jonathan's face to flush a slight red color. "Was he excited?" He pestered on and on. Ever since Delirious had told Luke about his small crush on Vanoss, he regretted it because Luke took advantage in always asking about it every chance he got. And it's not like he was head over heels in love with the guy, it was just a crush, a simple and small crush. Hell, he didn't even know if Evan was into being with another guy. "Did he fanboy?" Luke asked again.

Delirious sighed as he remembered Vanoss' response, "I think he tried to talk me out of it." He said, frowning.

"What? Really?" Luke asked. "Maybe he's just worried you'll get overwhelmed?"

"Maybe." Jonathan shrugged. "I'm gonna text him after dinner though, see what's up..."

"Alright, well, call me tomorrow and let me know what you have set up."

"I will." Delirious replied before hanging up his phone. He then turned his attention back to the fridge, stomach growling again. He made a note to go to the store soon because he didn't have much left to eat in there. There was some leftover pizza, so he decided that would be good enough until morning. Grabbing a slice, he headed to his small kitchen table and sat there in his thoughts. He wondered why Evan acted the way he did when he made the plans. Maybe he really was just being a good friend? Hell, maybe Jonathan was just overthinking things like always; it had been a bad habit of his for some time now. That was probably it, at least, he hoped.

It would be so cool when the guys got here. They'd stay at Jonathan's house of course, because he had plenty of room, and they'd go out and eat dinner, and play at arcades and what not. He was so excited for this to happen, despite all of his nerves and that uneasy feeling deep in the pit of his stomach. Suddenly, his phone buzzed, pulling him out of his never ending thoughts. A smile came to his lips when he saw Evan's name at the top of the screen, indicating a text. _Are you as pretty as I think you are?_

A grin pulled at the corners of Jonathan's mouth. This bitch always knew how to make him smile. So maybe Vanoss was excited for them to meet, at least, that's what Delirous had uncovered from the text. And that thought right there made his heart skip a few beats. Evan knew just what to do to make Jonathan feel something, and whatever that something was, he just couldn't get enough of it. That was why Evan was his best friend, and the two were pretty much inseperable. They were meeting for the first time, and that was a pretty big fucking deal.

Jonathan gave a laugh before texting back: _Guess you'll have to wait and see._

 _Give me a hint._

 _Brown hair, blue eyes. And the rest you'll just have to see for yourself._

Vanoss laughed as he read over Delirious' texts, before texting back: _You sound so hot already._

 _I know_ , Jonathan replied.

They did this a lot, banter, going back and forth with each other like this, and they could do it for hours and hours. It looked like flirting to most, but Evan knew better. He knew that they were just messing around. Delirious was the only person that he seemed to text anymore these days. Vanoss genuinely cared for that man, there was a reason why Jonathan was his best friend. And now, he was finally going to get to meet him. The man behind the mic for all these years. It was a completely overwhelming feeling, and it made Vanoss nervous.

And that mere thought, made Evan's heartbeat speed up, he got red in the face, and butterflies attacked his already weak stomach. That was just the thought of Delirious... He couldn't even imagine what was going to happen when he actually saw the bitch for the first time. The crushing thing was ridiculous, and it had gotten out of hand. Vanoss hated it, he hated having romantic feelings towards one of his friends, especially if you had no idea if your friend felt the same. There was always that lingering and wondering feeling of what if...

Delirious then text back again, pulling Vanoss out of his thoughts. The text read: _You should go to sleep, it's late. I'll call you bright and early with the info._

Evan smiled and typed a reply: _Alright, I'll talk to you tomorrow. Night J._

 _Night Evan._

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 **Author's Note: To be continued...?**


	2. A Week From Today

When Jonathan woke up the next day, it was already nearing midmorning by the time he groggily rolled out of bed. The first thing that came to his mind was that yesterday was not a dream; it had all happened, for real, and now there was no turning back. This was going to fucking happen, and it still seemed unbelievable. He had to start making preparations for his friends to come and stay with him, and he had to do it fast. He didn't want this little meet up to delay at all. He got out of bed, and headed to the bathroom to shower, ready to start his day again.

Once he was done showering, Jonathan made himself a quick breakfast, and sat down to eat. This was a routine of his, something he did everyday after he woke up. Shower and breakfast, sometimes some morning cartoons, but today, he was thinking. But he did that a lot too, sometimes to the point of thinking too much. Trying to think of a good time for the crew to come was proving to be a bit of a challenge for the man. A week from today would be good, Delirious decided, now he had to tell the guys that he had decided on a day so that they could get plane tickets and what not. His insides were still practically bubbling with excitement.

A week from today, and that meant that he would have to clean his house spick and span, have to go to the store and get plenty of food for all his hungry ass friends, he would have to make sure he had plenty of room for everyone, plenty of blankets and pillows, places for them to sleep and be comfy. Jonathan wanted his friends to be as comfortable as possible, and if this little meet up trip was successful, hopefully there would be many more to come in the future, and that thought made him smile.

During his breakfast, his phone buzzed, and he pulled it out of his pocket, checking the screen. Of course it was Evan texting him, who else would it be? Delirious entered his password, and opened the text, and smiled at its words. _Thought you were going to text me when you woke up?_ Evan was so cute nearly all the time, and he didn't even have to try most of the time. It was something of his that Delirious had grown to love, no matter what.

His fingers typed away on the keyboard, smiling as he did so. _I just woke up, I'm eating breakfast._

 _Whatcha eating?_ Evan asked.

 _Cereal._ Delirious texted back in an instant.

He waited for Vanoss' reply, taking a bite of his breakfast in the mean time. When his phone finally buzzed again, he picked it up and read the text. _You want to play some garry's mod in a little bit? Just me and you?_ He had asked, and Jonathan's heart did that little flutter thing it did whenever he talked to Evan. He absolutely loved when he and Vanoss played alone together. He felt as though Vanoss could actually be his true self, without the other guys in the crew teasing him about every little nonchalant thing. And of course, there was the fact that Delirious loved all Evan's attention when they played alone, it was great.

 _Yeah, sure._ Jonathan texted back. _I've gotta talk to you about some stuff anyway._

 _Okay,_ Vanoss replied, _I'll be on in about an hour._

In the mean time, while Jonathan finished his now soggy breakfast, he sent a group text to all the other guys in the crew: Nogla, Mini, Moo, Lui, Wildcat, Marcel, Droid, and Terroriser, asking them if a week from today was an okay time for all of them to fly down and stay with Delirious for a week or so. Of course, they didn't have to stay that long if they didn't want to, but he said a week, just in case any of them were wondering. He also texted Cartoonz, telling him all about it. This was going to be so much fun, and he couldn't hardly wait for everyone to see him.

Cartoonz was vital to him, and he had to be there for the visit just in case something were to go wrong. Jonathan didn't plan on any mishaps, but you never knew, anxiety could creep up on you out of nowhere, and he didn't want to take that risk. That's why he wanted Luke there; he knew Luke, and Luke could help him and the guys if anything did happen to go wrong. Delirious was thankful for that piece of shit, always helping him and being there for him. He didn't know what he would do without him.

Lucky for him, the guys texted back instantly, all agreeing to Jonathan's date. A week from today, seven days, and right now thate seemed like an eternity to them. The end of the week couldn't be fast enough. But Delirious knew that seven days was enough to get packed, buy plane tickets, and make some videos to be queued while everyone was away. There was no way a channel like theirs could go seven days without posting a video of some sort. He knew their fans would go absolutely insane if they had to wait that long for a video of something.

Finally, an hour passed, and Delirious got on skype to see if Evan was on yet. He was thankful when he saw the little green check mark beside his name. Immediately, he called him into a chat, turning the volume up on his PC in the process. Jonathan never used his camera when he and Vanoss skype chatted with each other, and Evan only used his sometimes. It was kind of pointless really, but still, Jonathan liked seeing Evan's face. He liked to think that Evan was the only one he used the face camera with, but still, he might have used it with the other guys as well.

"So, brown hair, blue eyes, huh?" Evan joked when he answered the call.

Delirious snickered, "You're still stuck on that shit?"

"This is a big deal man, do you realize that soon we'll be looking at each other?" Evan replied, starting up garry's mod and inviting Delirious to a game. Hell, a part of Vanoss even thought that this all still felt too much like a dream. He felt like he'd wake up any moment now, and find out that Delirious had never said anything about setting up a meet. "Did you figure everything out?" He inquired as he and Jonathan began their game of gmod. He was just as excited as Delirious, maybe even more. The fact that he was going to meet his best friend of three years for the first time ever really hadn't even registered in his head yet.

"Yeah, the guys all agreed on a week from today." Jonathan said, pushing buttons on his controller. "At my house." He added with a laugh. "It's going to be crazy with everyone all here together." He could just imagine everyone yelling at each other, swearing, possibly throwing things and getting drunk. "My neighbors are gonna be pissed." He laughed, causing Vanoss to laugh as well.

"Yeah, I wouldn't be surprised if the cops got called." Evan replied. It was quiet between the two for a moment as they took turns killing each other up with explosives and sharing obnoxious laughter. Finally, Vanoss spoke again, "Hey, can I ask you something?" He inquired, uncertainty in his voice.

"Of course." Delirious said immediately.

"Do you think it'd be okay if I came a day earlier than everyone else?" Vanoss asked. "I kind of just want to have you to myself for a little while before everyone else comes and steals you away." He said honestly, with a small chuckle. At those words, Delirious felt his face getting hot. Evan wanted them to spend time together alone, without the other guys. That had to mean something, right? Something good would come out of this, something meaningful. He just had that feeling deep down. "Jonathan?" Vanoss questioned, pulling the other man out of his thoughts. "Is that okay?"

"That'd be cool." Delirious replied once he snapped out of it.

"Are you sure?" Evan asked. "I wouldn't be invading your space or anything?"

"Nah, it's fine." Jonathan waived it off, but internally, he was losing his shit over this. The butterflies were swarming his guts at just the simple thought of he and Evan being alone together. They'd talk, and share secrets, and just be together with each other. That was enough to drive any person insane for a little while. He laughed, "We can go get pizza and watch movies." He suggested, still blushing at the thought of he and Evan cuddling on the couch and stuffing their faces together.

Vanoss smiled, "You know, that actually sounds perfect."

"Just don't tell the other guys you're coming early, they might get jealous." Delirious joked with that laugh of his, causing Evan to laugh as well. Of course, the crew knew that Vanoss and Delirious had a strong friendship, and many considered them best friends, but Delirious didn't want them to feel like he was choosing Vanoss over them. But Evan, he was just different. He was so easy to talk to, and when he and Jonathan first became friends, they talked about life, and everything they had been through. Evan knew things about Jonathan that nobody else knew, and Jonathan knew things about Evan that nobody else knew.

"Don't worry, I won't." Vanoss reassured. "Now let's blow some shit up."

"Yeah!" Delirious laughed. They played garry's mod for a few hours, making a compilation of funny deaths, something they liked to do often. And after gmod, they played grand theft auto for a while, killing innocent pedestrians, blowing up cars, until it was dinner time. "Hey man, I gotta get off here and go cook something, I'm starving." Jonathan said, pulling Evan out of his thoughts.

"Okay that's fine, text me later, alright?" He said.

"Don't I always?" Delirious asked, smiling. "I'll talk to you later, Evan." He said before hanging up his skype call, and shutting down his PC. He rubbed his eyes that were sore from gaming, and padded to the kitchen to make something easy for dinner. Jonathan decided on cheeseburgers, because they were easy, but also fast to make, and his stomach was begging for food right now. He couldn't wait any longer. And that was another thing he was excited for; he couldn't wait to cook for the guys. Cooking was one of his hidden talents, and he was actually pretty damn good at it. He wanted to wow them with his food.

When his food was done, he sat down at his table, alone once more and began eating his food. Sometimes he just sat there in silence, sometimes he watched TV, and sometimes he just scrolled mindlessly through twitter. Most times, he didn't like this, he didn't like eating alone. It felt too strange to just be alone with your thoughts all the time, and he didn't like that. Jonathan wanted someone here with him so his house didn't feel so lonely. Of course, he had his dog, but that couldn't even compare to a human presence. Hopefully, that would all soon change after he met Evan and the rest of the guys.


	3. Would You Rather?

Six days could feel like an eternity when you were waiting for something. And that's exactly how Evan felt right about now laying in his bed, alone, thinking about the events to come. It seemed like meeting Delirious was so far away, and now he had to find a way to occupy himself for six more days. Six more never ending fucking days. He was so excited to finally meet his friend after all these years, to finally meet him, and actually see him with his own eyes. He couldn't wait to just touch him, drink in his looks, and inhale his scent. He had always wondered what Jonathan smelled like for some reason.

Evan sighed, knowing that he needed to stop himself right then and there before he got carried away. He couldn't be thinking about Delirious like that, not when he was so close to finally seeing him. He thought of Jonathan like that often, but couldn't do anything about it. They were just friends, and he didn't know if Jonathan wanted to persue anything more. So for now, he was content with being friends; as long as he got to be around the older man, everything was peaches and cream. As long as he was in his life somehow, that was all that ever mattered to him.

The asian man was thankful when sleep finally overtook him; he hated having restless nights. Laying there tossing and turning, hoping to get comfortable at some time or another, when in reality he knew he'd be laying there for hours upon hours. But not tonight; tonight, Evan turned right over on his side, and drifted off. His mind filled of images of what he envisioned Delirious to look like; or what they would do while they were together. They would have a whole day to themselves before the rest of the guys got there, and Evan was going to make sure that that day was the best day of his life. Or at least one of them.

Day one wasn't that bad when the next day rolled around, because it was still early in the week. It was like a normal regular day for everyone, including Delirious. The guys got on their gaming systems, and played lots of grand theft auto and garry's mod together, to get lots and lots of footage for upcoming videos. They definitely needed the clips, so they saved everything they could get their hands on. The guys also expressed their excitement about coming to Jonathan's house in just a few more days.

"So, should we bring anything specific?" Nogla inquired.

"Nah, I'm gonna go shopping and stuff, don't worry about it, hopefully I'll have everything." Delirious answered. "Do you guys need anything specific?" He then asked, changing the subject. He wanted to please his friends, that was for sure, but he also didn't want to overdo it. This would be the first time he'd have that many people over at his house all at once. "I want you to be comfortable when you stay here." He continued.

"Strippers." Wildcat immediately answered, earning a laugh from the guys.

Delirious chuckled, "I'll see what I can do." He said. "But you guys can pack light."

"Good." Lui replied.

"Yeah, I hate having to pack a buncha shit when I go places." Moo added in. They talked about it, made plans, and everyone just couldn't wait to finally meet Jonathan. They were all bubbling with some excitement. When nightfall finally came, they got off their games, and went back to what was considered their daily lives. Dinner, sleep, editing, whatever it was that the boys did once they finished.

Vanoss stayed up into the wee hours of the morning editing the clips of the games so he could have videos to upload while he was away from home. While he was doing that, he was also texting Jonathan. But that was nothing out of the norm, they did that a lot. It was considered a part of their routine. He couldn't go a full day without his dosage of Jonathan. There was just something about that man that gave Evan life, and he didn't want to ever let that go. And Delirious, well he was just excited like everyone else.

Day two came, and Jonathan and Evan decided to play by themselves for a little while. But Jonathan didn't mind, he liked when it was just him and Evan. He was always into the game more, always glad he could make Evan laugh pretty much whenever. It was one of his favorite things to do. Currently, the two were engaged in an intense game of would you rather while simultaneously playing grand theft auto. "Okay, okay, I got one." Evan began, pulling Jonathan out of his thoughts for the umpteenth time that evening. "Would you rather be surrounded by spiders, or centipedes?" He inquired with a small laugh, as they continued to blow stuff up on grand theft auto.

"Nope." Delirious answered immediately.

Vanoss laughed, "No? What do you mean no? That's not how the game works."

"Come on man, you know I hate bugs." Jonathan laughed.

"You have to pick one," Evan teased. "It's the rules."

"Fuck the rules." Delirious laughed as he killed a pedestrian on his video game. "Let me ask you one then, it's not so easy." He continued to speak while Evan laughed in the background.

"Do your worst."

"Would you rather be stuck on an island with me, or with Wildcat?" Jonathan asked with a small chuckle. But at that question, he could feel his face heating up from embarrassment, the flush ran from his cheeks, all the way down to his neck, and his palms began to sweat slightly. Why did he have to ask that? That question was totally uncalled for. But it was too late, he couldn't take it back now... A small part of him though, wished he could. He didn't want to make Evan choose between two of his friends. Delirious had to sit there and remind himself that it was just a game, or he'd throw himself into an anxiety attack.

"Oh, dude, that's so easy." Vanoss replied after a split second. "I pick you."

At that answer, a smile pulled at the corner of Delirious' lips, and his heartbeat sped up if only slightly. "Why?" He asked as he continued to press buttons on his controller, playing the video game. He couldn't handle himself when he was alone with Evan. All he did was turn into a hot blushing mess, embarrassed and making a fool of himself. But Jonathan just assumed that's what happened when you liked or really cared about somebody, and right now, that was a terribly good thing.

"Because you're my best friend, that's why." Evan replied quickly.

"Yeah, well," He searched his mind for some witty comeback, but found none. This is what Evan Fong did to him. He wasn't himself, ever, when he was around this wonderful human being. How in the world would they even function and interract with each other when they finally meet? "You're my best friend too, Evan." That was all that came to Jonathan's mind at the moment. He then laughed, "But don't tell Cartoonz that, he'll kick my ass." He said through his bursts of laughter.

Evan chuckled as well, "Your secret is safe with me, Jonathan."

When day three finally rolled around, Delirious figured it was probably best to get to the grocery store and stock up on some much needed food. After all if he was going to have over five grown ass men in his house, he needed to be prepared. So that meant he needed to get tons and tons of food. He sent the guys a quick group text from his phone and asked them what they liked to eat. He just hoped he'd be able to get everything that they wanted, and he also hoped that they weren't very picky either. It wasn't even seconds later when his phone was buzzing with different responses.

 _Macaroni._

 _Cheesy potatoes._

 _Poop._

 _Ramen noodles._

 _Your mom._

God, his friends were such assholes, but the your mom response sure did get a laugh out of Delirious. But the crew was useless when it came to this kind of stuff, so he just decided to say fuck it, and wing it. He just bought a bunch of miscellaneous groceries at the store, but he did manage to buy chocolate chip cookies, which he knew were Evan's favorite. And he also picked up a few extra pillows and blankets for all his asshole friends. At least they would be comfortable. By the time the day came to a close, Jonathan was exhausted from all that shopping, so he didn't have much trouble falling asleep.

Day four was when things began to get a little bit more difficult. Jonathan's house was a complete mess. It's not that he wasn't a messy person, it was the simple fact that he was behind on his housework, and he only cleaned when he needed to. He didn't want his friends to have to stay in a messy house, so he figured he'd better get to cleaning. He called Cartoonz for some extra help, "Hey man, can you come over?" He asked, hoping that Luke would say yes. God, it would suck if he had to clean everything by himself, and he knew it would take forever.

"For what?" Luke retorted.

"I need your help." Jonathan replied. "Evan's gonna be here in two days and my house is a fucking mess." He sounded stressed if he was being honest with himself.

"So you want me to be your maid?" Cartoonz scoffed, "You got some nerve."

"Please?" Delirious begged, "Please Cartoonz, please." He continued to beg, his voice starting to become a whine.

"Fine." Luke gave in. "But you owe me." It was less than twenty minutes later when Cartoonz had finally made his way to Delirious' house, and the two were busy cleaning up the house. They swept and mopped the floors, made the beds, and made sure everything smelled clean. Jonathan even gave his dog a bath and made sure its bed was clean as well. When the house was spick, span, and spotless, Delirious was able to breathe a sigh of relief. "That should be everything, asshole." Cartoonz retorted playfully.

"Thank you so much." Jonathan replied, gratefully.

"So when were you going to tell me Evan's coming early?" He inquired, opening the fridge and pulling out something to drink.

"He's not." Jonathan lied.

"Bullshit. You said on the phone he'd be here in two days. That's a day earlier than everyone else." Luke replied, a smirk pulling on his lips. He was sharp, and Jonathan was going to get nothing past him. Luke didn't care Evan was coming early; he just knew about the crush and liked to tease Delirious relentlessly about it. He enjoyed seeing his friend all flustered and what not over the damn guy. "I don't care that he is, I just want to know why." He added, turning to look at Jonathan.

The older man merely shrugged, "Because he wanted to, hell if I know. He asked, so I figured why not?"

"You gonna make a move?" Luke teased.

"Goddamn it Luke, get the hell out of here." Delirious laughed, pushing his friend away.

"I'll see you in a few days, alright? Let me know if you need anything else." He said, before leaving. When nightfall finally came, Delirious was exhausted once more. He felt kind of bad, not being able to get online and play with his friends, but the house needed to be cleaned, and he was glad that he finally got it all taken care of. So he showered, changed into some jammies, and crawled into bed, snuggling underneath the covers. He was about to drift off to sleep, when his phone began to buzz, jolting him awake.

"Hello?" Jonathan answered groggily, not bothering to look at the screen before he answered.

"Aw, you have sleepy voice." Evan swooned, causing Jonathan to become wide awake. His blue eyes opened, and he could feel the heat flooding to his face as he heard Evan's voice. "Did I wake you up?" Vanoss questioned, hoping he wasn't disturbing the older man. It was late, and Jonathan wondered why his best friend was calling him.

"Nah, I was just about to fall asleep." Jonathan answered.

"Why didn't you get on and play today?" The asian man asked, a hint of disappointment in his voice.

"I was cleaning." Delirious managed to answer through a yawn. "I'll play with you guys tomorrow." He added.

Evan smiled, "Two more days."

"I'll see you then." Jonathan said before hanging up.


	4. Be There Soon

Vanoss couldn't sleep that night after he got off the phone with Delirious. It seemed as though reality was finally settling in his bones. In just two more days, he'd be staring Jonathan right in those beautiful blue eyes of his. It was more than he could ever hope for. In less than forty eight hours, he'd be meeting his best friend after all of this time. The thought made him giddy, and because of that, he found himself becoming restless, unable to roll over in his big bed and fall asleep. So instead, he decided to edit some more things for his queued videos while he was away. And after he did that for a few hours, he decided to pack his bags since he had failed to do so, so far.

He grabbed his suitcases that he always used when he traveled places, and threw them on the bed. Evan took his time in packing his clothes, because he was hoping to make himself sleepy by doing so. After all, it was nearing four in the morning, and he still didn't feel groggy even in the slightest. Once his clothes were packed, he decided to pack another small camera for vlogging, if Delirious allowed him to do so. Once he was sure he had everything, he zipped his suitcases up, and set them aside in some corner in his bedroom. The time was going by way too slow, so, he decided to play some grand theft auto to take his mind off things.

But Evan's thoughts kept resurfacing back to Jonathan. That man would be the literal death of him one of these days; but he couldn't help it. He was just so infatuated, so enticed with him. Ever since he received that message on youtube, it was endgame. Since that moment, he and Delirious had been attached at the hip, always talking, always playing together, sending each other funny pictures or videos.

They shared personal secrets with one another, and Evan liked to think that he knew just about everything there was to know about Jonathan. Like how Jonathan's family decided to move away, leaving him all alone in North Carolina, and how Cartoonz was pretty much the only person he had left down there. Evan though, he didn't really have any secrets. He was an open book, and Delirious could tell that right away about the asian man. But that was why they liked each other so much, it was because they could read one another so easily. It was without question. They knew right away when something was wrong, and their bond with each other ran deep.

The two were sure that they could make it through anything. And Jonathan was so easy to talk to, it was hard not to just let things slip out. But nonetheless, he was always empathetic and what not, being supportive of his best friend. Hell, the only things the two didn't know about each other, was that both of them longed to be more than friends.

For Vanoss, the feelings started a little over a year ago. The friendship was already established, he and Delirious having everything in common. But there was something about them playing together by themselves, they started texting each other more, sending more pictures and videos, and their phone conversations got a little bit longer each time. That's when Evan began to feel the butterflies lingering in his tummy; the blush that crept to his cheeks every time he heard Jonathan laugh, and the heat he would feel whenever he thought about Jonathan in more than just a platonic way. He knew, right then and there, that this man, had to be his. But, it was always a game when you fell for your best friend. He didn't want to ruin the friendship and make it awkward if Delirious didn't feel the same about him.

And well, for Delirious, he had always had some type of school boy crush on Vanoss. From watching his earlier videos, even before he began playing with the man and the other guys from the crew. There had always been some kind of feeling there. Some type of infatuation; and it became even worse after they became friends with each other. Jonathan would get jealous when Evan played games with other people, or neglected him for more than a day. That's when he knew that this was more than just friendship. And then Luke noticed, and that's when the teasing began. Of course, Luke was the only person in Jonathan's life who knew he was gay. And nobody knew about Evan just yet. He figured that that little fact about him wasn't important. And they hadn't shared that fact with each other, because both of them were scared it would change things.

When morning came, Vanoss woke up, feeling like complete shit. He knew he should have gotten more sleep last night. But it was too late for regrets now, because his luggage was packed, and his plane ticket lay on his desk, taunting him endlessly. Delirious was so close, yet so far, and he was more than ready for this meet up. He snapped a quick picture of his packed suitcases, and sent it to Jonathan.

 _All packed and ready for my flight,_ he wrote with a few smiley face emojis. Once Evan sent the text, he jumped in the shower, got dressed, ate something quick for breakfast, and uploaded a video to his youtube channel. It was almost time for him to head out to the airport. That's when Delirious had finally text him back.

 _Oh shit,_ he replied, _when are you leaving?_

 _I'm about to head to the airport now,_ Evan text back, before sliding his phone into his back pocket, and picking up his luggage. He locked up his house, making sure everything was in its place, before getting in his car and driving to the airport. Honestly, it wasn't too far away, and by the time he got there, he noticed he was shaking with nerves. Evan had to take a few breaths to steady and calm himself before he got out of the car. When he finally did get out, he took a selfie with the airport in the background and sent it to Jonathan.

 _How long is your flight?_ The older man asked in reply.

Evan grabbed his phone a dialed Jonathan's number. After the first few rings, Delirious finally picked up. "Hey." He sounded nervous, and because of that, Evan was surprised. Was he just as nervous as him? Or maybe even more nervous? At that though, the younger man had to smile. Honestly, it was kind of cute if he wanted to admit that.

"My flight is a little over two and a half hours." He answered his text.

"Um, okay." Jonathan answered, "Just call me when you get to the airport and I'll come pick you up." He said, his heart practically going a mile a minute for this shit.

"Alright." Evan replied, as he carried a suitcase and a duffel bag and walked into the airport. It was quiet for a moment, neither of them really wanting to hang up the phone, until finally, Evan spoke again. "Hey Jonathan?" He inquired, this time, his voice sounding a bit shaky too. It was all so unreal though; never in a million years to he picture himself flying to fucking North Carolina to meet his best friend who he might be in love with. It was like a cheesy romantic comedy movie that was now his life.

"Yeah?"

"Are you nervous?" He asked in a genuine manner.

Delirious laughed, "Fuck yes."

"Me too." Evan replied. "I'll see you in a few hours." He added, before hanging up his phone, and sliding it back into his pocket. He walked into the airport, went through security, and finally boarded the flight. He was definitely too wound up to sleep during the next few hours, so that meant he'd have to find something else to do to occupy his mind. It felt like every nerve in his body was awake and running, because Evan was jittery. He couldn't sit still, he couldn't stop drumming his fingers on his thigh. He was just so so so perturbed, so restless, and he couldn't wait until he finally landed. Hell, he sent so many damn selfies of him on the airplane to Jonathan, the older man was probably sick of him by now.

Meanwhile, Jonathan couldn't stop looking at himself in the bathroom mirror. He had already changed outfits more than twice, finally settling on some simple jeans and a t-shirt, but he couldn't help but to study his appearance. He wasn't incredibly tall, but he had a feeling he'd be taller than Evan, and he wasn't incredibly muscular either, but that's only because he was slightly lazy. His dark brown tufts of hair stuck out messily on his head, which was how he usually wore it, and his eyes looked tired, yet excited all at the same time. His ears were pierced, as well as his left eyebrow, and he just couldn't help but to stand there and stare at himself. Delirious had never thought he was ugly; in fact, he thought he was quiet good looking with his pink lips and dimples and what not. But still, insecurity nabbed him hard, and he just wondered if Evan would like what he saw.

Jonathan had to admit, he already found Evan immensely attractive. Ever since the face reveal that he had posted, and every other video with his beautiful fucking face in it, that was the face that Jonathan often saw in his dreams at night. He was buff, and kind of short, and had a great white smile, and all of those things just made Delirious fall even harder for the man. It was pure torture and hell. And that was why Jonathan always wondered if looks were important to people. If he had fallen that hard for Vanoss' cute face, it must have been hard for Evan to not know what Delirious looked like. Now, it was everything. If he didn't like what he saw, it could make or break things.

But Delirious knew he was getting way ahead of himself. This was just a visit. He didn't want to try anything on Evan and make him uncomfortable... On the other hand though, if Evan tried something on him, he decided he might just take advantage of it. Deep down, though, Delirious felt as though Evan would never make a move on him. His best friend probably didn't even think about him in a romantic way, and that's why he didn't want to risk anything, didn't want to jinx it. He was content with the friendship, at least for now.

Suddenly, Jonathan's phone buzzed, and he saw it was a text from Cartoonz. _Have fun with Evan today,_ it read.

Delirious merely scoffed, and typed back: _Fuck off Luke._

And it wasn't long after that, when his phone began to ring, and he knew right then and there, that it was Evan. He answered it immediately, "You're here?" He inquired, his heart rate already picking up speed. The moment was real; this was actually fucking happening.

Evan laughed, "Not yet, but the flight's about to land."

"I'll be there soon, Ev." Jonathan replied, and hung up. He then gave his house a once over, making sure everything was in its place, before grabbing his keys and heading out to his car. It was warm today, and he was glad that the weather was nice. That meant that he and Evan could go out and do stuff today, if the younger man was feeling up to it. But Jonathan drove and drove, growing more apprehensive the closer he got to the airport. And when he finally did arrive and park his car, he was nearing a fucking panic attack. His breath coming out in short pants, his palms all sweaty. "Relax..." He exhaled a deep breath. "It's just Evan..." He trailed off, trying to calm himself, but that didn't help matters even in the slightest.

He got out of the car, and walked inside the airport, looking around for his best friend. And when Jonathan finally spotted that beautiful bitch, his heart nearly stopped. There he was; standing there with his luggage, looking around like a little lost puppy. Evan was even more immaculate in person, and Jonathan thought he was about to fall over and die right there. He managed to keep his cool though, and pulled out his phone to send Evan a simple text. _I'm looking right at you._


	5. So Fucking Nervous

Evan's heart palpitations were beating rapidly once he received that text from Jonathan. He was here, he was so close, and yet he didn't know who he was looking for. He slid his phone back into his pocket, and stood there aimlessly, hoping Delirious would walk up to him, approach him so they could finally end this game. He could finally put a face to the name. Palms sweaty, breath irregular, cheeks hot from nervousness, and finally, he saw a man walking up to him. Tall, brown shaggy hair, and striking blue eyes. It had to be him, it just had to be. Those were the only thoughts surfacing at the tip of Evan's head. Well, and the other thought was that if that was Jonathan, then he was incredibly good looking. Like holy shit, it was unbelievable. Vanoss had to swallow the lump in his throat, before he finally spoke, "Jonathan, is that really you?" He inquired, a crooked smile blessing his face.

Delirious merely nodded, "Yeah, it's really me Evan." He managed to get out, trying so hard to get the nervousness out of his voice.

Evan couldn't help but to give his best friend a look over. He was a few inches taller than himself, had a lean frame, dark brown hair, icy blue eyes, incredibly pink lips, and goddamn those dimples, they were more than Evan could handle. And he was surprised that Jonathan had his ears and eyebrow pierced; he didn't take the older man for liking that type of that thing. But nonetheless, he was absolutely perfect, from his head to his toes, he was beautiful. It was everything he expected and more, and now, Vanoss was glad that he finally got to see this man's beautiful face. Meanwhile, Delirious was doing the same thing; ogling Evan. In a word, he was adorable, but he'd never admit that to Evan's face, especially when the younger man tried to be all muscular and macho. But it was cute how short he was, it was cute how his dark eyes sparkled when he smiled, he was just hella cute all over, and Jonathan couldn't stand it.

"Well, can I hug you?" Evan asked, grinning, and pulling Jonathan out of his thoughts.

Delirious could feel that familiar heat pooling in his cheeks, those same butterflies swarming and attacking his stomach, he had to control his voice before he spoke because he knew it would come out in a stutter if he answered too fast, "Uh, yeah, of course." He cheekily smiled, flashing those pearly whites, and that damn smile nearly made Evan turn to complete goo. "You know you don't have to ask that kinda shit, Evan." He added, rubbing the back of his neck in an awkward manner. Evan noticed that his accent was more noticeable in person, and he found it immensely attractive. He had always loved Delirious' voice; it had helped lull him to sleep many nights when he was restless.

Evan shrugged, his broad shoulders lifting, "I just thought I'd ask, you know, since this is the first time..." He was rambling and he knew it, and he felt like an idiot, but he didn't care. He was with Jonathan, and this man made him not give a care in the world. This man made him feel free, on a whim, at peace if you will. Vanoss felt like he could be himself, he could do and say whatever the hell he wanted to, because he knew that Delirious wouldn't judge him. It was his fucking best friend for christ's sake.

Jonathan opened his nimble arms wide, "Well, what are you waitin' for?" He questioned, an eyebrow raised, "Bring it on in."

And Evan didn't have to be told twice; he met Jonathan halfway, pulling himself into the older man's grip, and they embraced right there in the middle of the airport. Surprisingly, it wasn't a new or odd feeling. It felt good, familiar, it felt like they were home; finally where they were supposed to be all along. Evan rested his head on Jonathan's shoulder, since he was the perfect height for it, and inhaled the man's strong, musky scent. The scent of pine and some kind of body wash he just couldn't quite put his finger on filled his nostrils, and it felt right. Jonathan smelled like Jonathan. "Goddamn, Jon, why didn't you tell me you were so tall?" Evan laughed his familiar laugh as he finally pulled away from the older man, his body growing cold from the lack of warmth from him.

Jonathan giggled, "I'm not that tall."

"You're a fucking _giant_!" He nearly exclaimed, flailing his hands in the air.

"To you." Jonathan smirked, making his dimples more prominent. "Why didn't you tell me you were so short?" He cracked right back.

"I'm not short." Evan shot back.

"Hey man, don't worry, it's kinda cute." Delirious joked, the heat never leaving his cheeks for a single moment. There it was, that flirting, that banter that always made his heart skip a few beats whenever it happened. He was glad he could mess around with Vanoss like that. It was just sort of that special level of friendship they were on, only them two able to understand it all. Jonathan liked the fact that their friendship was like that. "You ready to get out of here?" He then inquired, changing the subject. "I've got some stuff planned if you're up for it." He added with a shrug, grabbing one of Evan's suitcases to help him carry it.

Evan picked up his other bag, "Yeah, let's go." He then followed Delirious outside of the airport, and into the parking lot. When Jonathan finally found his car, he opened the trunk to put Evan's bags in it, and unlocked the doors so he and Evan could get in. He had to admit, it was weird having someone other than Cartoonz in the passenger seat of his car. Every time he stopped at a stoplight, or a stop sign, he couldn't help but to look over and see that magnificent human being in the seat beside him, just beaming. But it was a good sight; Evan looked like he belonged there, with Jonathan, in the passenger seat of the car, drumming his hands on his lap, or humming some random song that came on the radio.

"So what do you think of North Carolina so far?" Jonathan inquired, breaking the silence between the two men.

"It's pretty." Evan answered, looking back over at his friend.

Jonathan nodded, "The summer is the best here." He continued to drive, nearing his home now. And finally, he pulled into the driveway, gravel crunching underneath his tires, and shut the car off. "Here we are." He spoke, before getting out and opening the trunk once more to get Evan's bags. The outside of his house, was nothing too extraordinary. It was a blue house (no surprise there), white windows, a front porch with a swing, and cute little bushes planted in the front yard. It was cozy to say the least, and Evan liked it, it reminded him of his house growing up in as a kid. He then followed Jonathan up the sidewalk, onto the front porch, and stood behind the taller man and watched as he dug around in his pockets to fumble with the keys.

There was something extremely intimate about this type of setting, and Evan just couldn't quite put his finger on it. Maybe it was just the simple fact that this was the first time he and Jonathan were together like this, in person, alone, standing right beside each other, and he was about to go inside Jonathan's house. It was uncharted territory, and the nerves that he felt earlier were still bubbling underneath the surface, ready to make a comeback at any given moment. Vanoss watched as Jonathan inserted the key, and opened the front door, leading them into the living room. It was a simple set up, some couches, some chairs, his tv mounted on the wall along with his xboxes and what not.

"Holy shit, your house is spotless compared to mine." Evan said without thinking.

Delirious laughed, "You can thank Luke for that."

"Maybe I'll fly him back to Canada with me and have him clean mine." He joked, following Delirious as the man walked into the kitchen. A small table graced the middle of the floor, along with many counter tops and everything else the kitchen was supposed to have in it. The kitchen was Jonathan's favorite room in the house, it's where he felt most at home, and where he loved to do all his cooking and what not.

"This is the kitchen." He spoke, gesturing to the room.

"Obviously." Evan laughed.

Jonathan glared at the man, then smiled, "And if you follow me, I'll show you the guest room you'll be staying in." His voice was proper, trying to make a joke of everything. "Right this way sir." He lead Evan to one of the many guest rooms in his house, and sat his bags on the big bed. "And uh..." Jonathan rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly as he stood there, looking at Evan, trying to figure out what to say. "I'll, uh, leave you alone so you can get settled in."

An unsettling feeling rested in his gut, and it hit him like a ton of bricks, so he left the room quickly, not waiting for Evan to reply. He didn't know what came over him in that moment, but he couldn't control his breathing as he went into his own bedroom and shut the door, leaning against it, almost in an exhausted like manner. He knew his anxiety would get the best of him sooner or later. He had attempted to hold it in for as long as he could, but even Jonathan knew that there was only so much he could do. Just when he thought things were going great too, that feeling in the back of his mind came to play.

Delirious took deep breaths, inhaling, exhaling, slowing, just like Cartoonz had told him to whenever he found himself in a situation. Goddamn, it hadn't even been an hour around Vanoss and he was already freaking the hell out. How the hell was he going to get through a whole week with the man? The task seemed almost impossible. And what about the other guys? Would his anxiety keep him from having a good time? He surely hoped not. God, he hated overthinking to the point where he almost hated himself. So, he tried to focus on his breaths, on his fast heartbeat, and on the plans that he had made for he and Evan later that day.

Meanwhile, Evan sat on the bed in the guest room, the moment feeling so surreal. He was at Jonathan's house; he was at his best friend's house. And the man he was thinking about had left the room so quickly, it left Evan feeling a bit confused. He knew that Jonathan struggled with a few things, but he didn't know that it was this bad. Deciding to go check on the older man, he left the room, and searched for the one that belonged to Delirious. When he thought he finally found it, he knocked the door lightly. "Hey." He barely managed. "You okay?"

Jonathan opened the door a crack, unable to look Evan in the eye. "I just had to calm myself down."

"It's fine man, I get it." Evan replied with a nod.

The older man then opened the door some more, "I'm just so fucking nervous..." He added, shaking his head. It was shitty how his anxiety could come up in the most random times. And he hated it; he hated that his nerves kept him from living his life to the full potential. Plus, the crush on Vanoss wasn't helping matters either; they only made things worse if he was being honest with himself.

Evan smiled, and grabbed his friend's hand, squeezing tightly, "Well, you're doing a great job, really."

Jonathan smiled, his dimples making an appearance for the umpteenth time today, "I have a surprise for you."


	6. Hold My Hand

"Are we there yet?" Evan questioned as Jonathan drove down the long winding road.

A giggle escaped the older man's pink lips, "We don't have much farther to go, I promise." He spoke quickly, excitedly, as the breeze blew through his shaggy hair. It was a nice day today, the temperature nearing around eighty degrees, but that was normal for a summer day in North Carolina. And Delirious was glad that the weather was so fair, it only made today a billion times more special. So there he and Evan were, riding along side each other, Jonathan driving while Evan was in the passenger seat, some soft music playing in the background, and Jonathan was pretty sure that life couldn't get any better than this. It was too perfect, hell, Evan was too perfect as he sat in the passenger seat, humming along to the radio, drinking in the scenery they passed as they drove. Evan was taken aback at just how beautiful it was down here, now he knew why Jonathan spoke of it so fondly all the time.

"So," Vanoss began as he looked back over at Jonathan, "You gonna tell me where we're going?"

"It's called a surprise for a reason, Ev." Delirious retorted right back, a grin etched onto his face from just how happy he was at the moment. Despite the nerves, despite everything he felt bubbling beneath the surface, he was genuinely happy right now. Hanging out with his best friend, about to give him probably the best surprise of his life, every nerve in Jonathan's body was running on high, and he didn't want it to change. He never wanted this feeling to go away, hell, he never wanted Evan to go away. "Besides," He added, breaking the silence once more. "We haven't even been drivin' that long." Jonathan continued to speak, his words blending together like music.

"Well you of all people should know I hate surprises."

"And _I know_ you're going to love this one." Jonathan grinned.

"Yeah, and if I don't, then what?" The asian man questioned.

"Then I give you permission to kick my ass."

"Oh, feeling confident are we?" He grinned.

"Hell yeah." Delirious smirked, knowing that what he had up his sleeve was sure to make Vanoss happy. This was going to be a surprise he would absolutely adore.

"Okay, deal." Evan smiled, and turned his attention back to looking out the window as Jonathan drove. Ever so often though, he found himself taking shy glances at the other man. Just subtly, out of the corners of his dark eyes, but he couldn't help but to get lost in Jonathan. Vanoss couldn't help but to think of how happy he looked, how beautiful, and radiant. Those dimples of his more prominent than ever because he was smiling so much, and Evan just couldn't help but to love how natural this felt. It was just Jonathan. Albeit, they were nervous earlier, but all those nerves seemed to flow away in the breeze of the wind. They were just _together_ , and there was nothing was wrong with that. Evan knew he should be able to feel comfortable around his best friend, despite the romantic feelings hiding underneath his skin. It should feel like this, always. And maybe it felt natural because of the fact that there were romantic feelings there, from both men.

"Why're you starin' at me like that?" Jonathan asked, pulling Evan out of his thoughts.

Vanoss could feel the heat creeping to his cheeks from being caught, but decided to play it off, "You're just too damn pretty, I'm trying to figure out how the hell that happened." He laughed.

And this time, it was Delirious' turn to blush. Evan had called him pretty more times than he could count, but actually hearing it in person made him want to jump out of the damn car. He couldn't deal with the flirting, the banter, the inside jokes. Sometimes, he loved it, but other times, it reminded him of what could never be. It reminded him that it would never be real; all just a joke. But he didn't want to dwell on that right now, he was happy, he needed to stay happy before the anxiety started to creep back in. He didn't want Evan to have to deal with that again; hell, he shouldn't have to deal with that again. It wasn't his problem. "I'm not that damn pretty..." Jonathan trailed off, tightening his grip on the steering wheel, wanting his flushed face to go back to normal. He hated that Evan could do this to him.

"It's just... Not what I expected." Evan answered, which was true. He hadn't expected to see a man with an eyebrow piercing and dimples, ocean blue eyes that he could just drown in to be waiting for him when he got off that plane. He hadn't expected to feel like he had gotten the breath knocked out of him when he and Delirious made eye contact for the first time. He hadn't expected to absolutely adore the appearance of his best friend/secret man crush, and he damn sure hadn't expected to feel so safe and secure and vulnerable all at the same time when he was with Jonathan. It was too much to handle; too many emotions he was feeling, and so so so much euphoria all at the same time.

"What did you expect?" Jonathan inquired.

Evan shrugged, "Honestly, I'm not sure." He replied. "I expected you, your funny, and asshole-ish self." He chuckled slightly, causing Jonathan to grin.

"Hopefully I didn't disappoint." He laughed as he continued to drive. The car finally began to slow, as the two boys reached their destination after what felt like an eternity of driving. Jonathan pulled into the parking lot, trying to find a decent spot for he and Evan. And meanwhile, Evan was nearly gaping out the window, trying not to flip the fuck out at where they were at.

"Jonathan..." He trailed off, "You fucking didn't."

Delirious laughed, "Oh but I did." He nodded as he parked the car, and shut it off. The two then got out of the car and walked beside each other as they made their way to the entrance of the ice skating rink. It had been forever since Evan had been on the ice, and he was practically grinning from ear to ear. Hell, when Delirious had told him he had a surprise for him, he wasn't expecting all of this. "So," Jonathan pulled Evan out of his thoughts as they finally entered the large building, "Did I do good?" He questioned with a small smile. He'd been planning this for a while if he was being honest with himself. He knew that when he and Evan finally met up with one another, he was going to bring Evan here since he loved hockey so much. And it was so close to his home, so how could he resist?

"Good?" Evan retorted incredulously. "This is... Awesome." He said, for lack of a better word.

"No ass kicking today then." Delirious laughed.

"Yeah, but there's always tomorrow." Evan joked.

The rink was pretty close to being empty, with the exception of a few kids learning how to ice skate. And that was a very good thing, because that meant that Evan and Jonathan would be able to have their much needed privacy with each other. Jonathan knew it would be empty, a lot of times it was. People preferred to be outside in the summer, swimming and what not, not at an ice skating rink. "So, you gonna teach me how to play some hockey?" He asked, wiggling his eyebrows as the two got their skates to put on.

"Hockey?" Evan inquired, "Do you even know how to ice skate?"

"Nope." Delirious replied through laughter. "I was hopin' you'd teach me."

"I can try." Evan offered as they put their skates on, lacing them up tight.

"Holy shit it's hard as hell to walk on these things." Jonathan complained as he attempted to waddle to the ice. Meanwhile, Evan was already there, waiting for his best friend, trying to hide his laughter. "You fuckin' owe me for this!" The older man nearly yelled, glaring at Evan as he continued to waddle.

"You look so ridiculous right now..." Evan managed to get out through his laughter.

"Yeah, well, you could have helped me asshole!" Delirious laughed as he finally made it to the ice. He straightened his back so that he was standing upright, and looked down at Evan, their eyes meeting for the umpteenth time that day. "Now what?" He asked, unsure of everything now. He could feel that familiar anxiousness pooling in his belly whenever he was scared, or afraid, or nervous. Any of those particular emotions brought back the anxiety. Jonathan didn't want to be anxious though, he wanted to be carefree and relaxed and just have a good time, so he tried to push the uneasiness to the back of his already cluttered mind.

Vanoss held an arm out to Delirious, "Hold my hand."

Jonathan looked down at Evan's hand, then back up to his eyes. "Are you sure?" He asked hesitantly.

Evan nodded, "It'll help you keep your balance." He answered, and waited for the older man to grab hold of his hand. And when he finally did, a warmth took over his body. He pulled Jonathan onto the ice with him, their hands locked together in a vice grip. And Jonathan held onto Evan for dear life, the way their fingers were intertwined together made his knees feel all wobbly, and suddenly, he was in middle school again. Embarrassed and nervous and blushing, afraid to say anything because he knew his words would come out in a stutter. "You good?" Evan asked, giving Jonathan's calloused hand a squeeze as they stood on the ice together. He wanted to make sure Jon had his balance before they began skating.

"I-I think so..." The older man stammered, and then mentally scolded himself for sounding like a nervous train wreck.

Evan gave a little grin, "We'll go slow, okay? I won't let you fall." He pulled Jonathan along slowly as they glided together on the ice side by side. They went in slow circles, around the whole rink, and Jonathan could feel his palms begin to grow sweaty. He just hoped and prayed that Evan didn't notice. And he had to admit that this ice skating thing was hard. Sometimes he found himself losing balance, and Evan would have to pull and hold him up. They laughed about it, but goddamn the asian made it look way easier than it was. They picked up speed, spinning in circles, and all in all were just having a good time together. Evan had to admit that he could get used to this; being around Jonathan, watching the older man enjoy himself, listening to him laugh all the time. It made him extremely happy.

"Okay." Delirious nodded, pulling Evan out of his thoughts. "I think you can let go now."

"Are you sure?" Vanoss questioned, not wanting to let him get hurt.

Jonathan nodded again, "I'm sure. Do it." He ordered, and that was all it took for Evan to let go of his large hand, both of them sweaty and shaky, and send Delirious on his way. He missed the warmth when they separated, but it was replaced with a new one, when he saw Jonathan ice skating by himself. Sure, he was going incredibly slow, and his feet were wobbly, but he was doing it by himself, and that was enough to make Evan smile like an idiot. "Evan!" Jonathan yelled, "I'm doing it man! I'm fucking doin' it!" And as soon as those words left his mouth, he quickly lost balance and fell flat on his ass. "Never mind!" He yelled out through uncontrollable laughter.

Evan laughed and skated to catch up to him, "You alright?" He bent down to help his best friend up.

Jonathan looked up, and his breath got caught in his throat when he met Evan's eyes, "Fine now." He managed to get out.


	7. I Won't Fall Asleep

They skated for hours, both of them enjoying the daily rendezvous with each other. Evan never let go of Jonathan's hand for a single moment, despite the older man's protests. "Goddamn it Evan, I told you, I'm fine now!" Jonathan swore he wouldn't fall again, but Evan didn't want to risk it. Plus, Evan really enjoyed having an excuse to hold Delirious' hand, and so did the other man. It made him feel fuzzy inside, although he wouldn't ever admit that.

So they went, round and round, back and forth, laughing and having a good time together. "Hey Jon, watch this!" Evan even performed for Jonathan, showing the older man just how fast he could go up and down the rink, doing various tricks, causing Jonathan to whoop and holler at him. He enjoyed being on the ice, he enjoyed being around Jonathan, alone, having all the time in the world together. It was so easy to forget that in just less than twenty four hours, the rest of the guys would be here. And Delirious and Vanoss wouldn't have their privacy anymore, and Jonathan's anxiety would be back in full force, making him nervous all over again to meet the guys.

It was nearing sunset when Jonathan realized just how hungry he was, and just how tired he actually felt. His stomach growled loudly, talking to him and his legs were wobbly and felt like spaghetti as he and Evan did one more lap around the rink. He didn't want to leave this beautiful place, but his stomach was beginning to digest itself. "You hungry?" He asked Evan, looking over at the younger man. It was no surprise he didn't look tired at all, after all, he could do this for hours upon hours and still feel brand new.

As if on cue, Vanoss' stomach growled loudly, "I could eat." He answered with a small grin.

"Pizza?" Delirious offered.

"Pizza." Evan confirmed.

When they finally let go of each other's hands to change out of their skates and back into their normal shoes, it felt strange not having anything to hold onto. Secretly, Evan wanted to grab it and hold it again as they walked out of the ice skating rink together. When the two made it outside, the sky was a light orange from the sun setting on the horizon, and it looked beautiful. The air smelled of approaching rain, and Evan marveled at the nature. He really did love it down here, and he'd only been here for a day. That had to mean something, right? North Carolina was making its way to number one on his list of favorite places, and a lot of it was because Jonathan lived here.

"I know a really great place." Jonathan said as he and Evan climbed back into the car. "Luke and I eat there all the time."

Evan said nothing, and merely put his seatbelt on as Jonathan started the car. They drove and drove back into town in comfortable silence, both of them just enjoying the lull of the wind whipping through the windows of the car. And Vanoss just couldn't believe just how much fun today was, and it wasn't even over with yet. He had no idea that Delirious would be able to make him feel so happy, so alive, just so carefree and light. He had no idea that their first meeting wouldn't feel like a first meeting, but rather a reuniting of two people who had known each other for a very long time. It surprised him to no end, and the little butterflies in his stomach just wouldn't go away any time soon. "I had a lot of fun today." Evan admitted, breaking the silence between the two men.

"Really?" Jonathan inquired, a smile pulling at the corners of his plump lips. "Well, I'm glad."

"Yeah, it's kind of nice just to get away from everything for a while." He confessed, his dark eyes meeting Jonathan as the older man drove.

Delirious laughed, his shoulders shaking, "Too bad the other assholes will be here tomorrow."

"Yeah, are you going to be okay? When you meet them?" Evan inquired, just looking out for the older man. "I mean, I know you freaked out a little bit earlier, but is it going to be worse tomorrow?" He continued questioning Jonathan. After all, Vanoss didn't want the man's anxiety and what not getting in the way of having fun with his friends. He didn't want Delirious freaking out at the guys, and he didn't want the guys to pester him about every little thing. But Jonathan on the other hand, had learned to live with it. He had incorporated his anxiety and fear into his daily life, and he was used to it by now. Although that was the main reason why he hadn't planned this little meet up a lot sooner.

Jonathan shrugged, "I hope I'll be okay." He answered. "Luke will be there to help me calm down if things get too heavy." Cartoonz helped him cope with his struggles, teaching him techniques to calm himself down. Like breathing, or counting something to get your focus back. He was like a brother to Delirious, always looking out for him even in the slightest ways.

"Okay, good." Evan nodded.

When they finally made it back into town, it didn't take long for Delirious to get to the pizza place. It was a small little joint in a tiny building with not many customers. But Jonathan parked the car, and he and Evan made their way inside, ordering the biggest and messiest slice of pizza they could ever imagine. They sat in a small booth in the corner of the pizza parlor, and began eating. Both of them were immensely hungry, nearly inhaling their slice of pizza. But they talked about different things, life, video games, they made each other laugh, and it felt good. It felt like home here.

And it was dark when they finished, the long day finally coming to a rather anticlimactic close. Jonathan drove home, trying to stifle his yawns that wanted to escape. He was more tired than he would let on, but he didn't want to go to bed. He didn't want this day to end, and if he went to sleep, it'd be done and over with. When he pulled into the driveway of his home, that's when the rain began to fall. Subtle at first, and then a full downpour, thunder and lightning dancing with each other in the sky. He and Evan had to run into the house to avoid getting soak and wet.

"I have towels in the bathroom." Delirious said, shaking out his wet mess of a head. His baby blue eyes drifted to Evan who had turned around to walk to the bathroom down the hall. And he couldn't help but to notice how much his t-shirt clung to his body while it was wet. You could see everything, every outline of every muscle, and Jonathan swallowed hard. Having Evan here was going to be much more of a challenge than he bargained for. Soon, the asian man returned, and threw a towel to Jonathan so that the older man could dry off as well. Thunder boomed loudly, almost making the house shake. Delirious sighed in content, "I've always loved the rain." He admitted.

"Me too." Evan smiled as he dried his wet hair.

When the two boys were dried off, Delirious decided to open up all the windows in the house, letting the cool stormy breeze wash in, and he and Evan made it a plan to chill on the couch and find something to watch on TV. Jonathan threw the remote to Evan, "You go ahead and pick something." He said as he went to make himself comfy on his large sofa. Curling his legs underneath him, that was always his favorite way to sit. Vanoss caught the remote, and made his way over to the couch as well.

"Mind if I sit here?" He teased as he sent a wink to Delirious. Jonathan merely shook his head, and felt Evan plop down beside him. It was quiet then between the two men as Evan flipped through the television channels, trying to find something to watch. Eventually, he decided on some comedy movie that was playing, neither of them were really concerned with what it was. And neither of them really cared either. They were tired, and just wanted to enjoy each other's company. Hell, the only thing Delirious was focused on was just how close Evan was sitting next to him, with his leg tucked underneath the rest of his body. The warmth radiating off him made Jonathan hot.

It felt so natural, so innate for them to be cuddled up on the couch like that watching a movie. It felt like they had done it for years, time and time again, just enjoying the mere presence of each other. And before Evan knew it, Jonathan was laying on his shoulder, his head resting there all comfortable like, and he couldn't help but to smile as he too, laid his head down as well. Their bodies touched, closely next to each other, and it felt like pure bliss. It all felt too much like a dream, one that neither of them wanted to wake up from. And Jonathan just couldn't believe how close he and Evan already were to each other.

A thought crossed his mind, and he couldn't help but to scoff at it. Even if he and Evan never ended up together in the end, at least he could die happy knowing they cuddled together, and were comfortable with doing this stuff with each other. Jonathan hated the fact that he didn't have the guts to tell Evan that he was crushing on him. And Evan hated himself for not having the balls to do the same. Both of them had so many pent up romantic feelings and attraction, but were too fucking scared to ever say anything. It was a game that neither of them enjoyed playing.

Delirious made a mental note to tell Cartoonz all about his day in the morning when he woke up. Albeit, his friend would probably only tease him and make fun of him more, Jonathan didn't care. He needed to tell somebody just how happy Evan made him, and about everything they did together. He had to get it off his chest, and Luke knew about the crush, so maybe he could help. Maybe he could offer some insight. Maybe, just maybe, Jonathan could get Luke to talk to Evan to see if the younger man had any romantic inclinations towards him. But that was for another time, another day. Right now, Jonathan just wanted to revel and soak in what was Evan.

It felt like an eternity before either of them spoke again. "Hey Evan?" Jonathan questioned, his voice barely above a whisper.

"Yeah Jon?" Evan asked, turning his head slightly so that he was looking at Jonathan out of the corner of his eye.

"Don't fall asleep, okay?" The older man replied.

Vanoss chuckled lightly, "Why not?"

"Because I don't want this day to be over." Jonathan confessed, that familiar heat rising to his cheeks and creeping down his neck once more. Hell, he had blushed more today than he had in his entire damn life. He didn't like the feeling of being embarrassed or flustered, especially around Evan. He liked to think he was calm and collected, and had his shit together, when in all reality, he was the complete opposite. He was a hot and frazzled, confused, blushing mess. But little did Jonathan know, Evan absolutely adored that about him.

"Okay." Evan whispered, "I won't fall asleep."

"Promise?"

The younger man said nothing, he didn't feel like he had to say anything. He didn't want to ruin the mood, he didn't want to interrupt the peaceful silence that the two of them had created. He only reached between himself and Jonathan and grabbed the older man's hand once more. He intertwined their fingers together for the umpteenth time that day, and squeezed as tight as he could, hoping that Jonathan knew what he meant by the gesture. It was like the two boys were in their own little world that night, and both of them fell asleep right there on Jonathan's couch, heads resting on one another's, and hands intertwined in a deadly vice grip.


	8. He Is Kind Of Cute

Jonathan was the first to wake up the next morning, and his back was incredibly stiff from having fell asleep on the couch; and from falling asleep sitting up. His couches were always a bitch to sleep on because they were a little hard. Upon waking up, he stretched his stiff muscles and yawned raising his arms high over his head, his body getting ready to face the day. He still felt groggy, but he always woke up early most days, so by now he was used to it; used to not getting as many hours of sleep a night as he should. Jonathan was usually sleep deprived, so he didn't mind at all. He had grown accustomed to the haunting insomnia that tormented him every night.

An unfamiliar weight on his legs drug him out of his thoughts, and his blue eyes drifted only to find Evan laying on them, sound asleep, and snoring lowly. He was curled up, his short legs tucked underneath him, and his lengthy arms were wrapped tightly around the older man's waist, and Jonathan could feel his nimble fingers burning holes in his skin where they touched. He was locked onto his best friend, while his head rested on his lap. And Delirious decided right then and there that this was not a bad way to wake up. In fact, he'd probably prefer waking up like this, instead of alone in his bed, or his dog barking for him to get the hell up.

The events of yesterday and last night came flooding back into his already hazy mind, and the recollection made his cheeks burn from fondness. They had an incredible time yesterday with each other, and Delirious would have loved to be able to relive that moment again and again. If yesterday just replayed over and over, he'd be content with that, and his life would be complete. Even though they were just friends, he didn't care. Spending that day with Evan was probably the best fucking day of his life. He wouldn't trade it for the world. Because even if they were just friends, it didn't feel like it. Deep down they felt like they were more. And the fact that they actually held hands made Jonathan happier than it should have.

Vanoss looked so peaceful while he was asleep, his mouth slightly ajar, and his face relaxed in that beautiful sleeping position. Delirious didn't want to wake him up just yet, he looked to sleepy, too at peace and well. He had the feeling it was still in the early hours of the morning anyway because the sun wasn't all the way up just yet. It rested on the horizon, the chilly air still seeping in through the open windows that the older man forgot to close before they went to sleep last night. Jonathan loved the morning air, and the smells from the outside. It was a good morning so far, the dewdrops making the air have a crisp clean feeling. A few more moments passed, and Jonathan decided to snap a quick picture of the asian man while he was asleep and send to Cartoonz. _Help, Evan's asleep on my lap._ He knew his friend would be awake, and he would text back right away.

 _I don't see the problem there._

Delirious grinned before typing back a quick response, being sure not to wake the sleeping man beneath him up. _You coming over today?_ He asked through the text.

Luke text, _Yeah, in a few hours. See you soon man._

The other guys were coming today, and that fact right there was enough to make Jonathan's heart clench tightly, as if someone was wrapping their fist around it and squeezing it tight. That's why he needed Cartoonz, and that's why he was so so so glad that Evan was here with him right now. Carefully and slowly, he maneuvered his way from underneath Evan, and made sure the younger man didn't stir. It was a success, and Jonathan was able to get up from the couch without waking his friend. Evan merely rolled over and snored a little louder. Goddamn he was too cute for his own good. Delirious smiled as he covered the younger man with another blanket so he wouldn't get cold from the chilly air making its way inside. After that, he decided to surprise Evan with a very large breakfast.

Jonathan went to work in the kitchen, but quietly so he wouldn't wake Vanoss up. He cooked and he cooked and he cooked. Pancakes, bacon, eggs, and even little hash brown potatoes, he wanted Evan to feel like a king when he finally woke up. And this breakfast would damn sure make him feel like one, at least, he hoped that it would. The house was filled with the delicious smell of breakfast and maple, and while he was cooking, his phone was being blown up with texts from the other guys. It was no surprise that they were all hella excited for today and the oncoming week.

 _Can't wait to see your beautiful face today!_

 _Almost packed and ready!_

 _See you soon, Delirious._

Hell, Nogla even sent tons of selfies of he and Lui together. And Jonathan had hope, he had hope that all his friends wouldn't care about his anxiety or his fear of meeting people face to face. He put everyone coming in a group chat, and sent them another quick text. _Let me know when you guys get to the airport. Vanoss and I will come and pick you up._ He let the boys know that Evan was here, that way they wouldn't be surprised when they saw him at the airport standing beside Delirious. _I can't wait to see you guys either, it's gonna be so much fucking fun._ Jonathan also added.

 _Evan's already there?_ Wildcat questioned. _What an asshole._

Jonathan laughed at Tyler's response, but he slid his phone back into his pocket, and focused on cooking his breakfast. It was nearly finished, and he couldn't be more proud of what he accomplished. Meanwhile, Evan was stirring to consciousness as he came to from sleep. Instantly, his nose filled with the delicious smell, and his mouth immediately began to water. His dark eyes looked into the kitchen, where he saw Delirious standing at the stove, clad in pajamas and bedhead, flipping pancakes. It was appealing to see him like that, if Vanoss was being honest with himself. It was like a different side that nobody knew about.

He got off the couch, quietly, and headed into the kitchen. "Holy shit what is that smell?" He inquired.

Jonathan spun around, and laughed, "Jesus Christ Evan, you scared the absolute shit outta me!" He giggled, causing Evan to grin as well.

"Nice bedhead." The younger man replied, a cheeky smile written on his face.

"Yeah, well you got one too." Jonathan retorted as he went back to his pancakes. "I hope you're hungry."

"I am now." Evan replied as he sat at the kitchen counter, watching Jonathan cook.

"Did you sleep okay?" The older man questioned as he turned the stove off, and got some plates out of his dishwasher. He began laying the food out, and pouring glasses of orange juice to go with their breakfast. Breakfast was Jonathan's favorite meal of the day, and he always liked to outdo himself each time. After all, without a good breakfast, it wasn't a good day.

And Evan didn't want to admit it to his best friend, but the previous night was the best night of sleep that he had gotten in a long long long time. Just knowing that Jonathan was right there beside him gave him all the comfort in the world. And holding his hand made the insomnia, restlessness, and bad dreams disappear. He slept so great, and he felt more well rested today than he had in his whole life. Evan decided right then and there that he could get used to that; falling asleep next to Jonathan, and then waking up to the man cooking breakfast. It was definitely a good way to start the day, and thinking of that, caused Evan to shift in his seat, and rub the back of his neck. "I slept good." Evan answered shortly, not wanting to let on to what he was really thinking.

Jonathan chuckled, "That's 'cause you had the most comfortable pillow." God, was that his awful attempt at flirting?

"Probably." Evan agreed, and that made Delirious' heart skip a beat.

"Breakfast is served." Jonathan said, sliding Evan a plate and a glass of orange juice as he sat down beside his best friend. "Hope you like it." He smiled, and began eating his food. He watched and waited for Evan to take the first bite, and when he did, he swore he could see gears turning in the younger man's head. This was the best fucking breakfast Evan had eaten in a long time, and he had to admit that he hadn't actually even had a nice home cooked breakfast in a really long time. Jonathan was a saint, a literal saint for doing all of this for the younger man. He went above and beyond, that was for sure.

"Jonathan, why didn't you tell me you could cook?" Vanoss inquired, food still in his mouth as he chewed.

Delirious shrugged, "It never came up, I guess?"

"Well, this is fucking amazing." Evan praised.

"I'm glad you like it." After breakfast, the two boys decided to get cleaned up and changed into some clean clothes. Delirious straightened up his house, cleaning up the small breakfast mess, and the little mess that he and Evan had made last night. And once that was done, they played some kind of multiplayer game together on Jonathan's xbox, laughing and giggling the whole time as they killed each other; cussing each other out when they got mad. It was just another one of those moments where everything was perfect, and it felt completely natural. Them playing games together was something they could do everyday with each other, and it made Jonathan feel like everything was going to be okay.

A few more hours passed, and that's when there was a knock on the door. Delirious knew that it had to be Luke, so he paused the game that he and Evan were playing, and went to go answer it. "I'm here!" Luke shouted as soon as Jonathan was able to get the door open. They both laughed as Jon let him in, and Evan stood up from the couch and walked over to where Jonathan and Luke were standing by the door. "Well well well, you must be the famous Evan." Luke joked, knowing all too well that he and Evan had spoke before.

"That is me." Evan confirmed.

"It's nice to finally meet you, in person." Luke extended his hand for Vanoss to shake, and he gladly accepted.

"You too." Evan nodded. Meanwhile, Delirious had gotten a text from Daithi saying that the plane he and Lui were on was going to land soon. They had flown together since they lived together, and were now about to be in North Carolina. So that meant that Jonathan, Evan, and Luke would have to drive to the airport to pick them up. It was no surprise that Nogla was going to be here first. He had always expressed an interest in meeting Delirious face to face, and now he finally had the chance, he was going to take full advantage of it.

"You guys ready to go pick up Lui and Nogla?" Jonathan asked.

Vanoss nodded, "Yeah, let me run to the bathroom really quick." He said before turning and heading down the hall.

As soon as he was out of earshot, Cartoonz began to laugh. "What?" Delirious questioned.

"I see why you like him..." Luke trailed off. "He is kind of cute."

Jonathan laughed, "Shut the fuck up Luke."


	9. Group Hug!

"I started from the bottom and I'm still up in my room, chillin' in my boxers, sittin' watching cartoons..." Luke was attempting to rap. He was sitting in the back seat of Jonathan's car, while Evan was in the passenger seat, and he had his headphones in, rapping as loudly and obnoxiously as he possibly could. It was driving the other two boys to insanity. He was bobbing his head back and forth, and Vanoss was only trying his hardest not to laugh. It was a damn funny sight to see, and every now and again, he'd use the mirror to take a glance, and try not to crack up laughing again.

Evan nudged Delirious as he drove, "Is he always that annoying?" He inquired.

Jonathan laughed, and nodded, "Pretty much."

Evan laughed as well, "Good to know."

"Don't worry, you'll get used to it." Jonathan continued. "I did." He added with more laughter. They were nearing the airport, the same one that Delirious had just came to the day before to pick up Evan. Only today, he was coming to get Lui and Nogla. The other guys had flights coming in at later times, but they'd be here sooner or later. And Jonathan was practically bubbling with excitement. Well, it was either that or nerves, probably mostly nerves. But he didn't care. This was a big step for him, meeting his friends, finally showing his face.

When they finally arrived the airport, Jonathan parked the car, and he and the other boys got out. He and Evan walked comfortably close to each other, their hands brushing against one another's, sending small sparks of electricity up their arms. Evan wanted to grab Jonathan's hand, and intertwine his long fingers with his own, but decided against it. He liked it better when they were alone, away from public eyes. Because when they were alone, it felt better, more special, and he liked to revel in that sweet satisfaction.

And Luke walked behind them awkwardly, being the third wheel as always. He still had his headphones in, listening to some weird pop song that managed to shuffle through his phone, as he followed behind his two friends. He couldn't help but to think that they actually looked _good_ together. He wondered if Jonathan had dropped any hints to Evan about his crush or whatever... And he also wondered if Evan felt the same. He liked to think he did, after all, he really didn't want to see Delirious getting hurt in the end. He made it a mental note to talk to Evan later when Jon wasn't around to get his input on things. Secretly, he enjoyed playing matchmaker.

The airport was crowded today, this morning, the chatter of people filled the three men's ears as they maneuvered through the seas of people. Delirious' phone began to ring, and he picked it up without looking at it. "Where the fuck are ye?" Nogla nearly yelled, causing Jonathan to laugh.

"We're at the airport." He answered, grinning. "Where are you?"

"Standing by a big window." Nogla replied, and Jonathan looked around until he spotted the tall man. It was funny, seeing how much bigger he was than everyone else, and Jonathan couldn't help but to laugh as he hung up his phone and began walking over to where he was standing with Lui. He and smaller man looked weird standing next to each other, but only because Lui was so short. Vanoss and Luke followed behind him, until finally they reached their other group of friends who looked as though they had been waiting for a pretty long time.

"Holy shit! Is that you Delirious? I thought you'd be ugly!" Lui laughed once they came into view.

Delirious giggled his familiar laugh, "Well I'm pretty beautiful, sorry to break it to you..." He trailed off. "I'll give you a few moments to soak it all in."

"And you're tall..." Nogla trailed off, sizing the man up. He was a couple inches shorter than himself, but Delirious definitely had more muscle to him. But the Irishman had never imagined Delirious to be some tall, brunette, and handsome man. Hell, he wasn't sure what he had expected, but it definitely wasn't this. He was sure that Delirious was better looking than all of them put together. No wonder he never showed his face in public; his fans would die from the beauty. A smile came to his lips at the thought of that, what a dumb thing to say.

Evan chuckled, "I said the same thing."

"Yeah but not as tall as you, Nogla, you fuckin' beanstalk." Jonathan laughed, looking up at the Irishman.

"Hey!" Nogla frowned.

Lui butted into their conversation, pushing Daithi out of the way, "Sorry to interrupt the love fest but can we get the hell out of here? If one more person bumps into me, I swear..." He trailed off, shaking his head. "And can we get food? I'm starving." He added, a small smile gracing his lips. He and Nogla had skipped out on breakfast to get here as early as they could, and now his stomach was paying for it.

"Yeah, I'm hungry too." Luke commented.

Jonathan nodded, "Yeah, I'm sure there's somewhere around here we could eat." Nogla and Lui then picked up their bags, and the five of them dodged the people of the airport to get back to the car. Luckily, there was just enough room for all of them. But having Luke, Nogla, and Lui in the backseat all at the same time was like dealing with three little kids. They kept complaining about touching each other, and Luke just wouldn't stop singing.

"Ready for a week from hell?" Evan asked Jonathan, grinning widely.

Jonathan smiled and looked over to Evan as he drove, "As long as you're here, I should be fine." Evan held out his hand, offering it to Jonathan, and the older man took it gratefully, resting their arms on the console in between their seats as their fingers mingled together, sending bouts of warmth in each other their direction. He drove like that the rest of the way, it helped him relax, and it helped him ignore the three idiots in the back seat of the car. But Luke was watching them together, watching them interact, and it only made his heart ache even more, because he knew that Delirious was falling for the asian man more and more with each moment that passed.

They found a small burger place near the airport to get some food, "You know it's good food when you can taste the diabetes in it." Luke commented as he took a huge bite of his cheeseburger, earning a few laughs from the guys. And they ate in small chit chat, discussing other things among each other and what not. Delirious was glad his anxiety wasn't acting up usual, and what surprised him the most was that he felt comfortable around Lui and Nogla. Whether it was the presence of Vanoss, or Cartoonz, he didn't know. All he knew was that right here, in this moment, he felt genuinely okay, and he could be himself around his friends.

"Tyler's on his way." Evan interrupted, showing a selfie of Wildcat on twitter, on the airplane.

Lui laughed, "Let's not pick him up."

Jonathan laughed, "You're an asshole, Lui."

"It'd be funny though!" Lui defended.

This time Nogla laughed as well, "Ya know, it would be pretty fuckin' funny."

"We're not leaving him!" Jonathan couldn't stop laughing. When they finished eating their greasy burgers, they drove back to Jonathan's house so that they could get Luke's car as well, knowing there wouldn't be enough room for everyone if they only took one car. "You know what..." Jonathan trailed off as they stood in the doorway of his home. "If you guys just want to stay here, Evan and I can pick everyone else up." He said to Luke, Lui, and Nogla. After all, they were only expecting Tyler, Mini Ladd, Marcel, Moo, Brian, and Droid, and so what if they had to make a couple of trips. That just meant he could have more alone time with Vanoss, and that wasn't ever a bad thing.

"I like that idea." Nogla nodded. "We'll eat all your food while you're gone." He smiled mischievously.

Lui laughed loudly, "But we literally just ate!" Daithi only shrugged, making Lui laugh more.

Luke sent a pleading look to Delirious, "Don't leave me here with these fuckers." He begged, his dark eyes pleading.

"Quit being a drama queen, Luke." Jonathan waived it off. "It's only for a little while." And that was that, and one by one, trip after trip, Evan and Jonathan went back and forth to and from the airport to pick up their friends. After Tyler arrived, Marcel came, and then Droid, and after that it was Craig, Brian, and last but not least, Brock arrived just before the sun was going down. And they all had the same reaction about Delirious. He was not what they expected, at all, but they were still glad to have finally been able to meet him after all this time of playing games with each other. When all the running was done for the day, Jonathan's house was full. "Alright." He sighed, "That's everyone."

"Group hug!" Tyler yelled, wrapping himself around Delirious to annoy him.

"Group hug!" Everyone else joined in as well, a giant mess of bodies all wrapped around Jonathan, and all that man could do was laugh. He was so happy right here in that moment, surrounded by people who loved and cared about him. He knew he should have done this such a long time ago, especially if he was going to get this great of a reaction from everyone. He knew that he definitely had to do this more often now, and he knew that they were going to have so much fun this week. He literally couldn't wait to make great memories with everyone. And some not so great ones too. Jonathan was also grateful for everyone else being here too, because now he'd be able to focus on them, instead of centering all his attention on Evan. Lord knows what would have happened if it would have just been them two alone.

They ordered pizza for dinner, only because Delirious didn't feel like cooking after all that running back and forth. And even though he was exhausted, when it was time for him to go to sleep, sleep just wouldn't come. He could feel the insomnia creeping up around him, and surrounding him. He knew what he needed was some fresh air, so he headed out to the front porch, quietly, making sure not to wake up any of his sleeping friends who were crowded in the living room, on couches, on floors, and on the beds in the guest rooms. It was late, and he couldn't believe just how high the moon and stars were in the sky when he stepped outside. The night air was warm, and humid, and he inhaled the moist air, letting it settle deep in his lungs.

There was something about that night that comforted him, and made him feel safe. Especially when all the stars were out like tonight. Jonathan found himself on his front porch most nights when he couldn't sleep. He'd come out here, talk to Evan on the phone, think about his life, or even just sit in silence and stargaze. It helped him relax, and he was thankful for the night. Not even five minutes of being outside, the front door opened, revealing Evan standing there clad in his jammies. "Thought I heard you come out here." He mumbled lowly. "Can't sleep?" He inquired, stepping outside and closing the door behind him.

Jonathan shook his head, "You?"

"Nope." Evan answered.

"Wanna join me?" Jonathan patted the seat next to him on the little porch swing, and Evan sat down beside him. Together they reveled in the moon and stars, and enjoyed the company of just having each other to hold onto.


	10. I'm Sure It's Beautiful

"Wow, look at the moon." Delirious marveled, his blue eyes trailing upwards to look at the dark sky. The sky that was illuminated with billions of tiny stars, shimmering slightly, like they were winking at the two men who still rested on that little porch swing. They were close to each other, legs touching, brushing against the fabric of their pajama pants, sending warmth in each of their directions. It was the good kind of warmth too, the kind that made electricity swim around in your gut, made your nerves wind together, and kept the hair on the back of your neck standing up.

Evan followed his gaze, "Yeah, it's great."

A small chuckle escaped the older man's lips as his eyes darted around, searching for any recognizable constellations he could see. "I'm a sucker for this kind of stuff man..." He trailed off, blue orbs still busy in soaking up the sky. Ever since he was a kid, Jonathan had always been fascinated in the stars and the sky, the beauty in it all. "I always wondered what it's like up there... On the moon." He continued to ramble as he looked away, then back to Evan who was sitting there with a little grin on his face. He was grinning because this was a side of Jonathan that he had never seen before. The side that enjoyed pretty things and twinkly lights, the side that let its guard down during the late hours of the night.

"I'm sure it's beautiful." _Like you._ Evan answered, his voice barely above a whisper. He couldn't handle this moment; the intensity, the vulnerability, the rawness of it all... He couldn't handle being with Delirious alone, it made him question everything in his being. It was too much to handle, and having Jonathan sitting here next to him under the light of the night sky didn't help one bit. Those oceans he had for eyes reflected the bright light of the moon, and it made his eyes even more blue if that were even possible. And Evan was lost, lost in the moment, lost in the night, lost in what was Jonathan, and goddamn he didn't want to be found.

Their hands found one another, and for the umpteenth time since they'd been together in person, their fingers danced together, twisting in the elegance that was the simplicity of holding hands. Jonathan wanted to make a witty smartass remark about how much they'd been holding hands, but he didn't want to ruin the moment. Instead, he let his thumb draw aimless circles on the back on the younger man's hand, feeling the calloused flesh beneath his touch. He liked this way too much, and he didn't know how much longer he could put up with it. "I'm glad you're here, with me, Evan." Jonathan murmured. He didn't want his voice to take away the peacefulness of the moment.

He felt Evan's head move to where it resting on his shoulder, and he could feel the asian man's breath on his neck. "Me too, Jon."

They lost track of time, sitting like that. Enticed and wrapped in just what was each other. Jonathan never stopped drawing his aimless circles, and Evan never stopped breathing on the older man's neck. The porch swing felt as though it was shrinking with just how close they had gotten to each other, and Jonathan could feel himself flushing. And in that moment, he was glad it was dark outside so Evan couldn't see just how red his face was actually turning. His mind was screaming at him to tell Vanoss his feelings, telling him to confess right there, telling him that everything would be okay, they'd live happily ever after. But the insecure part of Delirious, that small tiny part was weighing him down. "Evan..." Jonathan whispered. He was going to do it, he swore he was. "Evan, I have to tell you something." His heart was beating fast, and he was sure it sounded like a pummeling freight train going about three hundred miles per hour.

That's when he heard a faint snore coming from the man laying on his shoulder, and he realized that Evan had fallen asleep. Relief and sadness washed over him in that moment. Relief because he wouldn't actually have to say that he was _in love_ with his best friend, and sadness because he knew that he and Evan might not ever get another moment alone for the rest of the week, or he might not be able to work up the courage to actually confess again. Delirious sighed, and ran a hand through his brunette tufts of hair. Fate was not on his side. Maybe this was a sign that he shouldn't confess to Evan. He looked to the stars again, and he was unsure.

Whatever it was, he decided to push all his thoughts away, and get Vanoss into bed. It wouldn't be difficult to carry the younger man, considering he was much small than Jonathan, but it damn sure wasn't going to be an easy task either. Jonathan stood up, carefully, making sure Evan didn't fall over, and picked the asian man up bridal style, smiling when he wrapped his arms around his own neck. It was surprising how light he was, but now came the hard part, getting him into the house, and into his bed without waking anybody up.

Delirious maneuvered very carefully through the house, being sure not to jostle Evan awake as he walked to the guest bedroom. He was ninety percent sure he kicked Mini Ladd in the head because he had decided to sleep on the floor, but he didn't care, at that moment, the sleeping man in his arms was his only concern. It felt like forever, but he finally reached the guest room that Evan had chosen to stay in. The clock on the wall read that it was almost four in the morning, and Jonathan could feel the tiredness finally taking a toll on his body.

He laid Evan in the bed, the younger man's body taking all the warmth with it when the two finally detached. And somehow, Jonathan felt content as he covered Evan up with the thin blanket that happened to be on the bed. He was so cute when he was sleeping, and the older man couldn't help but to gush slightly before he began to walk back to his own room. "Jonathan...?" It was Vanoss' voice, that was for sure, but was he sleep talking? Or was Jon's mind playing tricks on him? The older man turned to look back at the bed, and Evan was now laying on his side. "Sleep with me, _please_?" His voice was muffled, and groggy from sleep, but Jonathan had to question himself to make sure he heard the other man right.

"Uh..." He trailed off, "You sure?"

Jonathan could see Evan nod in the dark as he laid there and the big bed. _Holy fuck_ , this was not happening. Delirious could feel his heartbeat picking up in his chest once more, and he wasn't just going to not accept an offer to sleep in the same bed as Evan. He had dreamed about this many many times, and he was going to take advantage of this damn offer. He shuffled to the left side of the bed, Evan being on the right side, and sat down. He was hesitant, doing this, laying right beside Evan, and he could feel anxiety pooling in his belly. Jonathan really didn't want to mess this up. "Hurry up and lay down." Evan mumbled, opening one of his eyes to see Jonathan sitting on the edge of the bed.

Jonathan chuckled, but said nothing else as he laid in the bed beside Evan, and covered himself up with the blanket. He assumed that Evan wouldn't remember his sleepy words when morning came. And he couldn't believe that this moment was actually happening in his life. Never in a million years had he thought that he'd be sharing a bed with his best friend. Now he was too wound up, and too excited to sleep. So, Jonathan laid there on his back, and stared up at the ceiling, counting the little cracks, or the small cobwebs in the dark corners. This man would be the death of him, and he knew it.

It was nearing four thirty in the morning, when Delirious felt Evan's nimble fingers trailing down his arm. He looked over, and sure enough, the other man was sleeping, but a little grin blessed his face when he found Jonathan's hand, and locked their fingers together for what seemed to be the millionth time. Relaxation instantly took over his body, and he felt like maybe now he could finally go to sleep. Evan worked wonders on Jonathan; he was like the older man's personal drug, and he would continue to be so as long as they got to be together like this.

When the sun finally rose, and morning time came, Evan was the first to wake out of the two. And when he felt that his and Jonathan's fingers were still interlocked together, he smiled to himself. His plan worked. He didn't actually think Jonathan would carry him into the house, but it made his heart swell when he did. The younger man didn't actually want to blatantly ask Jon to sleep in the same bed with him, so he pretended to sleepily do it, and it worked like a charm. He felt so well rested when he slept with Delirious near him, and he wanted to keep it that way. Although, there was a thought lurking in the back of his mind... What did Jonathan have to tell him before he pretended to be asleep?

It had to have been important, and he could tell it was by the way Jonathan's voice sounded. He made it a mental not to ask him about it once they were alone again. But for now, he'd focus on the way Jonathan slept with his beautiful lips parted slightly, the way his chest rose and fell with each breath he took, and the way his eyelashes only partially touched his cheek when he had his eyes closed. That man was too attractive for his own good, and that multiplied by a hundred when he was sleeping. "Goddamn it _Nogla_!" It was Wildcat's voice that brought Evan back to reality, and he realized that all of the other guys were still here. He and Delirious weren't alone, and that thought made him a little sad.

"Would ye shut the fuck up!?" Nogla yelled right back. "Delirious is still asleep!"

"You should have thought about that before you ate all the fucking cereal!" Tyler sounded extremely pissed, and Evan couldn't help but to stifle a laugh. Of course, he would be the one to get mad about something as stupid as cereal. He was always getting angry over the smallest stuff, it was just the way he was, but that was one of the reasons why everybody loved him too.

"Tyler," It was Mini's voice. "We _can_ get more cereal, calm down."

"No. You stay the hell out of this, Mini."

Evan felt Jonathan roll over in the bed beside him, and that's when those baby blues of his opened. The first thing he did was laugh, and Evan concluded that right then and there, Jonathan's laugh in the morning was his absolute favorite sound in the world. He wanted it on repeat, and he didn't want to hear anything else ever again. "I swear it's like having twenty kids..." He managed to get out through his laughter. "Can't even get any damn sleep." He added.

Vanoss chuckled as well, "I guess mom and dad better get out of bed then, eh?"

Jonathan sat up, "As long as you're the mom, then okay."

"I am so not the mom." Evan scoffed.


	11. You're Staring Again

"Well, it's about time you two got the fuck up." Luke commented as Jonathan and Evan came shuffling together out of the guest room.

"Can't sleep in when Tyler's out here yelling about cereal." Evan replied, glaring at the other man who just grinned sheepishly. Jonathan ended up cooking breakfast that morning. He was busy at work at the stove in the kitchen, frying up some eggs for his friends while they sat at his table, talking and laughing. It was like family was coming to visit, and Jonathan was happy. And while he was cooking, Vanoss was watching him. Every now and again, the younger man would take shy glances out of the corner of his eye, studying Jonathan's every move as he moved back and forth between the stove and the fridge.

What did he have to tell him last night? What was so important that his voice quivered and he had to say his name twice? Those questions haunted Evan relentlessly, and he knew he wouldn't be able to get them off his mind until Jonathan brought it back up. And who the hell knows when that would be? The older man could have changed his mind about it all by now. Whatever it was, he knew it was important, but he also had no idea just what it was... "Hey Evan, maybe if you stare at him long enough he'll burst into flames." It was Moo's voice who brought Evan back to reality.

The asian man turned to look at his friend who sat across from him at the table, "Hm? I'm not staring."

Brock only laughed, "Yeah, okay."

"You were _so_ staring at him." Mini jumped in. "I mean, we know he's attractive and everything, but you really don't have to stare."

Vanoss gave a small chuckle, and ducked his head from embarrassment, "Fuck you guys." He tried to laugh it off, but he couldn't help the blush that was rising to his cheeks. His face felt too hot, and he didn't like it. He didn't like the fact that the guys were gaining up on him, making him realize that yes, Delirious was attractive. Way too attractive for his own good... Making him realize that he wished he could call Jonathan his. He wanted that man like no other, wanted him more than anything else in this world. He turned his attention back to the kitchen, "Is the food done yet, Jonathan?" He inquired, just hoping that some of the attention would be drawn away from him.

"Almost." Delirious answered without missing a beat.

"We're hungry!" Nogla whined.

"You're hungry!?" Tyler retorted. "You got to eat already!"

Evan sighed, "Come on guys, not this crap again."

As soon as Jonathan had breakfast done, the boys wasted no time in getting their plates of food and digging in. And Jon had not disappointed them, he made eggs, and bacon, along with some buttered toast. They ate in chit chat and laughter at the older man's kitchen table, just enjoying the company of each other. "Holy _fuck,_ Delirious can cook." Brian exclaimed as he took the first bite. And the rest of the boys agreed, loving the man's first meal he prepared for them. When breakfast was over, Droid and Craig helped Jonathan clean up the kitchen, and all was content in the household. But Jonathan knew good and well that he'd have to entertain his guests or they'd start acting crazy again.

"Okay, everybody listen the fuck up." Delirious announced. "We're going swimming, so get your shit and let's go."

"Swimming?" Lui questioned.

Jonathan nodded, "Me and Luke got a great spot."

And the older man did have a great spot. Back when he and Luke were kids, there was a small and very secluded lake that'd they swim at after school, or waste their summers away at. Delirious knew that the guys just had to see it, and he knew that Evan would love it. So, after everyone got cleaned up and ready to go, they were on their way. Jonathan drove his car, with Vanoss in the passenger seat, and Moo, Nogla, and Droid in the back seat. Luke also drove his car, Lui in the passenger seat, and Mini, Brian, Marcel, and Wildcat rode in the back. Jonathan was thankful for Cartoonz and his car, because without it, there was no way in hell all of them could hang out at the same time.

The drive to the lake took about an hour, and for the most part, both cars were quiet. Nothing but the sound of the wind whipping through the windows filled the air, and it was hot as hell out. Delirious concluded that this had to have been the hottest day all summer. That's why swimming was a great idea. And all the while while driving, Jonathan couldn't help but to get lost in his thoughts. What if Evan hadn't fallen asleep last night? Would he had still confessed his feelings? Or would he have pussied out like always? Those questions tormented him, making his brow furrow in frustration. Why did this have to be so goddamn hard? Why did he have to be so insecure and doubt everything that crossed his mind? Jonathan hated himself for that part of him. "You alright?" Evan inquired, glancing over at the man, noticing his frustrated demeanor. A laugh then escaped him, "You're either really pissed off, or thinking really hard about something." He joked, dark eyes softening as he turned to look at Jonathan.

"Just in my thoughts, that's all." Delirious answered. "We're almost there though." He added, giving Evan a half smile. Shit, they hadn't even been around each other in person that much and Vanoss could already ready Jonathan like a book. That was a sign of how close they were already, a sign of just how well they actually knew each other. A sigh escaped the older man's lips, and he wondered just how long he could actually do this and put up this whole façade of just being friends. A connection was there, he could feel it, and he knew Evan could too. A part of him wished that Evan would confess first, then all the pressure wouldn't be on him. But he knew Evan wouldn't, he wasn't the type, and he damn sure didn't ever talk about his feelings. Only ever once in a blue moon did that happen.

"So, would this be a bad time to tell you guys I can't swim?" Brock questioned from the backseat. "Because I really don't want to die today."

Jonathan laughed, "Don't worry, the lake's pretty shallow."

A few more minutes of driving, and they were nearing a dirt road that led back to the lake. Luke followed behind Jonathan in his car, driving slowly, not wanting to pick up dust on the road. The sun shined high in the sky, and the humid air was almost unbearable, but finally they made it, and all ten of them unpacked from the cars. "Holy shit." Tyler trailed off as he took in the sight of the lake. The water was a clear blue color, the trees around had the greenest of leaves, and it definitely was a sight for sore eyes. "I need to go outside more often." Wildcat continued to joke.

"Yes, welcome to the outdoors." Delirious gestured to the lake. "Now please, try not to kill each other." He added, and began walking towards the lake. He wrapped his arms around his torso, and pulled his shirt over his head, and threw it to the ground. The rest of the guys, with the exception of Luke who was already in the water, walked behind him, and Evan couldn't take his dark eyes off of the older man. His pale skin reflected the sunlight, and his muscles, goddamn those muscles of his would be the death of the younger man. Jonathan was perfect, in more ways than one. And right above his back dimples, there was a small bruise from where he fell ice skating the other day.

Mini coughed, "You're staring again."

Evan turned around and glared at the smaller man, "So?"

Nogla grinned, "Ya know Evan, if I didn't know any better, I'd say ye got a bit of a crush on Delirious."

The sound of water splashing made Vanoss turn his attention back to lake, and sure enough, there was Jonathan, coming up from the lake, the water making his skin glisten in the light of the sun. A smile graced his beautiful lips, and he motioned to Evan. "Come on Ev!" He yelled through a giggle, "The water's great!" He continued to laugh as he went under water once more. It was definitely a better feeling than being in the too hot car. Evan turned around, giving the other guys a look, simply ignoring Nogla's comment, and took his own shirt off as well, then ran for the water.

One by one, the rest of the guys joined Luke, Evan, and Jon in the water. Swimming seemed to be just what they needed. It helped get rid of some tension that was between them, helped them relax from the oncoming waves of heat, and helped them bond and spend time together. And albeit, all the other guys were there too, Evan and Jonathan never seemed to stray too far from one another. It was like they were in each other's orbit, and were inevitably drawn together, whether they were doing it on purpose or not. "Wanna see who can hold their breath longer?" Evan challenged, giving Delirious that loving crooked smile.

"Oh you're on bitch." He replied, before the both of them disappeared underneath the clear lake water.

"Goddamn they are so into each other." Tyler shook his head as he watched the two boys from afar.

"You see it too?" Luke questioned.

"A blind person could see that shit."

"Yeah, well, Jon's always had a bit of a crush on Evan." Luke revealed. "It's easy to see why..." He trailed off, "Look at 'em." He pointed to the two men who were now splashing water in each other's faces, laughing. They were so so so interlinked into each other's lives, it was almost uncanny. Neither of them able to imagine life without the other one. There was this undeniable chemistry lingering between them, and every single person in the group could see it. You couldn't miss it, it was like an elephant in the room.

"Should we do something?" Lui inquired, "Like to help?"

"I don't know guys... We shouldn't fuck with them like that." Droid commented.

"Let's just give 'em alone time." Craig suggested. "Then maybe it'll get out on its own?" He suggested, and that was the best that anybody had to offer. Cartoonz especially liked that idea, because giving them alone time meant that Delirious would be able to do this on his own. He'd be able to work up the courage to finally confess to Evan, unless Evan confessed first, and that was still a good thing. Both of them needed the balls to do, and if they were alone, it'd be so much more easier for them to be comfortable and just come out with it.

"Alone time." Tyler agreed.

"Are you assholes over there talkin' shit?" Jonathan joked, pulling the guys' attention away from each other, and back to the two men who were left alone to begin with. He swam over to the rest of the guys who were in a small huddle beside each other in the water, with Evan swimming right behind him. "Just because I'm prettier than you doesn't mean you have to talk shit about me, okay? Okay." He laughed, joining the guys.

"But I thought we agreed Brian was the pretty one?" Moo asked.

"Not anymore." Brian commented. "Delirious has me beat." After swimming for a few more hours, the sun began to set on the horizon, and the group of boys agreed to build a small fire and sit around it to relax. They truly were like family, laughing, and joking around with each other, and everything was great at the moment. Jonathan was thankful for his friends, thankful for everything great in his life at the moment.


	12. Gross

The fire was the only source of light they had as they sat around by the lake. The stars had finally shown themselves, and the night air was chilly. But the boys didn't want to go home just yet. The liked the lingering feeling of the night, liked the cold air, and the heat from the fire. It was something that they didn't get to feel very often, so they were definitely going to take advantage of it now. All of them were glad that Jonathan had decided to take them swimming, to share the secret spot that he and Luke had found many years ago.

And when they did finally go back to Jonathan's house, the older man found himself cooking dinner for his friends while they sat in the living room playing his xbox, watching television, or just goofing around waiting for the food to get done. Like always though, Evan never left Delirious' side. He sat at the kitchen counter watching his best friend cook dinner. "You sure you don't need any help, Jon?" The younger man asked, chin resting atop his hand, his dark eyes following the older man as he went back and forth all around the kitchen. It was definitely entertaining to see how much time and effort Jonathan put into his meals, and Evan admired that about him. He was dedicated, that was for sure. "I mean, I can't cook for shit, but I can do something...?" He continued to say, causing Jon to laugh.

He shook his head, "Nah, that's okay, food's almost done anyway."

"Where'd you learn to cook like that anyway?" Evan inquired.

Jonathan shrugged, "Hidden talent I guess... Nobody ever really taught me, I just sort of picked it up."

"That's pretty cool though." Evan replied, a smile gracing him.

"Maybe I can teach you how to make a few things?" Jonathan offered, causing Evan to nod. The older man then opened up the oven, pulling out a pan, and sat it on the counter. "Boys! Food's done!" He yelled into the living room. It was always funny when somebody mentioned food around the guys, because no matter what time of day it was, they were always hungry. So, Jonathan readied the plates, and all ten of them gathered at the table to eat for the second time that day. Dinner was full of jokes, loud obnoxious laughter, and plenty of teasing. But Delirious really hadn't expected anything less from them. "I can't believe I have to spend six more days looking at you fuckers." He joked while they were eating.

"Oh shut up." Moo retorted, "You know you love us."

"Yes, _us_..." Mini continued, "But not Daithi."

"Hey!" Nogla protested. "He so does love me!"

"You know... I'm not sure if I do Nogla." Delirious joked with the Irishman.

"Stop lying to me, I know you love me." He whined playfully.

When dinner was done and over with, and everyone was finished eating, Lui volunteered to do the dishes, and Nogla offered to help as well. They might have been assholes at dinner, but at least they offered to clean up afterwards. That was another reason Jonathan loved his friends, and were thankful for them. As for the rest of the guys, they voted on watching a movie in the living room. All of them barely even fit on Jonathan's two tiny couches, but somehow, they managed, all smashed together and what not. "You're fucking sitting on me!" Tyler screamed.

"Move your ass!"

"I'm trying, fuck!"

Delirious, however, decided to opt out on the movie for tonight, and go back to his room to edit some videos. The guys didn't mind at all, which was a good thing. After all, it had been a few days since he'd posted a video to his channel, and he knew that it needed to be done. He didn't want people to get worried about him. "I'll see you guys in the morning." He bid them goodnight, before disappearing down the hall and into his bedroom. When he got there though, all motivation to edit was lost, and Jonathan didn't feel like doing anything.

Not even twenty minutes into the movie, Luke couldn't help but to notice that Evan would look in the direction of Jonathan's bedroom every few minutes. He knew the asian was trying to make it subtle, but he was pretty terrible at that. It was obvious that he was desperate to be alone with the man. So, Cartoonz nudged Brian, who was sitting next to him, and then gestured to Evan, as if telling him to say something. Brian nodded, taking the hint already. It was time to put their alone time plan into action. "Hey, uh, Evan... You should go help him." Brian spoke up, talking about Delirious, and pointing to the hallway where his bedroom was located.

"Huh?" Evan inquired, turning to look at his friend.

"Go help Delirious." He spoke once more. "You know you want to."

Vanoss stood up from the couch, as if he was waiting for someone to tell him to go back there. "Are you guys sure?" He asked, looking at all of his friends who were smushed on the two couches together. He didn't want to ditch his friends, but he also didn't want to leave Jonathan alone all night in his room editing videos. It was clear where he wanted to be, and it was with Jon. He was only here for six more days, and goddamn it, he was going to make those six days count for something. He wanted to make memories with Jonathan, wanted to have deep conversations with him, and just laugh.

"Oh yeah," Nearly all of them answered.

"He likes you better than us anyway." Droid laughed.

Evan grinned, "Okay, I'll see you guys in the morning." He then bid his friends goodnight as well, and headed back into the hallway to the door that belonged to Jonathan's room. He knocked, hesitantly, and quietly, and when he heard Jonathan yell for him to come in, he twisted the doorknob and pushed the door open slightly so he could poke his head in. "Need some company?" He inquired, as his eyes searched the dark room for Jonathan. He found him, eventually, laying in the bed on his back, hands behind his bed, and staring up at the dark ceiling.

Jonathan turned and looked at Evan who was partially in the room, "If you want." Of course, how could he decline company from his best friend? He'd never say no to him in a million years. And he knew it was only a matter of time before Evan came back to join him anyway. Like he noticed before, they were inseparable from each other, and it was easy to see why. The undeniable chemistry lingered between them, and it was unexplainable.

Evan shut the door behind him, and joined Jonathan in the bed, laying beside him, mimicking his position with his hands behind his head, and staring up at the ceiling. "Thought you were supposed to be editing videos?" Evan questioned, turning his head slightly so he could smile at Jonathan. At least, that's what he said he was going to do, and yet, here he was, laying in the dark staring up at the ceiling, searching for answers to questions he knew he would never find. It was a never ending cycle, really, him overthinking everything that crossed his mind. And being around Evan only made that ten times worse. It made him question and doubt everything in his being.

"I just got to thinking, you know?" He answered, shrugging slightly. Which was partially the truth.

"About?"

The older man sighed, "A lot of shit."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Evan asked, rolling over and facing the older man as he propped his head up on his elbow. Another deep breath escaped Jonathan, and he couldn't help but to close his eyes and swallow hard. He wished he could talk about it. He wished he'd break down right then and there in that moment and just tell Evan that he loved him, and that he was _in love_ with him, and never wanted to be with anybody else but him. But he couldn't. He couldn't bring himself to speak those unspeakable words. Because they were words that could change his life forever. The fear of rejection lingered deep in his gut, and he couldn't live with that. It would ruin everything if Evan didn't feel the same. Jonathan just shook his head, because he couldn't find words at the moment. "Okay," Evan nodded, "Well in that case then, I have a confession." He replied.

"What is it?" Jon answered nonchalantly.

Evan laughed, "I wasn't really asleep last night when you carried me in."

Jonathan's heart nearly stopped before he was able to play it off, "What?" He nearly yelled, giggling. "So you made me carry you in anyway?" He continued to laugh. But, if he wasn't really asleep, that also meant that Evan heard that Jonathan was about to confess. And there was no doubt in his mind that he was probably still curious and wondering just what in the world he was going to say. He prayed deep down that he wouldn't bring it up. He didn't want to have to explain himself. But, a part of him also wished he did. Then he'd be forced to talk about it; forced to face his problems like he never was before.

The asian man laughed as well, "Yeah, sorry. I know I'm probably heavy."

"Why'd you lie about being asleep?" Jonathan asked, honestly curious.

This time it was Evan's turn to sigh, and he turned and laid back on his back, not able to look Jonathan in those baby blues he had for eyes. But, he wasn't going to lie to the older man. "I don't get much sleep, right?" He began, "But after that night on the couch with you... It was the best night's rest I'd had in a long time, and I don't know why. But I figured I'd pretend to be asleep so you'd stay with me, I was too embarrassed to ask you straight up if you wanted to sleep with me... And god, now that I'm saying this out loud I realize how fucking dumb it was." He rambled, shaking his head, and then gave a laugh.

"It's not dumb." Delirious quickly responded. "And you don't have to be embarrassed about it, if you want me to sleep with you, all you have to do is ask." He couldn't help but to laugh at his words. Of course, they couldn't be mature about a situation like this, and soon, both he and Evan were giggling uncontrollably, unable to stop their bouts of loud laughter.

"Good to know." Evan replied, grinning.

"Want to play grand theft auto?"

"Yeah." Both of the boys knew that sleep wasn't going to come any time soon, so Delirious hooked up the rest of his gaming stuff so that he and Evan could play together. This was always something that the both of them enjoyed, and it could easily take their mind off of things in a heartbeat. When things got too tough, they relied on video games to get them through it, and this was just an example of this. Meanwhile, back in the living room, the other guys couldn't help but to let curiosity get the best of them.

"What do you think they're doing in there?" Marcel asked.

"Fucking, probably." Tyler replied, trying not to laugh.

"Gross." Lui shook his head, "Don't talk about that."


	13. Everyone Can See It

Evan loved the way Jonathan slept. There was something about the way he laid all curled up on his side, hands wrapped around his pillow, lips slightly parted as he inhaled and exhaled each breath he took. He snored softly, and every now and again, a whimper or incoherent mumbling would escape him, and all Evan could do was smile. Everything about this man gave him such life, and he couldn't believe that he'd already laid here and watched him sleep for over two hours. The clock read three in the morning, and Jonathan was sleeping like a baby. After they had finished playing their game of grand theft auto earlier, the older man was getting sleepy.

"Want me to stay with you?" Evan had asked him.

"Please?" Jonathan had managed to answer, and that was all it took for them to get into the bed together and lie beside each other. They talked sleepily of life and video games, and the future, all the while Evan played in Jonathan's hair, making the older man drift in and out of sleep until he was finally in a comatose state. Vanoss found himself soaking in Jonathan like he would the sun; he memorized everything on that boy's body. From his long eyelashes, to the freckles and beauty marks that were peppered and splayed about on his upper back and shoulders, and the subtle scars that decorated him as well. He realized that no matter how long he looked at Jonathan, he'd never get enough.

There would always be more of him to see, more of him to talk about, more of him to get to know. He loved that man more than he loved himself, and he knew if he didn't do something about it these next five days he was here with him, he'd regret it. He couldn't go back to Canada knowing that the feelings between he and Delirious were left unsettled. Jonathan made him happy, made him feel like he could be himself, and if he left here knowing that a secure relationship wasn't established, he was sure that he'd probably die, or combust, or even a combination of the two.

If Evan was being honest with himself, he didn't want to leave. He never wanted to leave North Carolina, he never wanted to leave Jonathan's side. As long as he got to be with the older man, that was all that mattered, right? Nothing else in the whole world did. Evan searched his mind for answers to the questions he had. When should he confess to his best friend? Should he even confess? Should he wait for Jonathan to say something first? Again, here he was, overthinking and overanalyzing every single situation ever. Did Jon even like other guys? Did he even have feelings for Evan? The asian man couldn't stop questioning himself.

But the moment his dark eyes landed on the sleeping boy next to him, he was content, he was home, and nothing else ever even mattered. He was here, Jonathan was here, and they were both happy. A sigh escaped him, why was he so scared to admit that he was in love? Why was he always afraid of falling for someone? He wanted nothing but to be with the older man, but something inside of him always stopped him; every single time. Despite his internal struggles, he knew deep down that Jonathan had to be his. He was the man for him.

When exhaustion finally decided to dwell in on his body, Evan turned over and pulled the blankets up farther on his body. It was time for him to get another great night's sleep by sleeping next to Jonathan. He pushed all other thoughts out of his head, and just focused on the man that lay in front of him. Goddamn he was beautiful, and he had to fight the urge to kiss his sleeping lips right then and there. _It would be soon,_ he decided right then and there, because he couldn't take playing this game much longer. He couldn't face Jonathan taunting him at every waking moment, he couldn't keep making himself fight the urge to be with the man. The sooner the words left his mouth, the sooner he'd be happier with all of this.

Morning came quickly, and when Delirious woke, he felt a pair of strong arms wrapped around him. _Evan._ That was his first thought, and a sleepy smile graced his lips. His arms felt so good, so right as they enveloped him, and he decided right then and there that he liked waking up like this. Evan's breath in his hair, his body generating warmth between them two. Jonathan didn't want to leave his bed, and he wasn't going to... That is, until there was a soft knock at his door. The older man maneuvered his way out of Evan's arms, and then out of the bed, and shuffled to the door as he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.

He opened the door, only slightly, to reveal Luke. "I'm, uh, not interrupting anything? Am I?" He inquired.

Jonathan shook his head, before stepping out into the hallway and shutting the door behind him. He didn't want Luke to wake up Vanoss. His best friend desperately needed his sleep, and he knew that. "No, what's up?" He asked, wondering why Luke was up and knocking at his bedroom door in the early morning. Usually, he'd still be asleep.

"Did you tell him?" Luke questioned.

"Tell him what?"

"That you're fucking head over heels in love with him!?" Luke raised his voice if only slightly.

Delirious shook his head, "No..." He trailed off, "You know, that's not really something you can just come out and say to somebody." And he was right. Hell, he was trying to emotionally and mentally prepare himself for this process. Every fiber in his being wanted to shout the confession from the rooftops, but there was this small part of him, that insecurity, that fear, that was holding him back from doing so. "Luke, you should know more than anyone how hard this is for me." He trailed off, "I can't even think about it without getting all anxious and shit. I want _him_ to do it... I want it so bad." He continued to ramble, that familiar nervous feeling beginning to churn in his stomach already.

"He likes you, you know." Luke stated.

"How the fuck would you know?"

Cartoonz laughed, "Goddamn Jonathan, are you really that oblivious to everything?" He continued to laugh and shake his head, "Everyone can see it, for fuck's sake, y'all slept in the _same_ bed!" He threw his hands in the air frustrated. "Somebody needs to grow some balls, and I think it should be you." It was pointless, seeing the two dance around this subject so carefully when the two were obviously falling for each other slowly. Luke wanted somebody to say something, he was sick of seeing it flaunted in his face, and then falling flat. "Because in five days, when he leaves," He gestured into the bedroom where Evan still slept, "I'm gonna be the one that has to deal with your shit." He continued.

"I know..." Jonathan trailed off, and ran a hand through his hair. Luke had always been the one there for him, always the good friend, the person who picked up the pieces when they fell down. Time and time again, every time Delirious came crashing down, he was right there waiting to help. And he didn't want Jon to get hurt this time, yet again, and that's why he was being so demanding, and so advising towards the older man. Not confessing to Evan was a risk that could not be taken. He _had_ to confess, he absolutely had to. "I'll do something, I promise." And he vowed to himself right then and there that he'd make plans for he and Evan to be alone so they could talk and finally get this all done and over with. Hopefully, just hopefully things would work out in his favor.

It was still pretty early, and Luke decided to head back over to his place to get cleaned up and a change of clothes. And Jonathan had decided to get a shower as well while Evan and the other guys were still sleeping. It was sure to be a matter of time before one of them were up and yelling that they were hungry or some other shit like that. And a shower was just was Jonathan needed to help clear his cluttered mind, and figure out just what he was going to plan for he and Evan. Softly, he hummed while he showered, and he just let himself get lost in the abyss of what was his mesh of a headspace.

Meanwhile, Vanoss was finally stirring, and when he opened his eyes to see that the other side of the bed was empty, a frown crossed his lips. He had fallen asleep latching onto Delirious, and he honestly didn't want it any other way. The man was such a teddy bear, it was almost funny. But now, he was gone, at least, he wasn't in the room. Evan sat up and rubbed his eyes, and stretched his stiff muscles. That's when he heard a faint sound coming from the bathroom that was across the hall from Jonathan's bedroom. The sound was soft hums at first, and then as he got closer, he could barely make out words. It was Jonathan's voice, there was no doubt about that, and the sound of running water.

 _He was singing in the shower._

And Evan could feel his whole body turn to mush right then and there as he stood outside the bathroom door and listened to Delirious softly sing incoherent verses and phrases. He learned more and more about that man with each day that passed. Hell, he had to force himself to leave. It'd be pretty awkward if Jonathan came out of the bathroom and saw Evan standing there. So the asian man headed to the kitchen, where Marcel, Droid, and Tyler were sitting at the counter, drinking coffee for the early morning hours. "Morning Evan." Droid greeted.

"Morning." Evan replied as he opened the fridge to get some orange juice.

Tyler tried to conceal a laugh, "How'd you... _Sleep_?" He inquired, but emphasis on his final word.

Evan looked at him curiously, as if he didn't get a joke or something. "Uh, fine?" He answered, sipping the orange juice.

"Delirious up yet?" Marcel questioned.

Vanoss nodded, "Yeah, in the shower."

"Good, because I'm ready for some more bomb ass breakfast." He joked, causing Evan to laugh in return. One by one, the other guys began to wake up as well, and Luke finally came back from his own house. That's when Jonathan finally got out of the shower. And the older man had to admit that he did feel better once he was cleaned up and was able to think everything through. All his worries and troubles were finally out of his head, at least for now. But he knew better, he knew they always returned at nighttime when he was trying to sleep.

He cooked breakfast once more, realizing that this was beginning to become something of a routine, and once everyone was fed and satisfied, they sat in the living room of the house watching something random on the television. "Alright, so what are we doing today?" Luke inquired, interrupting everyone. "Any plans?" He continued, looking over at Jonathan who just shrugged.

"Let's kill Nogla." Lui suggested, laughing.

"You know," Nogla yelled, "As fun as that sounds, how about we don't?"

"It _would_ be fun." Brian added.

"No!" Daithi shouted, causing the other guys to laugh.


	14. A Drink Or Something?

After much debating and arguing, the guys decided to go to bowling, much to Marcel's dismay. The man hated bowling with such a passion, and he did not want to go at all. Mostly because he was bad at it, but he went anyway, complaining about everything like usual. Luckily, there was a small bowling alley nearby, so Jonathan and Luke didn't have to drive far. All the boys loaded up into the two vehicles, and headed there immediately. The bowling alley was relatively empty, well, at least until the guys got there. God knows that they were always hella loud and disruptive wherever they went, but they had fun, and that was all that mattered.

"Who's ready to get their ass kicked?" Droid teased, as they laced up their bowling shoes.

"Please," Moo scoffed, "If anyone is getting their ass kicked, it's you."

"Yeah, you suck at bowling." Tyler joined in.

"Fuck you guys." They bowled for a few hours, and Mini Ladd ended up kicking all of their asses. Who knew he was so damn good at bowling? After they finished their games, they chilled at the bowling alley for a little bit, talking, laughing, sharing jokes and eating the different snacks that were available. And the day was still young, they still had so much time to do so many more things. Cartoonz suggested a video game arcade, not too far from where the bowling alley was, and all the guys seemed to like that idea as well. So they loaded up in the car once more, heading to the arcade.

All the while while Jonathan drove, Luke's words still lingered fresh in his mind. He was right, about everything, and Jonathan hated when the bastard was right. But he had to do something about this, and soon. He had to be able to push all of the fear and nervousness out of his mind, had to get it out of the way so that he'd be able to talk to Evan about these feelings. Would it be tonight? Jonathan had no fucking idea, he hoped not. He still needed more time. He had more time, right? Didn't he? The older man decided he'd use that time to his advantage. In the mean time, he'd attempt to get as close to Vanoss as he possibly could. Not that they weren't close already, but the closer, the better, and that's what he concluded.

The arcade glowed with neon lights, and the chimes and bells of all varieties of video games played in the background. Now this was Jonathan's kind of place to be. As a kid, he loved wasting away his days at the arcade, and now, he'd get to do it as an adult too, surrounded by all the people who cared about him. But despite all the loud noises, all the games, the guys yelling at him trying to grab his attention, his eyes never left Evan. They couldn't. No matter how hard he tried to distract himself from the asian man, he absolutely couldn't fucking do it. He was enticed, too infatuated, and he hated it at the moment. He wished he could think about anything else but him, but it was impossible.

He made his rounds around the arcade, and decided on a shooting game. Maybe killing things would help take his mind off of everything, it usually worked other times he did it. Jonathan got lost in the game, fully concentrating on whatever flashed across the screen. And for the time being, he felt numb, and that was all he ever wanted to feel right now. He didn't want to keep thinking about Evan's face, or his hair, or the way he smelled, because if he did, he might implode, and he didn't want that, at least not yet.

The rest of the guys were about to go play a game of laser tag, and that's when Vanoss noticed that Jonathan was nowhere to be found. Usually when they went places, they stuck together, but the older man was gone. Evan looked around, and that's when he spotted him sitting in the corner by himself, enveloped in his current game. He had this cute look of concentration with a mix of frustration written on his face, his lower lip jutted out only slightly in a simple pout. _Goddamn, did he always look like that when he played video games?_ Vanoss couldn't peel his dark eyes away from him. And another part of him wondered why he was off all by himself, and not wanting to play laser tag. Who didn't like laser tag?

"You coming, Evan?" Lui inquired, pulling the other man out of his Delirious centered thoughts.

He turned to look back at Lui, and shook his head. "Nah, you guys go ahead, I'm gonna go hang with Del... Uh, Jonathan." He corrected himself with a sheepish smile. Calling him Delirious just didn't feel right anymore, not after everything they've been through these past few days. He was Jonathan now, the sweet, shy, insecure, yet fun loving boy that Vanoss had come to know and love. And he always would be Jonathan.

Lui shrugged, "Alright, suit yourself." He said before he followed the other guys into a separate room made for the laser tag. Vanoss sighed, attempting to compose himself before going over to approach his best friend. He had to admit, ever since Jonathan's face came into his life a mere few days ago, his whole world had been turned upside down, his gravity had been re centered, switched to a different focus point. Being this close to someone, feeling connected to another person, it was a completely foreign feeling, and if the younger man was being honest with himself, it scared the shit out of him. How did other people deal with this? How did they manage to live with these feelings?

Fuck, every time Evan even looked at Jonathan he felt like puking. Every time those blue eyes locked onto him, the butterflies attacked him. They prodded and probed his stomach until he felt completely unsure and giddy. His lungs and heart felt like electric currents were running through them, his palms, they sweated with a slight fever that could only come from sheer infatuation alone. Delirious had that much power over him, and Evan hoped that the older man felt at least a fraction of what he felt when they were around each other. Then he'd know for sure that this was the real deal. This was love, this was something bigger and beyond the both of them, and again, it terrified him like no other.

Never in his life did he imagine falling in love, let alone falling in love with somebody like Jonathan. He was literally blessed to have a person that beautiful, inside and outside, in his life. All these thoughts were only making him more anxious, more scared. Evan's heart was beating a mile a minute as he began to walk over to Jon, who was still in the corner playing a game by himself. The first thing he noticed when he finally approached him, was that his hands were shaking. They were trembling slightly as they fumbled with the game controller. "Hey." Evan's voice was soft, too soft for an arcade, but the soothing sound brought Jonathan back to the harsh reality he was in.

"Hey." Jonathan replied as he never took his eyes off his game.

He felt Evan sit down beside him, but he never looked at him, and that's when he felt his gentle yet calloused hands running down his arm, until they rested on his hands, which were still shaking and gripping the controller. Jonathan's mind instantly cleared when he felt Evan's touch, and a sigh escaped his lips as he paused his game. "You're shaking." Evan stated the obvious. "And you've been quiet today..." He noticed this earlier, at the bowling alley, in the car ride over to the arcade... Jonathan never spoke a single word. "Are you okay?" He questioned, his eyebrows mingling together on his forehead in a look of concern. "You know you can talk to me Jon, you can tell me anything." The younger man continued to speak, giving his best friend's hands a squeeze.

Another sigh, "I've just been thinking a lot." Which was partially the truth.

"You want to talk about it?" Evan inquired, wishing Jonathan would just _look_ at him with those oceans he had for eyes. One look into those eyes, and he'd be able to know everything he needed. But the other man wouldn't, and that's how Evan knew that something was wrong. Delirious was never one to open up about things, never one to really share his feelings, never one to vent and take out all his frustrations. But he was one that laid in the bed, restless, thinking about everything and nothing at the same time. All the what ifs, all the potential situations, circumstances, and consequences. His mind was a battleground, that was for sure, and he knew that deep down, it was both a blessing and a curse.

He shook his head, "No."

"Okay." Evan nodded, "That's okay..." He then gestured to the other controller, "Mind if I play with you?" He waited patiently for an answer, but Jonathan only nodded. So he picked it up, joined the game, and Jonathan unpaused it. They played together, in mostly silence, Evan would laugh about something occasionally, but for the most part, they didn't need to talk. And even if they did, Delirious didn't know what the fuck to say. The only thing he wanted right now was the presence of Evan, and he was thankful that he had it, and he was thankful that the asian man understood just what he needed. He didn't try to pry him open, didn't try to fix him, he just let him be content in silence.

When the game was finished, the other guys were still playing their game of laser tag. And that's when Jonathan put down his controller, and he finally turned to look at Evan. Those blue eyes held mystery, and Evan wondered just what was going on behind them. "You wanna go get a drink or something?" Jonathan asked. "I could really fucking use one right now." He continued. Alcohol would loosen him up. It would make him feel light and free, and that's just how he wanted to feel right now. And he wanted to feel that way with Evan. Who knew? With the liquid courage in his system, he might actually be able to grow some balls and do something about his current predicament. At least, he hoped he could.

"Yeah." Evan answered, "You sure?"

Jonathan nodded, grabbed Evan's hand and stood up, "Let's go." He sent a quick text to Cartoonz explaining that he and Evan were heading to a shitty bar to get drunk off their asses, and they were taking a cab so that somebody else could drive Jonathan's car home so there was enough room for everyone and what not. He felt bad for leaving the other guys there with Luke, especially since they came to visit him, not his friend, but still... It had been a long time since Jonathan had been drunk, and he desperately needed this right now. With everything going on in his head right now, getting absolutely shitfaced was a must. And he didn't want to do it with anyone else but Evan. Hell, maybe if he got Evan drunk enough, the younger man might get some liquid courage of his own.

As soon as they called their cab and got inside it, Luke had texted Jonathan back with a simple four words. _Don't do anything stupid._

Jonathan scoffed as he typed, _fuck off._ Luke was the one pressuring him to finally do something all along, and now, he was, so he needed to mind his own damn business. Delirious may have not had had a full blown out elaborate plan, but his was going to win over Evan's heart somehow, and he knew he didn't have to be sober to do it. He was tired of feeling so shitty, tired of feeling like this thing between him and his best friend wasn't going to happen, tired of feeling so goddamn insecure about everything.


	15. I'm Better Now

The streets were busy at night, at least, that was what Evan had concluded from the cab ride. Who knew North Carolina had such a night life about it? Jonathan had never mentioned anything of the sorts before, but after all, he wasn't really the type to go out much either. Now though, Evan was experiencing it at first hand. All the traffic and bright lights and people beckoned to him, and he couldn't peel his eyes away from that tinted window in the cab.

He could feel his nerves settling within him, deep in his belly, but that was the norm for him now. Whenever he was around Jonathan, he expected the nerves, in fact, sometimes he even welcomed them with open arms. He had grown accustomed to them being in his life whenever he was around his best friend like this. It was one of the many side effects of infatuation.

And as for Jonathan, he was too quiet. He sat there in the back seat of that cab, next to Vanoss, and drummed his nimble fingers on his lap. They made a light tapping sound against the fabric of his jeans, and that was the only sound that filled the empty air. They were nearing the bar, which was a good thing. The sooner he was able to consume alcohol, the better he would feel; the number he would feel. And that was just what he needed right now. He wanted to say something to break the silence, to reassure to Evan that he really was okay, but what was the point? Evan could see past his façade; hell, that man would read through it each time. He knew Jonathan like that back of his own hand, so conversation wouldn't help in even the slightest way.

So instead of words, Delirious reached between them, and locked their fingers together for the millionth time since they'd actually met in person. Holding hands with Evan was something that Jonathan thought he'd never get tired of. No matter how many times their flesh touched there, it would still generate the same warm feeling each time, and it would still feel like the first time it did in the ice skating rink.

Words were not needed at the moment, in fact, both of them men seemed slightly content with just holding hands, so it would suffice for now. They seemed to understand each other from the simple touch of skin on skin. Evan merely looked over and gave a quick smile, hoping it would help lighten up Jonathan's intense mood. It seemed to work for the time being, because the older man smiled back at him, only for just a minute or so.

A few moments later, they arrived at the front door of the bar. The cab pulled up, and Delirious paid the small fair before getting out of the car. Evan followed suit, walking behind the older man with hesitant steps. The bar had a sultry aura to it when they walked inside, and it was not how Jonathan remembered it. The atmosphere was smoky, and the smell of old cigars lingered in the air. This place had sure aged, and it wasn't a good thing either. But none of that mattered as the two boys walked hand in hand to a small booth that Jon had picked out for them near the back of the bar. It was secluded and private so they'd be able to talk and have time to themselves. Interruption couldn't happen right now, and both of them knew that, whether they were aware of it of not.

Music played softly in the background, neither man able to make out what it was, as Jonathan leaned forward to speak to Evan. "What are you drinking?" He asked, his voice sounding foreign even to himself. This was not how this moment was supposed to go. He was too tense, too nervous, too busy overthinking every single little situation. He knew that Evan could sense it as well, and he didn't want the younger man catching on.

The asian man merely shrugged, "I'll have what you're having." He replied, and Jon nodded, and headed up to the bar to order their drinks. It wasn't too crowded, but still, there were enough people in the bar to make Jonathan feel a little uncomfortable. His agoraphobia laid in the back of his mind, untouched for now, but he knew that that could change at any given moment. He leaned on the bar, waiting for the generic bartender to come over and assist him. Meanwhile, Evan watched him; watched him walk up to the bar, watched him lean on the counter, and watched him stick his ass out ever so slightly as he leaned forward. His dark eyes scanned his best friend's body, and a quick exhale of air left his body. Goddamn, the things Jonathan could do to him without even trying.

He needed strength tonight, because despite everything he felt in his body towards Jonathan, everything he felt inside him, the fear, the hesitation, the terror of actually loving and being with someone _like that..._ He knew it would all go away the second alcohol entered his body. He didn't want to do or say anything dumb, or do anything he might regret when he was sober. But he also didn't want to decline Jonathan's offer to drink. After all, he knew just how much the older man needed to loosen up right now. He knew how much the older man needed to taste the sickly sweet taste of alcohol on his tongue. Evan wouldn't deny him of the poison, because he desperately needed to relax too.

Finally, the bartender began to make his way over to Delirious. "What will it be?" He inquired, and Jonathan ordered a few shots for himself first, which he downed right there at the bar. Strong drinks were not really his forte, but he needed something that would work immediately, something that would clear his head and make him feel good. The liquid burned his throat as he swallowed it, but fuck it felt good. It had been way too long since he had consumed this taste. It was the numbing feeling he was looking for after all, so he'd be immune to everything he was feeling; all the overwhelming emotions that lingered in the back of his skull and everywhere else throughout his damned body. After that, he ordered a short for Evan as well, and then a few beers.

"Hope you don't mind the beer." Jonathan said apologetically as he returned to he and Evan's private booth. "I don't really drink the strong stuff." He continued as he sat down. The shots however, were an exception. They had to have at least one while they were drinking to start things off. He placed the beers in front of Evan, as well as the shot. Drunk Evan was something that Jonathan was anticipating. He'd never been around the younger man, or even spoke to him while he was intoxicated. It was new, and it was exciting, and he couldn't wait.

Evan shook his head, "No it's okay. I don't like the strong drinks either." He picked up the shot with a small smile. "Bottoms up," He toasted to Delirious with a small smile, before dumping the sickly sweet liquid down his throat, relishing the unfamiliar burn. He made a weird noise after he swallowed, and placed the shot glass back down onto the table. Now that that was out of the way, they could get to drinking their beers, which would be much more lighter on them. "But seriously," Vanoss broke the silence, turning to make eye contact with Jonathan for what felt like the first time that night. "Are you _really_ okay?" He questioned, "I mean, back at the arcade, you weren't exactly yourself." He continued, picking up his beer, taking a small sip, then putting it back down.

"I'm better now." Jonathan answered, which was partially true. He was feeling a bit better now that the alcohol had entered his system, made him feel all warm inside and what not, and he did feel better now that he was away from everyone else and just surrounded by what was Evan in his little secluded booth. Something about the asian man's mere presence made him feel calm, but also made him feel giddy at the same time. It was a mysterious thing, but Jonathan knew better than to question it. "I just needed to get away for a little bit. I needed to be alone with you... This whole week has just been kinda overwhelming." He admitted, especially with Cartoonz being up his ass every minute of the day.

"Yeah," Evan nodded, "I get what you mean."

"Don't get me wrong, I love spending time with the guys, but it's fucking draining man." He continued, venting to Evan about a few things that had been on his mind as of late. And it was even more draining when you were fighting off feelings for your best friend. That could really take a toll on someone's emotional state, and Jonathan's was already weak at best as is.

"They _can_ be a handful." Evan replied, "But I'm glad you're alright." He continued. He was slightly happy that Delirious had returned to his normal self. "Now," He said, before picking up his beer once more. "Let's get drunk off our asses!" He almost yelled.

Jonathan picked up his beer and toasted it to Evan's, "Let's do it!" He exclaimed in return, through laughter. And they did just that. They drank and drank, laughed so hard they cried, told not so funny jokes, and it just felt so damn good to finally be letting loose. Being able to be loud and obnoxious and just really feel free and not give a shit about anything else going on in the world at the moment. That was one of the reasons why Delirious liked to get drunk in the first place. He liked having his inhibitions lowered, he liked being able to forget about everything in that moment. He let the booze take over, and his mind became a wonderland, a place for fun and drunken thoughts.

"So," Evan slurred, the beer clearly taking a toll on his body. He was a man who could handle his liquor, but after six or seven beers, he was done for. Plus, a lot of time had passed since the two boys had began their little drinking rendezvous. "The bar," He gestured around him, the old bar looking even older with just how drunk they got. He was sure there was a story behind it all, and he wanted to know. He wanted to know everything there was to know about Jonathan. He wanted to know why the older man loved this town so much.

"What about it?" Delirious asked with a grin.

"How in the fuck did you find this place?" The younger man questioned out of curiosity.

Jonathan laughed, "Luke and I came here on my twenty first birthday... And we got so shitfaced the bartender told us to get the hell out and never come back." He laughed that goofy laugh of his, and it sounded even goofier when he was drunk. But it was infectious, and it caused Evan to laugh as well. "It was a shitty bar then, and it's s _till_ a shitty bar." He slurred, picking up the beer and drinking it again, taking large gulps of the fizzing liquid. They had gone through so many, it was a miracle the bartender was still even letting them order drinks. Maybe it was because the two weren't bothering anybody. They were lost in their own little world, lost in each other, and to an outside eye, they might have looked like lovers by the way they looked at each other.


	16. Tell Me To Stop

It was nearing midnight when the guys finally finished up their long game of laser tag. Marcel and Brian had come out victorious, with the most wins, and well, Mini Ladd had come out with an almost black eye. "I can't believe you fucking punched me in the fucking face, Tyler! Goddamn it!" He yelled as they came out of the laser tag room. His face was really sore at the moment, and he couldn't help but to keep glaring over at Wildcat who had a smug fucking smile on his face. He couldn't tell if the man had done it on purpose or not. The only thing he knew was that it came out of nowhere.

"I told you it was an accident!" He yelled back.

"I'm never playing laser tag with ye fucks ever again." Nogla said as they headed back into the main game room of the arcade.

"Are you mad because you lost, Nogla?" Lui teased.

"Ah, fuck off Lui." Daithi muttered in reply.

It was quiet between the eight of them while they walked around, looking for another game to play with each other. It was always a love/hate relationship with those boys, and they wouldn't have it any other way. "Hey guys?" Marcel questioned, "Where the fuck are Delirious and Evan?" He asked as he looked around and didn't see them. That was the first time they had noticed they were actually gone. Of course, they were two grown men, but still, it was unlike them to just leave without saying anything to anybody.

"They left." Cartoonz answered, him being the only one knowing where they went.

"Oh fuck! Do you think our plan worked?" Craig asked excitedly. "Operation alone time has been a success."

Meanwhile, Evan and Jonathan were still at the shitty bar. "Hey," Evan interrupted the laughter between him and his best friend with his soft voice as he looked over to the older man who was still sitting beside him. Goddamn, he was so drunk... His eyes were glassy, and his cheeks were flushed with life, brunette hair all disheveled and what not, and Evan thought that he absolutely couldn't look anymore beautiful than he did in this moment right here. "You have pretty eyes." He confessed, staring deep down into the pools of liquid blues. Being drunk really didn't help the situation in the slightest at the moment, or did it?

"You say that all the time." Delirious sighed with a sloppy, drunk smile on his face.

"I do?" Vanoss inquired.

Jonathan nodded, "Yep."

"It's true though," Evan breathed out in reply, still staring into those depths of ocean blue. It was silence between the two then, the only noise was the chatter of the bar around them. People had started to clear out though, so it felt nearly empty, but that's only because it was getting rather late. Jonathan could feel himself inching closer and closer to his best friend until they were nearly centimeters apart. He was so attractive at the moment... Hell, he was so attractive at any moment. It didn't matter when, didn't matter where, Evan would always be nothing less of perfect. At least, to Jonathan he wouldn't be. The alcohol running through Delirious' veins was enough to give him all the liquid courage he needed at the moment, and more. It made his thoughts and actions more susceptible, made him more ballsy, and he liked this feeling.

"Your eyes aren't so bad either." He grinned, feeling Evan's hot breath fan across his face. God, it was enough to make him squirm right there in their little booth. They were so fucking close to each other it was almost unbearable. Exchanging each other's breaths for oxygen supply felt like everything and anything they needed right now at the moment. The air was too hot, their clothes were too tight... Nothing felt comfortable, nothing felt right until they looked into each other's eyes. One look, blue meeting brown, and they were home, they were always where they were meant to be. Evan did nothing but laugh, his breath smelling like the beer that they had drank earlier. " _Ev_ ," Jonathan exhaled in a whisper, his eyes darting down to his lips that were slightly parted.

The atmosphere had changed just like _that,_ and both of them felt like they were suffocating as they breathed in each other's air supply. "Yeah?" Vanoss inquired, eyes half lidded as he too stared at Jonathan's lips. The lips he'd dreamt about kissing since his plane landed here in North Carolina a mere four days ago. The lips that seemed to haunt his dreams every night, the lips that belonged to his best friend, the lips that produced that goddamn infectious laughter. Those were the lips that Evan wanted to feel. He wanted to know every inch of them, every crease and crevice, he wanted them like no other.

"Oh _come on_!" Brian begged, "You have to tell us where they went!"

"Please?" Mini Ladd added, giving Luke the pouty lip.

"I'm not!" Cartoonz yelled at them as he tried to play a shooting game back at the arcade. The guys wouldn't leave him alone about this whole Evan and Jonathan situation. "Just leave them be! They're fine." He insisted, hoping that would be enough to get the guys off his back for a moment. They were like pestering children, and they just wouldn't shut the fuck up.

"Fine." Tyler retorted, "You don't have to be a dick about it though."

 _"Tell me to stop."_ Jonathan continued, sounding like he was nearly out of breath. This was it. He was really going to do it. He was taking Luke's advice finally and growing some balls. He was going to fucking finally do something about his feelings for Evan; his crush if you will. Infatuation, love, or whatever the fuck it was, he was acting on it now, and he didn't give a shit if he was drunk while doing it. Evan was hella drunk too, so that hand to count for something as well, right? It was now or never, and he chose now. Oh, he chose now, with Evan sitting there, breathing all heavy, his dark eyes even darker as he stared down into Jonathan's eyes. For fuck's sake it was too much to bear.

"No." Evan breathed, "I've waited too long for this to happen." He concluded, and closed the few inches between them to seal their lips together in a righteous kiss. This was it, it was finally happening, and it felt so damn good, _his lips_ felt so damn good. And Jonathan concluded right then and there that he never wanted to kiss anyone but Vanoss ever again. They moved together in synchronization so well, and if Jon was being honest with himself, it was everything he could have imagined and more. Eventually, he took the lead, his hands finding Evan's torso, and his tongue sweeping across the younger man's bottom lip, begging for entrance. Evan let him in without hesitation, and the only thing that crossed his mind was just how good of a kisser Jonathan actually was.

When they pulled away from each other, both of them were gasping for breath, and Jonathan's cheeks were a whole other darker shade of red if that were even possible at the moment. "Evan..." The older man trailed off, his mind completely blank and fuzzy. He felt warm though, an indescribable warmth rushed through him, and he wasn't sure if it was from the beer or the kiss. He couldn't fucking believe it, he couldn't believe he just kissed his best friend, the man he was in love with for three goddamn years, the man who he wanted all of right there, right now.

The asian man shook his head, "Don't stop now." He insisted, feeling that familiar feeling of butterflies rushing and attacking his already weak and drunk stomach. One kiss just simply wasn't enough for him right now. He needed to feel those beautiful red lips on his own again. He craved Jonathan like no other, and he needed the man like he needed air to breathe. He wanted to feel his lungs with Jonathan's air, and then and only then would he be content. Why did it take them so long to finally act on this when it felt so right? And why did they have to be drunk to do it? To finally take action and just finally get lost in each other.

"What do you think they're doing right now?" Nogla asked as he sat beside Lui at one of the many tables in the arcade.

"Do you really want me to answer that, Nogla?" Lui retorted.

"Good point." Daithi replied, sipping his soda that he had bought earlier.

"Where do you think they are though, really?" Droid asked, "I mean, knowing Delirious, they're probably not far."

"I'm just glad our plan worked." Tyler admitted, feeling a bit excited for his two best friends.

This time, Jonathan took it upon himself to cradle Evan's face in his calloused hands, and kiss him again. It felt so natural, so right, and he couldn't believe that it had taken him so long to take action. He was still in shock if he was being honest with himself at the moment. Even if he was drunk and kissing Evan and he knew it wasn't a dream, it still felt like a dream to him. When they separated from another the second time, Evan had the slightest of crooked smiles on his face. Jonathan merely laughed, and wiped a bit of spit off Evan's top lip with his thumb. If he could kiss this well while he was completely intoxicated, he couldn't bear to imagine what he kissed like when he was sober.

"You want to get out of here?" Jonathan had asked, implying much more by just the way his voice sounded. Evan only nodded, and he grabbed Jon's hand and led him stumbling out of the bar. They called another cab, and that's when Delirious felt his phone buzz in his back pocket. He knew it was only a matter of time before somebody called or text to ruin the moment. No surprise there, it was Cartoonz who had sent him a text. It read: _you guys still okay? The others are asking about you... Are you completely shitfaced right now? Should we come home tonight?_ It was too many questions, and Jonathan's mind felt so hazy from the booze and from the goodness of the kisses he'd shared with Evan only moments ago. He didn't know how to answer Luke's questions.

Jonathan thumbed back a slow reply, his fingers slipping every now and again, but eventually he was able to type: _it's fine._

After that, he slipped his phone back into his pocket once more. He wished Luke would just leave him alone for the rest of the night. Hell, he knew the man was only trying to look after him and prevent him from getting himself into shenanigans he wasn't proud of... But honestly, at the moment, Delirious just really didn't care. He felt Vanoss grab his hand and squeeze it tight for some much needed reassurance. It was almost as if they could read each other's minds, some kind of telepathy being linked between them. But both of them knew that this was okay, it was right, and it was true, and it was going to happen. Finally, the cab pulled up to the front of the bar, and the two boys wasted no time in piling inside of it, and heading back to Jonathan's house.


	17. Slow Down

The cab ride back to Jonathan's house felt like an eternity, when in reality, it was only around fifteen minutes long. The two were squirming with anticipation of what was to come, and Jonathan couldn't help but to let his nerves finally creep back into his gut. The events that were about to ensure for the night made his head swim with anxiousness, desire, and overall hesitation. Albeit, the alcohol still lingered in his system, his liquid courage was slowly fading away and was being replaced by apprehensiveness and uncertainty. He had begun to think that the hard part was over, when in reality it had just started. Evan made him feel things he had never felt before, and it scared the shit out of him.

Of course, he wasn't completely and totally unexperienced when it came to things like these. He was a grown man for fuck's sake, and he'd been through a few partners in his lifetime. But none of them compared to Evan, and he knew that they never would. He had never felt for any of them as strongly as he felt for Evan, and hopefully, that right there was a good sign in itself.

A part of Jonathan, a tiny small part of him, was still trying to grasp what was happening. It was blurry and hazy, because of the booze, but clear and collected because he had Evan with him and beside him. It was a sweet paradox that baffled his mind like no other, but it felt so good. These feeling he felt in his heart, in his gut, in his mind, were all feelings he never felt before. He didn't know how to explain them, and a part of him didn't _want_ to explain them. He wanted to let go, get rid of his inhibitions, and enjoy just what was and what would be the indescribable perfection of Evan.

And speaking of Vanoss, the man looked as though he was undressing Jonathan with his dark eyes. All the while, he had all these pent up feelings, and he just couldn't wait to finally get his hands _all over_ Jonathan. He couldn't wait to see just exactly what he _felt_ like, couldn't wait to hear those little breathy whimpers he knew that would escape those plump lips of his. The mere thought of that made Evan shiver with goosebumps running up and down his flesh. Jonathan was a wondrous thing, and he couldn't wait to get lost in the other man's body.

"You sure you want to do this?" Evan inquired, breaking the silence.

Jonathan laughed, "Backing out already?" He teased.

"Nope," Evan replied, snapping his lips. It was too much, the younger man could feel himself heating up and being unable to cool back down. It was absolutely unbearable to have Delirious sitting this close to him and not being able to touch him. Hell, he did have manners though, and albeit they were drunk, they were not about to fuck in the backseat of a cab. Especially not with a creepy cab driver watching their every move.

"Kiss me again." Jonathan interrupted Evan's never ending train of thoughts as he scooted closer to the Asian man in the backseat of that cab. The smell of liquor on his breath became more and more prominent now, and it was terrifyingly intoxicating. But nevertheless, Evan obliged, and smashed his lips to his best friend's in a fit of desire. The kiss was feverish as the soon to be lovers explored one another's mouth for the third time that night. They seemed to get lost in what was each other, because before they knew it, the cab was parked right in front of Jonathan's blue house. And surprisingly, the rest of the guys weren't back yet. The driveway was empty, and that was a good thing because Jonathan and Evan would have the house to themselves for a little while.

Delirious got out of the cab, paid the driver the fee, and stumbled up to his front door with Evan trailing right behind him. Jonathan fumbled around in his pocket for his house key, remembering he gave the car keys to Cartoonz earlier at the arcade so the rest of the boys could get home safe. He then began fumbling with the lock, trying to get the door open, but Evan was beginning to grow impatient. In a swift moment, he had the larger and older man pinned up against the wall of the house, lips at his ear placing firm yet gentle kisses, savoring the taste of what was Jonathan. Evan's name was caught in the back of Jon's throat, and when it tried to escape, it came out sounding like a bit of a low mew more than anything, which aroused Evan to no end.

Eyes half lidded, Jonathan leaned back against the wall, tilting his head up so his lover could gain easy access to his neck. Evan found his pulse beating rapidly beneath the salty flesh, so he enclosed his lips around it, sucking gently to leave a mark. The older man inhaled sharply through his teeth as he felt Evan leaving love bites on his neck. His throat had always been something of a weak spot, and now Evan would know that. Their lips reconnected quickly after that, the younger man wanting to taste Jon's mouth again, and Delirious let his arms wrap around Evan's torso, pulling him close to relish in the heat.

Goddamn, how many nights had Jonathan imagined this moment happening? How many nights had he tried to picture just exactly what Evan's hands and lips felt like? How many nights had he imagined what Evan would _taste_ like? There were too many to count, and he didn't care right now, because it was finally happening. He was going to see and feel all of the man that he was inevitably in love with.

His large hands began making their way up Evan's shirt, feeling the smooth muscles contract underneath as they continued their lip lock. His tanned skin was so warm, and Jonathan couldn't get enough. He felt the younger man's tongue begging for entrance at his lips, and he let him in, their tongues fighting for dominance over each other. He concluded right then and there that he would never get tired of kissing Vanoss, it felt too damn good, too right. And that's when the asian man pulled away from his lover, only to kiss the corner of his mouth, then his cheek, and then the tip of his nose. He left a trail of kisses all over Jonathan's face, and once he was finished covering his face with them, he trailed down his neck, making sure to let his tongue drag across Jon's flesh. The older man squirmed beneath him, and Evan could only smirk as he continued his kisses.

Jonathan retracted his hands from beneath Evan's shirt, and moved them so that he was cradling Evan's arms as they pressed against the wall of the house. The stars were out tonight, he noticed that as Evan continued to plant butterfly kisses all over his neck; it was a beautiful night that was for sure. Suddenly, Delirious felt Evan's nimble hands at the waistband of his jeans, pulling at the zipper. "Evan," His voice was too loud for the quiet night as he brought both of them out of their lust filled thoughts. The younger man stopped his ministrations and looked up into his lover's eyes, pools of blue stunning him if only for just a moment. "Slow down..." Jonathan whispered, his lips curling into a slight smile, before pressing them to Evan's once more.

He wanted to take this slow, wanted to revel in the moment for as long as he possibly could before it was done and over with. So he decided right then and there that he was going to take his time with Evan, really look and appreciate his body for all the perfection that what it was worth. After all, this would be their _first time_ together, and despite the fact they were drunk, Jonathan wanted to make it memorable. He wanted to be able to look back and remember every single thing about this experience. Like how good Evan looked in the moonlight, or how his breath came out in little pants because he was so worked up, or maybe even the fact that his eyes were nearly black because he was so turned on right now. It was all these things and more.

A small chuckle escaped Vanoss' lips, "Sorry." He apologized, glancing up at Jonathan. For a moment, Jon turned away from his lover only to unlock the door so that they could finally get inside the house. When they were inside, they could really let loose, and just feel each other. And they did just that, with Delirious taking the lead this time, towing over Evan so he could press gentle kisses into his forehead, his cheeks, and his lips, until they found his small ears, and he bit down on Evan's earlobe slightly, feeling satisfaction when the smaller man let out a small _mmph_ sound. "Jon... Jonathan." Evan barely managed to get out as he felt the older man sucking on his neck. His hands played at the hem of the older man's shirt, and he wanted it off.

"Yeah?" Delirious mumbled against his skin before pulling away to look him in the eye.

Evan began to lift the shirt, "Let me _look_ at you."

Jonathan only nodded, and helped his lover take off his shirt, pulling it over his head and tossing it on the floor. Sure, Evan had seen him shirtless before, but it felt so different this time. Maybe because this time he knew he was going to get to see all of Jonathan; every single inch of his slightly flushed skin. And that mere thought made him giddy, and even more aroused if that were even possible. His dark eyes scanned Jonathan's bare chest, drinking his torso in, and before he even realized what he was doing, his hands roamed the man's body, letting his dull nails drag across the flesh, causing small goosebumps to rise on Jon's skin.

He was at the perfect height to place chaste kisses on his chest, so he did just that, letting his wet lips leave trails of saliva on the older man's hot flesh. "Fuck, Evan..." Jonathan managed to get out, closing his eyes, trying to savor the feeling of his lover's mouth on his body. The room was too hot; hell, they were hot all over, and this was only the beginning. Evan reached to take his own shirt off as well, deciding he had entirely too many clothes on at the moment, and he watched as Jon's eyes became even cloudier than they already were. His blue orbs looked like there were thunderstorms in them, and he knew it was because of the lust they shared between them.

Without thinking, Jonathan let his hands travel to Evan's body, finally feeling the man's warm torso with his calloused hands. He was soft, that was for sure, and when his hands rested on his heartbeat, he could feel it beating strong and fast. Leaning forward, Jon placed a kiss right then and there, on Evan's heart, and he was sure he could hear it pounding beneath his ribcage. Swooping back up, they kissed for the umpteenth time that night, lips against lips, spit being passed between the two, and Jonathan knew right then and there, he was _ready._ He was ready for Evan to take him completely; ready to feel the other man throbbing inside him, ready to become one with the man he was in love with.

"Jonathan," Evan interrupted the man's thoughts as they pulled away from the kiss. "Take me to bed."


	18. Evan, I Need You

Delirious took Evan's hand with slight hesitation before leading him down the hallway and back into his bedroom. They left a trail of clothes and shoes along the way, stripping down so that they were left only in their boxers when they arrived to the bedroom. Evan couldn't help but to stare at Jonathan as the man walked in front of him, leading the way. He was too damn good looking for his own good. Skin glistening with sweat, flushed pink all over, and the hickies Evan placed on his body earlier were finally starting to surface. There were splotches of light purple beginning to show, and Evan was glad they were visible.

It was dark in the bedroom, but there was enough light shining in from the window so that they two boys were able to see each other clearly. The moonlight gave the room a different aura, and it was more relaxed. Jonathan was thankful for that, because right now, he was nervous as hell. He felt the butterflies attacking his stomach for what felt like the millionth time, and he decided right then and there, that he'd let Evan take the lead. He felt more comfortable like that, and he felt like Evan would too. They locked lips once more, body against body, and Delirious felt Evan pushing him back towards the bed, leading him there.

The younger man picked up Jonathan's hesitation almost immediately, "You alright?" He breathed against the other man's lips, the smell of alcohol clearly still there. Jonathan only nodded, before allowing himself to be pushed back onto the bed. Evan lie on top of him, placing kisses on his chest now, glancing up at him through his lashes every now and again, and he concluded that Jonathan looked beautiful, ravishing even. And because of the current position they were in, Vanoss was able to wedge his leg in between Jonathan's, and nudge his erection if only slightly, causing the other man to stifle a groan.

It felt like an eternity that they laid there, making out, Evan holding Jonathan's hands above his head, their fingers intertwined together. They used each other's breaths as oxygen supply, because they absolutely did not want to separate. Eventually though, the older man began to grow impatient once more, so he rolled over, causing Evan to be on his back now, and him on top of his lover. He kissed sloppily down his chin, down his neck, creating a trail all the way down his torso, until finally, Jonathan's plump lips landed on the waistband of his lover's boxers. His fingers played there nervously, until he looked up at Evan who was now propped up on his elbows, watching the older man with dark eyes.

"Can I?" Jonathan inquired, his blue eyes full of uncertainty, voice unsure.

Evan nodded, "You don't have to ask." He smiled, swallowing hard, anticipation filling him knowing what was to come.

"Okay."

Back at the arcade, the rest of the boys were finally ready to head back home. By now, they were all pretty much sick of each other, and it was getting late, so they were more than ready to get back home and get some shut eye. However, all eight of them were aware of the current predicament that they were about to face. They didn't know if Delirious and Vanoss had made it home yet, and all of them were dreading if they were. The clock read nearly two in the morning, and it was Brian who had offered to drive Jonathan's car to follow Luke to make it home. And for once, it was silence that actually filled both cars. The only actual sound was Moo drumming his hands on his lap from boredom. They would be home soon, but Cartoonz was trying to drive extra slow to avoid the inevitable.

Jonathan had Evan's boxers pulled down in a swift moment, making him completely naked in front of his lover for the first time, and Jon just couldn't make himself look away. Evan was a literal fucking _masterpiece_ and Jonathan was sure he'd never see anything or anyone more beautiful ever again. It was clear he liked what he saw by the way his eyes darkened ever so slightly. And he wasted no time in wrapping his hand around Evan's full length, causing the younger man to gasp softly. "Jonathan, you don't have to-" He began before getting cut off.

"Shh, _let me_." The older man insisted, not wanting to hear anymore of the asian man's protests. He wanted to make Evan feel good, wanted him to feel at least a fraction of the pleasure that he was giving Jonathan by just being naked. He began to move his hand up and down, twisting his wrist at just the right moments, knowing that Evan was loving every single second of it. Incoherent moans and gasps escaped his lips, and they were music to Jonathan's ears, so he didn't stop. He continued pumping his lover at varying speeds, and finally, he began using his mouth instead of his hand.

" _Mmph,_ Jonathan, Jonathan..." The younger man chanted as he felt Delirious' tongue swirling around what was _him_ and only him. He was unable to hold himself up anymore, so he fell back onto the bed, and his hands went to his lover's head, fisting handfuls of hair as Jonathan bobbed up and down with such fever. And Jonathan could tell he was getting close; he could tell by the way he whispered his name, or inhaled sharply at certain moments, so he stopped his ministrations for now, and returned to kiss Evan with flushed cheeks. Vanoss could taste _himself_ on Jonathan's tongue, the saltiness infiltrating him and his mouth, and he couldn't take it anymore, he needed Jonathan like no other, and he couldn't wait any longer. They had delayed the inevitable for long enough.

Marcel sighed loudly in the backseat of Luke's car, "Are we almost there yet?" He questioned angrily.

"No." Luke answered almost immediately. "Shut up."

Evan had stripped Jonathan so that he was completely naked as well, and the older man laid there in the bed, heart thumping, going a mile a minute and sounding like a fucking freight train, as nerves took over him. He could feel a lump in his throat as Evan continued to kiss him, and that's when he heard the man whisper in his ear. "You're beautiful, Jon." He said, before kissing his lips again. And this was it; they were so close to finally being one, Delirious could barely stand it. He watched with hazy eyes as Evan sat up and put his long fingers into his own mouth, coating them with a thick layer of saliva. It had been _so_ long, and he knew it was going to hurt. He tried to brace himself for the pain that was bound to come. _"Jonathan."_ Evan pulled him out of his anxious thoughts.

"Hm?"

"You've got to relax, okay?" Evan cooed to him, "I promise I won't hurt you." He added in a hushed tone, and the older man only nodded, giving him the okay to move on. A moment later, he felt one of Evan's fingers sliding into him, and it wasn't so bad; a bit uncomfortable at first, but he slowly got used to it as the asian man stretched him to accommodate his length. An exhale left his lips as he felt his lover inserting another finger, and giving him a few loving strokes with his other hand to help ease some of the pain. He could feel Evan moving around inside of him, curling his fingers, trying to find the spot he knew would give him the most pleasure. A few moments later, Evan inserted one more finger, and that's when he found Jon's spot. He curled his fingers, feeling the muscle coil beneath his touch. A smirk graced his lips when he saw Jonathan writhing at his touch, breathy pants escaping his lips.

"Evan," The older man managed to get out, arching his back slightly. " _I need you._ "

Vanoss retracted his fingers, and opened Jon's legs a bit wider so there was room for him in between them. Laying on his back, Jonathan was ready for this moment. It had taken them forever to get here, and now it was finally time. He could feel Evan positioning himself at his entrance, but he didn't go inside just yet. The younger man merely leaned down to kiss his lover first before penetrating him. "If you want me to stop, just say so, okay?" Evan murmured gently, before pecking the tip of Jonathan's nose, and slowly entering him as gently as possible.

Fuck, he was about to lose his mind. Jonathan was so _tight._ It was like nothing he'd ever felt before, and he knew he wouldn't be able to keep this up much longer. A slight groan escaped him, his breath coming out in short pants as he tried to memorize Jonathan's face at this very moment. Back arched off the bed, legs wrapped around Evan's waist, lips slightly parted, and profanities hung in his throat as he tried to compose himself at the moment. He couldn't lose it just yet, but hell, Evan filled him up so nicely, and he let out another low moan as his lover pulled out, and went back in. He continued this at a slow rhythm, reveling in Jonathan's whimpers and other strange sounds that slipped out of his mouth.

All feelings of nervousness and hesitation were completely gone as they became one. And at that moment, the only thing the two could think of was each other. Evan continued at a slow pace, wanting this moment to last forever, and he could feel Jon's legs squeezing him as they wrapped tighter and tighter around his waist. Eventually, his large hands found the headboard, and he used it as leverage as he leaned over Jonathan, sweat coating both of them. The man beneath him was too perfect. Every facial expression he made, Evan adored. Whether it was him squeezing his eyes shut, his lips open in the shape of an O, or just the simplicity of him tilting his head back in ecstasy was too much to bear.

The two were so enticed with each other, they didn't hear the cars pulling in the driveway signaling that the rest of the boys were finally home after all of this time. The sound of car doors slamming, followed by laughter filled the air as the guys headed into the house. They didn't know if their other two friends would be here or not. One could only hope that they weren't. "Do you think they're even here?" Lui asked as they walked up the sidewalk and to the front door. The guys were lost in chatter as they waited for Luke.

"Door's unlocked." Cartoonz said, "Be quiet." The rest of them obliged and followed Luke inside, and immediately, when they saw the articles of clothing strewn about the living room, they knew that Evan and Jonathan had to be there. And they knew that they had to be in the bedroom. Nobody said anything though, whether it be from embarrassment, or because they didn't want to acknowledge the fact that their two best friends were fucking in the next room over. Either way, they just turned on the xbox, hoping that video games would distract them from whatever was going on in Delirious' bedroom.

It was quiet now, moments later, until Wildcat began to laugh. "You guys hear that?" He snickered.

 _"Evan... Mmph, fuck!"_ Jonathan yelled out as he felt his orgasm finally reaching his body. It wasn't long before Evan's own climax came to him as well, and the two lovers came together, simultaneously, one after the other, before collapsing nearly on top of each other. Both of them struggled to catch their breath in the hot air of the bedroom, so they just inhaled each other's oxygen as they pressed their lips together for the final time that night. It had been an experience, that was for sure, and neither of them had ever anticipated that to come from a night of drinking. "Ev," Jonathan breathed out, his breath finally coming back to him as his lover pulled out of him and laid beside him. They were still wrapped and entangled in each other, but they didn't want to separate.

"Yeah?"

"I love you."


	19. Everything Okay?

Delirious was the first to wake up the next morning, well, it wasn't really morning, more like nearing noon. The morning sun barely shined through the frothy curtains of his bedroom, and the only thing he could focus on at the moment was his raging headache. He could feel his pulse in his head, and that was never a good sign. God, why did he choose to get so wasted the night before? He always regretted it the next morning, and the hangovers were never fun. However, all in all, it was kind of worth it. One, because he got to spend the night with Evan, and two, he was able to forget about everything that was troubling him.

He didn't open his eyes when he woke, for he was afraid the morning light would make his headache worse, and suddenly, _everything_ came rushing back to him in one moment of recollection. Evan's body, his dark eyes, his sighs of content, and groans of pleasure. Every single feather touch and soft spoken word came rushing back into Jonathan's mind, and he had to take a moment to wonder if it had all been a dream of some sort. He concluded that it wasn't, but he still couldn't fathom everything that had happened last night. He and Evan were intimate with each other in the way that only lovers were, and Delirious remembered that just before he fell asleep, he told Evan that he loved him. Those three words had escaped his plump lips, and then he was far away in sleep, wrapped up in Vanoss' arms, head resting on his chest. It was a good way to fall into slumber, resting in the arms of someone you loved.

It was quiet, peaceful, and Jonathan didn't want to open his blue eyes. He didn't want to wake up into reality. He'd rather stay like this. But he knew he'd have to face the day and everything about it soon enough, so he allowed himself to open his eyes. And he was right, it did make his headache quite a bit worse, but that wasn't the only thing that made him feel bad. _The bed was empty._ Evan was not there beside Delirious, the older man was laying by himself, and the bed sheets where his outstretched arms touched, felt cold. And that only meant that the spot had been vacant for some time. And that only meant that Vanoss had to have left a long while ago.

Jonathan's breath hitched in his throat, and he was mentally telling himself to calm down before he jumped to conclusions. _Maybe he was in the bathroom?_ The older man merely sat up, and he found out that he was a bit sore from the night's events. But that didn't stop him from throwing the covers off him in a quick moment, and pulling on some sweatpants. His heartbeat was erratic, out of control, his breaths were shaky, and there was a lump in his throat the size of Jupiter that he just couldn't swallow down. The room was spinning, his face felt hot, and his eyes, oh those beautiful blue eyes were blinded with unfallen tears. _This couldn't be happening, not to him._ What did he do to ever deserve this?

He threw open the bedroom door, and walked across the hall to the guest room that belonged to Evan. Ignoring the calls from his friends who were out in the kitchen in the living room, Jon opened up the guest room door, and held his breath. No, no, no, no... This moment wasn't real, it couldn't be. " _Evan?"_ He inquired, his voice sounding like it belonged to somebody else at the moment. Somebody who was broken, lost, and needed help. That was not Delirious; at least, he didn't think it was him. "Ev," He tried again, but received no answer, and his heart sunk when he saw that the room was empty, and all Evan's stuff _was gone._ A tear escaped his eye, and he wiped it away quickly, not wanting to cry in front of the other guys.

"Jonathan, what's up?" Cartoonz asked from the kitchen as he saw Delirious standing in front of the guest room door. He was just standing there, staring into the room, unmoving. "Everything okay?" He questioned, a look of concern crossing his face, and it got the other guys' attention as well. "Delirious," He tried again, before getting up and walking to where his friend was standing. "Holy fuck, are you crying!?" Luke ran to look at Jon, disbelief and shock on his face. "What the hell is the matter?" His tone of voice was harsh, bitter, and he was almost yelling.

"Evan's _gone_..."

His flight was a little over three hours long, and when Evan checked his phone as he sat there on the airplane, he knew Jonathan would have had to been awake by now. Vanoss' stomach churned with uneasiness, guilt, and he knew that he had fucked up, big time. His head hurt too from all the alcohol that he had consumed the previous night, his hangover coming on strong. He had headphones in as he sat there in his seat on the plane, but nothing was playing out of them. No music, no video, he just had them on so nobody would talk to him. He was definitely not in the mood for human interaction at the moment. Hell, he was still trying to wrap his head around what the fuck he just did.

The night with Jon was incredible. There were no other words to describe it. And despite the fact that they were drunk, it went perfectly. His body, his lips, his eyes, the way he wanted to pleasure Evan... It was too much to handle, and now Evan had all his beautiful facial expressions, all his little noises, sounds, whimpers and words engraved into his brain. They'd haunt him; they'd haunt him because Jonathan ruined him, and he knew good and well that the older man was too good for him. He deserved better, and that's why Evan left.

Jonathan said I love you, he had said those fucking words. And this was a literal worse case scenario. Evan wasn't expecting to get drunk off his ass with his best friend, he wasn't expecting to sleep with him, and he damn sure wasn't expecting to fall deeper and deeper in love with him. What kind of person just up and leaves right after you share that intimate connection with someone? That was all Evan could think about. His mind swam with questions, answers, what ifs, and other things that he didn't have solutions or answers for.

So, he waited until his lover fell asleep. And when he did, he watched him for a little while, memorizing his face once more, before deciding that _it was all a mistake._ Everything they did, every moment that they shared... Every time they fell deeper and deeper in love, it was all for nothing. He kissed Jonathan goodbye, and packed his things as quietly as he could, careful not to wake up Jon, or the other guys who were sleeping in the house. He called a cab to the airport, booked the fastest flight back home, and that was it, he left without any warning, left without saying a word, and his heart ached. His heart ached because deep down, he knew that this was the right and wrong thing to do.

He wished he could change himself; he wished he wasn't afraid to fall in love. Because he did; he fell in love with Delirious, and now he was terrified and running away with his tail between his legs. Running away like a coward instead of facing the music. Running away instead of being there for Jonathan who was probably hella upset right now. _He'll be better off,_ Evan thought quickly, before pushing it away. _But would he really?_ What if Vanoss did more harm than good? A sigh escaped his lips, and he couldn't deal with this right now. All in all, in the long term, this would work out for the better, and maybe just maybe, someday he and Delirious could be friends again.

Still lost in his thoughts, Evan asked one of the flight attendants for some aspirin to get rid of his headache. He couldn't sleep, for he was too wound up and lost in his thoughts, and he knew if he did sleep, he'd only think about Jonathan, and he didn't want that. He went to his phone for a distraction, but that was no good either. His lock screen was a photo of he and Jonathan, laying in Jon's bed together, and Jonathan was laughing. Oh god, he missed those eyes, he missed his smell, he missed everything that was Jonathan.

Was this really all worth it? In the long run, he thought so, because he knew that he just wasn't capable of love. Jonathan was too fucking good for him, and yeah, if they did pursue a relationship, it _would_ be fine at the beginning, but the longer it went on, the longer Evan kept up with façade, it would falter. He knew he wasn't capable of loving Jonathan just as much Jonathan loved him, and he blamed himself for that. And he knew that this little stunt that he was pulling right now was going to be the hardest thing he ever had to do in his whole entire life. Evan knew he had to work on himself first, and he had a lot of fucking work to do before he allowed himself to be happy with someone else.

Suddenly, his phone vibrated in his hands, and he saw that it was a text from Tyler: _Dude, what the fuck did you do?_ Evan, however, didn't text back. He turned his phone completely off, slid it into his pocket, and waited patiently for the flight attendant to bring his aspirin that he asked for a little while ago. Leaning his head back, he closed his dark eyes, and just hoped that he was doing the right fucking thing, and he tried not to think about how much he wished Jonathan was here with him right now.

"Delirious-"

"I fucked up, Luke!" Jonathan sobbed, "I _completely_ fucked up!"

"You didn't do anything wrong," Marcel tried to convince through the bedroom door. Jonathan wasn't having it. Somehow, he had managed to get back into his own bedroom, and he was currently sitting against the door, knees to chest, head in his hands, bawling his eyes out. His chest felt like it was collapsing on him, and he knew that it wouldn't be long before he started losing his shit. It was all too familiar, this part of him, and he welcomed the sadness with open arms. He knew that everything going well for him was too good to be true. "Evan was the one who left, not you." His friend continued to try and talk to him, "Just come out here and talk to us, please, Delirious... We're here for you." Marcel begged.

"Evan text back yet?" Moo asked Tyler, who only shook his head.

"For fuck's sake..." Nogla trailed off, walking back into the kitchen. "You know, I never took Evan for _that_ type of guy." He ran a hand through his hair.

"Maybe he left for a different reason?" Mini shrugged.

Lui shook his head, "He would have said something, or told us."

Cartoonz knocked on the bedroom door, "Jonathan, I know you probably feel like shit right now... But you can't ignore the rest of your friends... Please, just come out here. We can talk about it." He talked through the door, trying to get him to come out. But he knew nothing he said right now would work. Jonathan had gotten his heart broken, and this time, the person who was usually able to pick up the broken pieces wasn't here. It was a fucked up situation entirely, and none of the guys had seen it coming. It was all a bit of a shocker to all of them.

"I just want to be alone right now, _please._ " Jonathan begged through his cries.

Luke nodded, "Okay."


	20. What Friends Are For

The bed still smelled like Evan, and that was what killed Jonathan the most. The fact that he was here a mere few hours ago absolutely made his heart ache with a never ending sadness; a sadness he hadn't felt in a very long time. He didn't like the feeling of being alone, of being abandoned, and despite the fact that his friends were out in the living room worried about him didn't change a thing. He still felt more alone than ever, and that was because Evan had taken a piece of him when he left. A piece that he knew he probably wouldn't be getting back for a very long time.

A sigh escaped his lips as he stared up at the ceiling, eyes boring into the white paint, another sad song played on his computer, and he knew that he probably wasn't doing himself any good by laying here and wallowing in his own self pity. Jonathan felt dead inside, and he didn't know what to do to make it any better. He had cried so much, he probably didn't have any tears left. His eyes hurt, they burned, and he wouldn't be surprised if his face was red from where he rubbed the tender skin so much these past few hours.

He had tried to be angry, tried to be mad at Evan for doing this to him, but he couldn't. He loved Vanoss too much to be mad at him, and he knew deep down somewhere in his being that there was reasoning to this madness. There was reasoning to why he just up and left, because Jonathan knew good and well that Evan just wasn't that type of person. And he wished he could stop thinking about him, but he couldn't; not when his fresh smell lingered in his nostrils, not when there were marks on his body caused by him, not when every single thing in the room made him think about the younger man.

Vanoss had arrived home about an hour ago. He had thrown all his luggage down on the floor, along with his car keys and everything else he had on him. Home did not feel like home, not when Delirious wasn't with him. He had to keep reminding himself that in the end, this was a good thing. Despite all the hurt and pain he was causing, it was a good thing, and he had to be strong, otherwise, he'd hop right back on a plane and go straight back to Jonathan's house... And that just couldn't happen. He locked his door back, and pulled his phone out of his pocket to turn it back on. It didn't surprise him that he had multiple messages and missed calls from his friends, but none from Jonathan.

 _Evan, whatever the hell you're doing, it's not fucking funny._

 _Dude, please pick up the phone._

 _Where are you?_

 _Delirious is really upset._

With an agitated sigh, he slipped his phone back into his pocket, and headed to his gaming room to upload a queued video. The personal things that were going on in his life could not affect his youtube channel. He knew he had to keep uploading videos, and he knew that that would also probably tick off his friends. Once he was finished, he laid in bed, staring at his lock screen on his phone. He hadn't thought this thing through very well, because he knew he'd have to avoid the rest of his friends now too. They were nosy as hell, and he knew that they'd try to talk to him about Delirious, and he didn't want that. So it seemed he'd be a loner for a while, at least until he felt comfortable enough about everything; about all the mistakes he made.

"Evan just uploaded a video." Mini Ladd interrupted the silence of the guys as he scrolled through twitter on his phone.

"No fucking way," Tyler replied, pausing the game that they were playing. They were being good friends, and leaving Jonathan alone just like he had asked. So instead, they were all cooped up in his living room, playing his xboxes, and eating his food. "Let me see." He reached for Craig's phone who reluctantly gave it to him. And sure enough, right there on his twitter was a link to a new video. Tyler sighed and gave Mini back his phone. "It just pisses me off so fucking much... They really fucking liked each other, what the hell is wrong with him?" He ranted as he ran a hand through his hair. "And we're his best fucking friends, and he won't even talk to us." He continued, unpausing the game.

"Just give him some time." Droid insisted. "He'll tell us eventually."

"It's just really fucking weird." Lui added.

Cartoonz sighed, and threw down his controller, "I don't know about y'all, but I can't do this shit. I can't let Jon be upset." He got up from the couch and headed down the hallway, banging on Jonathan's bedroom door. He didn't even give the older man time to answer, he just barged right in. "Jonathan, I'm sorry, but I'm not gonna let you just lay here and feel sad." He said as he saw his friend lying in bed staring up at the ceiling. He walked over to turn off the music that was playing, "Please, come play some video games with us or something man... I know you're not okay, but you gotta try, okay?" He continued to beg, walking over and pulling Delirious out of the bed. He had to stop himself from cringing at just how bloodshot his blue eyes were. It had been a while since he'd seen Delirious like this, and he didn't like it. Luke couldn't deal when his friends were upset.

Jonathan nodded, he knew Luke was right. And besides, he didn't want to fall back into his old habits. Depression was a wicked game, and he didn't want to play it. He wanted to be happy, wanted to be in love, but he knew that nothing could ever go his way for this long. He knew it was too good to be true. "Okay Luke," He said as he stood up, "I'll try... But no promises." Jonathan's voice was hoarse as he spoke, and it barely even sounded like him. Despite his body's protests, and the feelings of sadness deep inside him, he followed Cartoonz out into the living room of his own home, and joined the rest of his friends out there.

"Aye! Delirious!" Marcel exclaimed, throwing him a controller.

The older man said nothing, he merely grabbed the controller, and sat down on one of the couches in the living room. He hoped and prayed that video games would help take his mind off everything he was feeling at the moment. Hell, it seemed to work before, so why wouldn't it work now? The guys laughed and joked around him, but it didn't feel the same. It didn't feel the same, not when he was feeling so broken and incomplete. The only question that lingered in his head was why? Why did Evan leave? Surely if it was of dire importance, he would have left a note, or answered the texts or calls from other guys. And that's why Delirious felt so bad; he knew Evan left because of _him._ It was something that Jonathan was at fault for, and he couldn't take that. Had he pushed Evan away? And if he did, how?

Communication at the moment was key, and of course, when it was needed most, there was none. Maybe one day, Jonathan would really know the real reason that the person he was in love with left him right after they shared an intimate moment with each other. Whatever the reason may be, Jon just hoped that he had the strength down inside of him to forgive Evan. But deep down, he knew he would, because no matter how much he tried, he couldn't stop loving Evan, and he knew he wouldn't be able to stop loving him. He loved that man more than he loved himself, even if he had broken his heart and hurt him. He was sure there was good reasoning behind it, and maybe one of these days he'd finally learn what it was.

Delirious must not have noticed the tears slowly falling from his eyes, but the other guys sure as hell did, and that's why it was Moo who paused the game this time, and he turned to look at his friend. "Do you want to talk about it?" He asked with a shrug, "It might make you feel better." He insisted, and the other guys knew it probably would too. Jonathan wiped his tears away for the umpteenth time that day, and merely nodded. Maybe if he got it off his chest and out in the open, it would feel more real, and it'd be easier to process.

And so he did just that, and spilled everything to his friends. He told them about he and Evan went and got drunk, and how one thing led to another, and suddenly they were in bed together. He told them that he had told Evan that he loved him, and when he woke up the younger man was gone. He had told them all the feelings he had pent up inside him, told them that he felt sad and what not, and hurt and betrayed. "And I just want _him..._ " He trailed off. "I want him to call me and tell me that everything's going to be okay, but I know that that's not going to fucking happen." He finished as he buried his face in his hands.

"Well, if it makes you feel any better, he won't talk to any of us right now either." Mini shrugged.

"He's being a fucking asshole." Tyler added.

"Guys." Marcel chided, "Come on, just because he's an asshole, he's still our friend and we shouldn't talk about him."

"Yeah," Terroriser added.

"Look," Brock sighed, "I know Evan, and this isn't like him... Just give him a few days, and everything should be back to normal. Whatever this is, I honestly just think he's scared. I know he's been in some bad relationships before, and maybe he's just trying to be careful." He shrugged, hoping that this would make Delirious feel better. "I promise you, Delirious, it's gonna be okay." He added, smiling slightly.

"Thanks guys." Jonathan said.

"That's what friends are for." Nogla added, grinning.

"Okay, okay, enough of this shit." Cartoonz jumped in, picking up the xbox controller once more. "Can we stop being pussies and talking about our feelings? Let's kill some fucking shit." He added, unpausing the game, and the others did the same as they began playing their game once more. And Delirious had to admit, he did feel a bit better after he got everything off his chest. And Moo's words did comfort him slightly; hell, he knew Evan had been in a couple of bad relationships before, he just didn't think it had effected him that much to the point of where he didn't want a relationship anymore. Jonathan hadn't even given that possibility a thought. The good thing was that Evan was off his mind for now, and he could just relax and play games with his friends while they were still here.

They played video games for a long time, until it was nearing sunset. Jonathan had decided to cook dinner for his friends, he was in a better mood now, and he knew they loved his cooking. He became immersed in his meal, thanking the stars that it was distracting him from his current predicament. "Oh shit guys!" Brock exclaimed, "Evan just texted me!" He said as he looked at his phone, reading the small text that the asian man had sent. Hell, they were just glad to finally hear from him after a day like today. _I know you guys are probably really pissed at me, and I'm sorry._ At least it was something, but they all knew that it wasn't good enough, especially not for Jonathan.


	21. Say Hi To The Vlog

Jonathan couldn't sleep that night, but he should have known better. He should have known that without Evan by his side, his insomnia would haunt him relentlessly. So instead of sleeping, he stayed up on his computer, editing videos. It had been a while, at least since Evan had arrived, since he'd posted a video for all his fans. He knew that he couldn't let personal things get in the way of his youtube career either, so he uploaded some old footage to keep his subscribers happy for now. It would probably be awhile before he felt like playing anything new, so it was a good thing he had lots of old stuff recorded.

It was still pretty late when he finished doing that, and he still wasn't even tired. Curiosity got the best of him, so he headed over to Vanoss' youtube channel. He hadn't wanted to look at it, but a part of him couldn't help it. He saw that he had uploaded a video earlier that day as well, and it was old footage too. He clicked on it, and put his headphones in, and immediately, Evan's voice filled his ears. He wasn't going to lie, it was slightly comforting, hearing him laugh and talk and make fun of the other guys in the video. But when the video was over, the sad realization came to him that Evan still wasn't here, and he knew staying on the computer was a bad idea.

Jonathan shut everything down and went back to his bed. The sun was coming up outside, and that was never a good thing. Him staying up all night only meant that something was bothering him, and in this case, that simple fact was a hundred percent true. He knew there was no sense in trying to go to sleep now, since his friends would be up soon, so he headed to the front porch to watch the sunrise. He was exhausted, yet restless at the same time, and he didn't know how he could feel both at once.

Birds sang, and he heard them as orange and yellow lit up the sky. Until finally, it was daylight out and the morning was known. It was peaceful, he had to admit, but all in all, he really just wished Evan was here with him right now. His mind drifted to the other night when it was just these two out here on the front porch, staring at the stars and reveling in the moon. He remembered he was going to confess to Evan that night, but chickened out because Evan pretended to be asleep. That was the first night they slept together in a bed, and Jonathan remembered that night as one of the best nights of his life.

"You been up all night?" It was Cartoonz who brought Jonathan out of his thoughts.

The older man turned only to find his friend peeking out of the doorway, "Kind of." He answered, nonchalantly, his voice hoarse from no sleep.

Luke scoffed and walked outside to join Delirious on the porch, "You can't do this to yourself, Jon." He said in a gentle voice.

"Do what?" The older man inquired.

"You can't treat yourself like shit just because someone else did." He said with a shake of his head.

"I'm not." Jonathan answered, "I just couldn't sleep."

"Look, I'm not gonna lie, I've been worried about you." Luke admitted, sitting down beside his friend. "I just... I just don't want to see you getting all worked up over this. I don't want to see you sad and upset, because that's not you. So... Can you like just promise me that you'll really try to be okay? I know you're going through a hard time, but I don't want to see you give up on yourself. I believe in you, and I know you can do this." He finished, unable to look his other friend in the eye. Cartoonz was like a brother to Delirious, and no brother wanted to see the other one upset, or hurt. He was going to look out for Jon, always. "And you know I'm here for you." He finished.

"I can't promise you anything, Luke." Jonathan replied, "But I will really try, okay?"

"That's all I can ask." He nodded.

When the rest of the guys finally woke up, they decided on going out for breakfast, instead of having Jonathan cook for them again. There was a small diner just a little ways from Jonathan's house, and Luke decided that that place would probably be best for everyone to eat. Once they were all ready, they loaded up into the two cars and headed just that way. Jonathan was a little more quiet than normal, but all the guys had expected that from him today. Hell, after everything he'd been through, they were surprised he even left the house.

And Evan hadn't texted back anymore either. He hadn't said another word to anybody about anything. After that one text they got from him last night, nobody received anything else from the asian man, but nobody had tried to contact him anymore either. They figured he needed to be left alone with his thoughts as well. They assumed he had wanted to be left alone too, so they didn't bother him with anything else.

Breakfast went well, and the guys were surprised to even have gotten a few laughs out of Jon. And after they ate, they drove around Jon's town, looking for something else to do together, and to get their mind taken off different things. They managed to find a small amusement park, courtesy of Luke, and that was pretty fun. All of them riding rides and eating the different fair food, and just hanging out together. It was a good way to pass the time, and Delirious liked seeing his friends goofing off together and what not. As they walked, Nogla, Brian, and Lui were all vlogging at the same time for their youtube channels.

"Daithi! Say hi to the vlog!" Terroriser said, pointing his camera at Nogla.

"No, you say hi to my vlog!" Nogla pointed his camera back at Brian.

They were sure not to get Delirious in them though, because despite everything and how much he had grown, he still wasn't ready for a face reveal just yet. He was too popular and the thought of him being recognized and jumped out in public terrified him. So he just laughed at his friends who were busy vlogging away at what was North Carolina. And it really was beautiful; sun high in the sky as all the people crowded at the amusement park. It rained for a few minutes, but that didn't stop the fun. Once they were done with that, Moo picked out a restaurant for dinner, and they all agreed on that as well. And of course they were the loudest people there. What with Marcel complaining about everything, and Tyler and Craig arguing with each other every two minutes.

At least his friends were trying to cheer him up, and that was all that mattered. And none of them had mentioned Evan, and Jonathan was so thankful for that. He didn't want to think about the younger man anymore, didn't want to hear his name or his voice anymore. After everything that had happened, he just really wanted to forget, and he knew he could at least try to do that with the help of his friends.

When the day was finally coming to a close, and the stars were out, Delirious was exhausted. Hell, he couldn't even drive because of his lack of sleep. Droid drove his car home instead, and when Jonathan finally got to his bed, he collapsed, and slept for what felt like an eternity. It felt good though, to get the rest that he needed, and when he woke up, he felt a little bit better than he did before. When he woke, however, he woke to his friends packing up their things and bidding farewells to each other, and that's when it had hit Jonathan. His friends were leaving today, and he had forgotten all about it because of everything that had been going on with Evan. He padded out to the living room, still groggy for having slept so long. "Man, I can't believe you guys are really leaving." He said, rubbing his eyes.

"I know..." Brock trailed off.

"I'm sorry about everything that happened." Tyler mentioned, rubbing the back of his neck awkwardly.

"It's okay." Jonathan waived it off. "You guys definitely have to come back soon though, it's going to be weird without you here." He added.

"Don't worry, we'll be back." Lui smiled.

"You know we gotta do another group hug, right?" Wildcat grinned as he sat his luggage down and pulled Delirious into his arms. "Group hug!" He yelled, and everybody else joined in. It was nice, Jonathan had to admit that, and this was just the kind of thing he needed to make himself feel a bit better, and he knew that he had the best friends in the world. The hug was slightly different though, because Vanoss wasn't there. Despite everything though, despite all the bad that had happened, this trip, this little meet up with his friends was a good thing. They got to finally see him in person, and that was all that mattered.

"Maybe next time we'll meet at my house." Craig suggested.

Jonathan nodded, "Sure." After all their goodbyes though, Delirious got dressed, and he and Luke drove everyone to the airport. It was weird, seeing them all leaving, when just a few days ago they had all just met. "Text me when y'all land." Jonathan said, "And we'll play together, okay?" He said, and the guys agreed. He watched them take their separate ways, and then he and Luke drove back to his own house. He knew Cartoonz wouldn't be staying with him anymore either. Albeit, the man lived a couple streets away, it would still feel weird. Jonathan was going from a full house, back to and empty one, and he was going to have to adjust to that again.

"Let me know if you need anything, alright Jon?" Luke asked, before leaving, and Jonathan merely nodded, bidding his friend a goodbye. And it was then, he was truly alone once more. The house was empty, and so was he, and he could feel the sadness begin to creep back up on him. It was a feeling he didn't welcome, and he didn't know it would try to overtake him once more. He tried distracting himself the best way he knew how, he cooked for himself, cleaned everything up, and then finally played some video games to try and get his anxiety to calm down.

The lights were low, the sun was setting outside, and Delirious merely mashed buttons on his xbox controller to try and forget about everything. He wanted it all gone, out of his head, but it wasn't working. Evan was still there, engraved into his brain, and he knew that forgetting wouldn't be as easy as he was trying to make it out to be. He was still so in love with the younger man, and nothing was going to change it. Not the fact that he left, not the fact that he hurt Jonathan; no fact was going to make him love Evan any less. And Jonathan knew right then and there that he just couldn't do this. He wouldn't be able to function with everyone gone. It was just him and his thoughts, and he hated being alone more than anything.


	22. That Was A Dick Move

A few days had passed by, hell, Delirious didn't know how many it had been. He'd long since stopped keeping track of the days. Ever since Evan and the guys had left, he had no need to. He didn't need to know what day it was, he didn't need to know the time... None of that mattered. There was a daily routine he kept to. He woke up, sometimes it wasn't even morning when he did, ate something, showered and cleaned up around the house, and it was spotless due to how much he was cleaning it. After that, he kept himself occupied by playing video games or editing videos, and when that didn't suffice, he found himself being unable to stay in the house alone. He went on runs, or took his dog for a walk, or sometimes he'd just drive and get lost for hours.

Jonathan did all these things until he was exhausted and unable to lie awake anymore. He had to keep himself occupied, because if he didn't, he knew that Vanoss would come to mind, and that was the last thing he wanted. Of course, Cartoonz still came by to check on him everyday to make sure he was okay, and the other guys often sent him texts and tweets and tried to call him to get him to play with them. But Delirious always declined their invites to do anything, and used old footage for his videos instead, unless he was doing a let's play by himself.

And Evan did the exact same thing. He didn't want to face the guys yet either. He knew that by now, they just had to _know_ what he and Delirious did that night. And he knew that they were probably more than pissed at him for hurting Jonathan. But hell, his friends didn't even know he was gay, so what would they think of him now? What did they think of Jonathan? Those questions probably didn't bother, but they still haunted Evan like no other, so as of right now, he was alone, simply trying to avoid everyone as much as he could. He didn't do well with confrontation, and he knew to just stay away. But being alone was something that Evan did not know how to do well. He had always been the one to be surrounded by friends and family and many others.

He had always been a people person, and that's how he knew it was only a matter of time before he gave in. It had been about ten days or so since he'd officially left North Carolina, and he had received a text message from Moo Snuckel. _Hey man, the guys want to play some gta... You in?_ The text had asked him, and his heartbeat immediately picked up in his chest. When Moo said the guys, did he mean Delirious too? Was he going to be playing with them as well? Evan was too scared to ask, because he didn't want to bring Jonathan up at all. And as if to read his mind, he got another text from Moo. _Don't worry, Delirious isn't playing with us either._

And that's when he felt the tightness in his chest immediately lighten up. A sigh of relief escaped his lips, he wouldn't have to face his demons just yet, and that was a comforting feeling for now. Evan knew that Delirious was either really sad or really pissed off, or a weird combination of the two possibly. He couldn't face the older man just yet; he wanted to hold off on that for as long as he could. And if Jonathan was mad, Evan didn't blame him. The younger man knew that everything he did was totally fucked up, and if he was being honest with himself, he didn't know if he'd be able to fix it when the time came.

Quickly, he typed back a small response: _I'll play with you guys on one condition._

 _What's that?_ Brock asked in reply.

 _You can't talk about what happened in North Carolina._

 _Deal,_ Moo said slipping his phone back into his pocket. He put his headset back on where Mini and Nogla were already in a skype call with him. It was their big idea to text Evan in the first place and ask him if he wanted to play since the hadn't heard from him in a while. "Tyler here yet?" He inquired, but he wasn't. "Alright, Evan said he'd play with us... But we can't talk about Delirious." Moo revealed as he loaded up his grand theft auto game on his computer. "I already told him we wouldn't." He added.

"We have to." Mini insisted. "This is the first time he's talked to us in like two weeks."

"I know, but we can't just straight out ask him." Brock replied.

"What should we do then?" Daithi inquired, but received no answer, because the guys honestly didn't know what to do about this. It took Vanoss a few more extra minutes to get everything in his gaming room set up since he hadn't played with the guys in so long. But when he joined the skype call, he saw that Brock, Craig, and Nogla were already there waiting for him. They were already laughing about something when Evan slipped on his headset, he could clearly make out Nogla's hiccupped laughter, and immediately it brought a smile to his face. He had to admit that he did miss his friends. "Evan!" Nogla yelled into the mic, glad the asian man finally joined.

"What are we playing?" Vanoss asked feeling a bit awkward, forgetting that Moo said they were playing gta.

"Uh, grand theft auto..." Brock trailed off, "We gotta wait on Tyler though." He said as Vanoss loaded the game on his pc.

"Holy shit!" Tyler exclaimed when he joined. "Nobody told me Evan was playing with us!" He sounded really excited, and maybe, just maybe Evan playing video games with them was a sign they got their friend back. It was a big step, for Vanoss to actually reply to the guys and play with them, especially since he'd been avoiding everyone for all of this time. It felt weird to have him back if Wildcat was being honest with himself.

Evan laughed but to boys could tell it sounded a bit forced. "Yeah, I'm back." They wasted no time in booting up the game, and inviting each other to play. And things were going well too. It felt like old times; everything felt normal, like nothing had ever even happened. They were finding glitches, making funny death montages. None of them would say it though, but they knew it wasn't the same without Delirious. His goofy laughter was missing, his silliness and all the stupid shit he did in the game; they missed it. They missed him, and it was so different without the older man.

"So, uh, Evan..." Daithi trailed off.

"Yeah?"

"How ya been?" The Irishman inquired as innocently as he could muster. "We haven't heard from ye in a while." He continued to speak, the rest of the guys simply kept on playing their game. But they knew what Nogla was doing. They knew he was trying to pry, trying to force information out of Evan, and that never ended well for anybody. They all knew that from experience.

"I've been okay." Evan answered nonchalantly. "What about you guys?" He questioned right back. He didn't know why, but his friends were acting pretty strange around him. He wasn't sure if it was from just where they hadn't played together in a week, or if it had been something else. Brock promised though, that he _wouldn't_ bring it up. So hopefully, he wouldn't, at least, that's what Evan wished for. Goddamn he didn't want them to say it; he didn't want them to ask, hell, he didn't even want to hear Delirious' name come out of their mouths.

"We're cool." Mini answered.

"Yep, everything's great." Moo added as they continued to play.

It was silent for a few moments, nothing but laughter filling the headsets of the five of them. But finally, Tyler asked the question that was on everybody's mind, and he broke the ice between all of them. "You talk to Delirious?" He questioned, and there was dead silence after that, until Evan finally shut everything down and disconnected from the game. "Well, that was absolute shit." Tyler sighed. He knew deep down that they shouldn't make Evan talk about things he didn't want to talk about, but he was going to have to deal with this shit sooner or later, and every single one of them knew that. All of them knew he would have to figure out what he wanted; he wouldn't just be able to use Jonathan like that.

"He'll come around guys." Brock said with a small sigh.

"I hope so..." Nogla added as they continued their game, this time without Vanoss. And as for Evan, he just sat there, staring wide eyed at his computer screen. Did he really just do that? Did he really just disconnect from his friends because they mentioned Jonathan's name? What the hell was wrong with him? God, he was such a piece of shit and he knew it. When would the time come where he had to really sit down and sort through his feelings? He couldn't have these mixed emotions forever, they were really taking a toll on him.

He knew he had love for Jonathan, hell, he knew he was _in love_ with the older man. But he was so afraid of his past relationships, so afraid of everyone who had left him because he simply wasn't capable of loving _enough._ The past was destroying his future, and he hated it. He hated it with every single fiber in his being. And Evan blamed nobody but himself for all of this, blamed nothing but his life and experiences and all the other people in his life who had let him down. Was Jonathan like that? Would the older man eventually get tired of Evan and his unrequited love? Would he simply toss him to the side as well? Evan knew that the only way to answer those questions was to just go for it, but he was terrified. He was terrified of letting his heart have free reign over everything. He didn't want to be the one getting hurt this time.

Suddenly, his phone buzzed, and he saw that it was Wildcat. Spitefully, he answered it, "Hello?"

"Hey man, I'm sorry, that was a dick move."

"It's fine." Evan waived it off, and was about to hang up.

"Can I say something?" Tyler asked, and Vanoss didn't say anything, so he took that as his cue to keep talking. "Whatever you're doing, hiding from your problems, or avoiding everyone... You can't do that. You gotta decided what you want, alright Evan? And I know I'm in no place to give you advice, but please trust me when I say that you and _him_ are both hurting. Don't do this to yourself." He rambled on and on, only wanting the best for one of his best friends. "Okay Evan...? Evan?" He had asked, but the younger man had already hung up. Tears burned Evan's eyes as he stared at the picture on his lockscreen. Delirious' face... Jonathan's face, god, he wanted him, he wanted him here with him right now, and it took all the strength in his body not to call him right then and there. He needed more time, needed to figure himself out. And he hoped that Jonathan would understand that.


	23. But You Need This

Luke sighed with frustration as he turned the radio up in his car. It had been a few days since he had heard from Jonathan, so he was on his way over to his friend's house at the moment. The drive wasn't too long with him only living a few streets over, but he had some great news for the older man. He knew that Delirious was probably still upset about the situation with Vanoss, hell, it had only been _two weeks_ since it had happened, but he didn't want him to be upset forever. He knew that it wasn't his responsibility to make the man happy again, but he deep down, he felt like he should try to help out a little bit more, and that's why he was driving over to give Jonathan the great news. Well, it probably wouldn't be great news for Jon, but it was great news nonetheless.

It was a hot day, the sun playing peek a boo with clouds when Luke finally pulled into the driveway of Jonathan's blue house. He turned the car off, and headed up the sidewalk to the front door. He knocked lightly at first, and when he received no answer, he knocked harder, hoping that the other man would answer soon. It was hot out, and Luke was beginning to sweat. With another frustrated sigh, he pulled the extra key that was out here only for him, and used it to unlock the door to get into the house. Maybe Jonathan was in the shower or something and didn't hear the knocks on the door.

The house was dark, Luke noticed that when he walked inside. All the curtains were closed, no light being able to come in, and the smell of alcohol was _strong_. The stench burned his nose, and he opened up a window so some of the gross smell would go away. He also moved the curtains so some sunshine would be allowed in the house, and that's when he first saw Jonathan. The older man was curled up on the couch, a bottle of liquor spilled on the floor in front of him, xbox controllers and games strewn about the living room. No wonder why he hadn't tried to contact Cartoonz; he was too busy drinking away his problems.

Luke flipped the light on, "Jonathan." His voice was firm, he wanted to wake the other man up. "Jon," He said once more as he walked over to the couch, shaking the tall man. Hell, it was the middle of the day, what in the fuck was Delirious still doing asleep anyway? This was ridiculous; he knew he had to get him out of this depressive slump, or whatever the hell it was. Cartoonz hated Evan for this; he hated the asian man for breaking his friend's heart. Hated him for leaving him to pick up the broken pieces instead. "Dude, get the fuck up!" He raised his voice, and shook the sleeping man a bit harder, finally causing him to stir.

Jonathan rolled over on the couch, "What do you want?" He mumbled without opening his eyes.

"I _want_ you to wake up." Luke scoffed.

The older man finally opened one of his eyes, squinting when they came in contact with the light. God, how much did he even drink last night? The room reeked of liquor, and he knew if he could smell it, Luke would smell it too, and Cartoonz was never fond of Delirious getting drunk. "How the fuck did you get in my house?" He questioned, trying to take in the world as he woke up and sat up on the couch. How long had he been asleep for? He couldn't even remember. Hell, the last thing he _did_ remember was leaving Evan an angry voicemail because the asian man wouldn't pick up the phone. Of course though, his phone was free of notifications because the younger man was still avoiding him at every cost.

"Spare key." Luke answered smugly.

"Oh, right." Jonathan nodded, rubbing the sleep from his bloodshot baby blues. "So what did you want?" He added.

Luke shrugged, "I don't know," He said sarcastically. "You weren't answering my calls, I got worried. Glad to see you're finding a friend in alcohol." He continued to ramble. "Anyway, none of that shit matters right now because we are going on a trip. You are going to get the fuck up, pack your shit, because our plane leaves in three hours." He finished as he began walking around the living room, picking up soda cans and controllers. He had a plan, and albeit, he didn't know how good it would work, he had a plan, and he was going to put that plan into action. If Delirious wouldn't, then who would? And that's why this needed to happen; he knew the older man needed some _encouragement_ of some sort.

"Plane!?" Jonathan asked incredulously, standing up. "You know I don't fly."

"Well, you do now." Cartoonz replied. "And you smell pretty funky, so I'd shower if I were you."

"Where are we going?" The older man inquired as he began to help his friend clean up the mess of a house.

Luke sighed, and turned to face Jonathan, "Okay, there's a convention going on and the guys really want you to come. You don't have to reveal yourself or whatever, but they really miss you and asked me to bring you along... So you're going, okay?" He continued to say, "And I don't know if Evan's going to be there, I can't lie to you, he might be. But you need this, Jonathan, you need to get out of the house, quit feeling sorry for yourself. I'm only doing this because I care about you." He finished, "So please, don't argue with me, and go get ready." It was like a parent ordering around a child, but Jonathan needed that kind of direction in his life right now, so he merely nodded and headed to the bathroom to shower and get ready while Luke finished cleaning up his house.

A little over an hour later, they were both ready to go. Jonathan had managed to pack some things he thought he might need, and fix himself something to eat before he and Luke were in Luke's car and on their way to the airport. It was the exact same airport where Jonathan had met Evan and all his friends for the first time, so the memories were mostly good. He remembered that that was the first place he and Evan hugged, and Evan had gushed over the fact he was so tall... Shit, thinking about _those_ memories made Jonathan's head hurt, and it wasn't just because of the fact that he was hung over either. He turned to Luke to distract himself, "If I die on this airplane I will fucking haunt you." He warned.

Luke laughed, "If you die, I'll probably die too."

Delirious chuckled, "Yeah, you're right."

They parked the car, and headed inside to the airport, waiting for their flight to board. Jonathan wasn't going to lie; he was anxious as hell. Just the thought of him being on an airplane terrified him, and that's why he never went anywhere that wasn't in driving distance. His hands were a little sweaty, and he couldn't sit still as he and Luke stood in line waiting for their flight. His heart was beating rapidly, and he was taking deep breaths to try and calm himself down. A part of his mind drifted, and he knew if Evan were here, he'd be calm in an instant with the touch of his hand or something small and irrelevant like that. "Hey, you alright?" Cartoonz pulled the older man out of his thoughts.

Delirious nodded, "Fine, just a little nervous." He answered.

"Don't worry about it." Luke waived it off. "It'll be over before you know it."

"I hope you're right about that..." He trailed off, walking forward and giving a friendly woman his ticket. And a few moments later, before he even knew it, he and Luke were boarding the plane. "I need to sit by the window." He said immediately, knowing his agoraphobia would not allow him to be on this plane with all these different people. He needed the window as a distraction, needed the view so he could look at the sky and calm himself down. Luke obliged without objection, and let the older man take the window seat. They sat in silence, listening to the instructions of the pilot, and all the while, Delirious tuned everything out, trying to focus on his breaths instead. He told Cartoonz he was going to try and sleep, so he put his headphones on, and closed his eyes.

His head still pounded, probably from the alcohol, and probably from the altitude of the plane. Soft music played in his ears through his headphones, but he wasn't sleeping, he was thinking. A round of questions, situations, and scenarios floated around in his head. What if Evan was at the convention? Would they ignore each other? Would the reconcile their feelings? Would they fight? Jonathan didn't know those answers, and he kept trying to imagine them in his head, but he couldn't. It had been so long since he'd heard Evan's voice, felt Evan's touch... Hell, he thought he might have been starting to forget the man. But deep down, he knew he'd never be able to forget him. He'd made such an impact on his life, he'd forever be there.

And if Evan wasn't there, would Delirious even be able to enjoy himself with the other guys? Or would his mind be too preoccupied? Would he be depressed and not want to do anything? He knew he needed to have some fun, take his mind off things, but he didn't know if his anxiety and thoughts would allow him to do so. Honestly, he just wanted to feel numb, and that was the whole reason why he'd been drinking so much these past couple of days. Alcohol help a lot; helped with the pain, helped him forget, and it helped him with all the anger and hurt he felt inside. The burn of the liquid inside him felt so good, and he needed it right now in his life, more than he needed Evan, more than he needed air to breathe. So as long as it helped, the longer he was going to use it.

They had been flying for about two and half hours, Jonathan just kind of lost in his thoughts while Luke watched a movie on his phone. Flying wasn't so bad, Jonathan had come to that conclusion, but that was probably only because his mind was occupied with other things... Like Evan. So his first flight wasn't that bad. And he knew they were going to land soon because the pilot came over the intercom and said they were about twenty minutes from their destination. He was eager to see where they were at, and he was eager to see all of the guys again. They were like family, and Jon had missed them dearly while they were gone.

"Well, how was it?" Cartoonz inquired as the flight was finally landing and coming to an end.

Jonathan shrugged, "It wasn't that bad." He said, putting his phone away and looking out the window to see just where their destination was. But everything came to a halt, and he felt his heartbeat increase rapidly when he saw the nearest sign. No way... No fucking way Luke would do this to him. How could he? Why in the fuck would he bring him to _Canada_?


	24. For Fuck's Sake

The room was spinning, and everything felt like a blur. The only thing Jonathan could register was that his feet were in fact moving underneath him, and he was getting out of here as fast as possible. His heart, oh his heart was out of control, and he was trying so hard to swallow the lump in his throat. He couldn't cry in front of all these people who were already looking at him like he was crazy. It felt hard to breathe as he struggled to pull in air. It was as if though his lungs just wouldn't fill up. Everything was crashing down in one single moment.

"I can't fucking believe you!" Jonathan yelled as he stomped through the airport with Luke trailing right behind him.

"Goddamn it Jon!" Luke replied, "Will you wait up?" He called out, running after his friend who was dragging his luggage as fast as could, trying to get out of the airport. When he saw the destination when they landed, he was pissed. He started yelling at Cartoonz, cussing him out, because he really was _infuriated_ that his friend had brought him here; to the place of his problem. And now here they were, weaving in and out of the people in the airport, arguing and hollering at each other. But Jonathan wasn't going to have it, he didn't want to talk to Luke, didn't want to hear his bullshit. Hell, he knew he brought him here on purpose.

And he was so sick of being pushed around. He knew Luke was only doing it because he cared about him, but Jonathan knew he had to do things at his own pace. He couldn't be forced into something, and that's exactly what Cartoonz was trying to do now with this whole Evan situation. "Leave me alone, Luke!" Delirious yelled, turning around to finally look at the shorter man. "I can't believe you'd do this to me... For fuck's sake man." He shook his head, and turned to keep walking, finally spotting the exit doors. He was taking a cab, and he was getting as far away from this place as he could. He couldn't be here, hell, he shouldn't be here, and it was all Luke's fault. The other man was trying way too hard.

The bearded man finally caught up to him just before he was able to reach the doors, "Jonathan," His voice pleaded as he reached to place a firm hand on his shoulder. He was just glad he was able to catch up to him before he got to the doors. "Just please, Jon, talk to me." He begged, not wanting his brother like friend to be angry with him for doing this.

Delirious turned around, "I appreciate what you're tryin' to do, Luke, I do..." He trailed off. "But _this_ is something that needs time, okay?" He continued to say, his blue eyes boring into Luke's brown ones. He knew Luke worried about him, and he was glad he did, but this was something above and beyond both of them. This was something that needed careful thought and consideration. "You keep pushing me and pushing me, and _I'm fine_ , really I am. I'm working through this on my own." A sigh escaped his pretty pink lips, and he was so glad he finally got that out of his system.

Cartoonz nodded, really listening to Jonathan's words. "Will you at least come to the con later? The guys really do want to see you."

Jonathan shrugged, "I don't know... I just need some time alone to think."

"I understand."

"I'll call you later, okay?" Delirious inquired and Cartoonz nodded before releasing his friend's arm and letting him walk out the airport doors. He had to go meet the rest of the guys and check in at the hotel they were going to be staying at. Meanwhile, Jonathan had made his way outside and had managed to flag down a cab so he could just get away from the airport. He told the driver to take him to the nearest bar, because god knows he needed a drink. Something to calm his nerves, make him forget about everything for a while. He looked out the window, studying the streets, and it was nothing like North Carolina. Too much city, and Jonathan didn't like that. There were too many people, too many faces.

But finally, the cab reached the bar, so he paid the driver and got out of the car. He tried to forget the fact that he was in a foreign place and that he had no idea where he was. Deep breaths made their way through his nose and out of his mouth as he attempted to calm himself. Anxiety would do him no good in a situation like this. When Jonathan finally thought he was going to be okay, he headed into the bar with happy thoughts. And this bar was relatively nice and looked new. It was way better than the shitty bar he and Evan drank at before.

After he ordered his drink, he found a small seat in the corner of the room, and began drinking his troubles away. The alcohol was too damn good, and he was thanking his lucky stars that it even existed right now. A thought crossed his mind as he sat there drinking too; he could get a flight home if he really wanted to. There was no way in hell he was going to that convention. Of course, he knew the guys really wanted him to, but he knew better. Delirious knew his anxiety and the current situation in his life just wouldn't allow him to do that. It would send him into a fucking frenzy. So then why was he still here? Why did he choose to stay here and get drunk off his ass instead of heading back home?

Jonathan knew why. Deep down in his subconscious, he knew he didn't want to leave because here, in Canada, he was closer to Evan. And even though the younger man betrayed him, hurt him, and did him wrong, Jonathan still _wanted_ him. He still loved him, still wanted to be with him, and that's why he was sitting here in this bar. He wasn't sure what he was going to do yet, but goddamn he would figure it out. It had been a little over two weeks with no word from his ex lover, and that was driving him to literal insanity. Something had to be done, and soon. Maybe that's why Luke brought him here?

Speaking of Luke, he had finally made it the hotel where the rest of the guys were patiently awaiting the arrival of he and Delirious. He saw them standing there as the taxi cab pulled up. Nogla and Brian were vlogging, and the rest of the guys seemed to be busy checking their phones and other things. "Hey y'all!" Cartoonz greeted as he approached them. One by one they turned to look at him, and they were all expecting Delirious to walk up beside him.

"Where's Delirious?" Marcel questioned.

Luke sighed, "He was pissed at me for bringing him _here,_ so he left." He answered, "I don't blame him though... He said he would call later." He shrugged, knowing all too well that what he did was wrong. The other guys should have expected this too. Jonathan wasn't big or traveling, or public appearances, especially not with everything going on in his life right now. "Is Vanoss coming to the con with us?" He then asked, looking over at Mini Ladd and Wildcat.

"We invited him," Mini answered. "But he said he didn't want to come."

"Figures." Luke shrugged.

"You guys want to go get some food before the con?" Moo questioned. They all agreed, and began walking to one of the many restaurants down the street. In the back of all of their minds though, they were all worried about Delirious even though they knew they shouldn't be. They couldn't help it though, he was one of their best friends, and they only wanted what was good for him. They were all hoping that Evan would come to his senses or something like that, because they were tired of this. Things needed to go back to normal, and they needed to go back to normal fast. They all missed playing with Delirious, they missed he and Evan being really close and talking to each other all the time. Shit, they were made for each other, and here they were avoiding each other like the plague.

Jonathan was on his seventh or eighth beer, he was sure, all he knew was that he lost count a long time ago. He was pretty buzzed now though, he knew that for sure. His vision was getting blurry, and that familiar heat in his cheeks from being drunk was present. The numbness took over, and it felt good. He had no worries for the time being, and that was a good thing. He had received a text from Cartoonz about the hotel room and what not, but he didn't care. The only thing that mattered to him right now was the booze in front of him, and his current predicament.

He knew Evan's address like the back of his hand. He knew it from all the gifts that they had sent each other back and forth; it was forever memorized and etched into the back of his brain, just like his voice, or his touch, or his laugh. And all he had to do was tell it to a cab driver, and poof, he'd be there. He'd be right at Evan's front door, face to face with the man who broke his heart and yet he was still endlessly in love with him. The more he thought about it, the more it seemed like a great idea. He could finally confront Evan, ask him about everything, get answers, and finally take out all of the frustrations that had been building onto him for the past two weeks.

The liquid courage inside Jonathan was churning and building, so he stood up, stumbled out of the bar, and found a cab. He was really doing this, it was going to happen, and he was either going to fail or fly when he saw Evan's face for the first time in two weeks. Anger, hurt, betrayal, and sadness mixed around inside his already upset stomach, and he was so sick and tired of feeling those ways. This was going to be taken care of, once and for all.

The cab driver knew he was drunk by the way his words slurred, but as long as he was getting paid, he didn't care. So he listened to Jonathan's address request, and began the drive there. It was a little ways away, but Delirious didn't care, the drive there would just let him think about what he had to say. Would he get angry? Would he give in? Would Vanoss even want to see him? What if he had nothing to say to the older man? Delirious didn't know what to think, all he knew was that it was anything goes, and he knew anything and everything could happen. He tried to keep an open mind, but that was nearly impossible with all of the different feelings he had brewing deep in his belly.

When the cab finally pulled up in front of a small plain looking house, he felt like his heart was going to vault out of his chest at any given moment, and Jonathan knew that it was now or never. He _wanted_ to resolve this, whatever the hell it was. He needed things to go back to the way they were at least somewhat, and that was why he was here at Evan's house, drunk, upset, and slightly pissed off.


	25. It's Okay

It was late, and Evan just couldn't sleep. His bedroom was quiet in the late night, and his eyes hurt as he stared up at the plain ceiling. His phone was pressed to his ear, and he listened to that drunk voicemail from Jonathan for the umpteenth time that day. Even though the message was a day old, he still couldn't help the need to hear it over and over again. He could clearly hear the hurt, the anger in Jon's voice, and he blamed only himself for that. He blamed himself for all of Delirious' pain and discomfort. And he didn't think he'd ever be able to forgive himself for the choice he made that night they made love. It was all now coming crashing down on him like a ton of bricks, and he was feeling the waves of emotion washing over him.

Jonathan's voice came to an end on the phone once more, and a sigh escaped Evan's lips. He knew deep down what he had to do, he knew he had to fix this. He knew that he had to make things right between he and Delirious once and for all. He was _in love_ with Jonathan, and he knew that nothing would ever change that; no matter what he did, he would always have love for the older man, and he wanted to be with him.

Despite everything he had set in his mind about relationships and love, he was willing to push it all away for Jonathan's sake. Jon was different, deep down he knew he was, and he knew it would be different this time. He was willing to open up his mind and his heart, and he was ready to be happy. Vanoss was ready to both give and receive love. He just hoped that Jonathan would forgive him for everything that he had done.

Evan unlocked his phone, and stared at Jonathan's phone number. Would he even pick up if he called back? Would he even want to talk to the younger man? All these questions haunted Evan, and he didn't have answers. The only thing he knew was that he wasn't going to get answers unless he stopped being afraid and just dialed the number already. And he was about to, until a knock at the front door startled him. It was super late, so who in the hell would be at his house at this hour? Nobody had text or called and told him they were coming either, so the young man was a bit confused to say the least. He stood up, throwing the covers off him, and headed downstairs to answer the door.

Another knock surfaced, and Evan sighed in annoyance. Whoever was on the other side of the door was quite impatient. But finally, he reached the bottom of the steps, and made his way to the door. And when he opened it, it felt like all the breath had been knocked out of him when he came face to face with those ocean blue eyes that he absolutely adored. _He came all this way_ , and goddamn it had been so long. It was like Evan was seeing Jonathan for the first time all over again. All those butterflies came flooding into his stomach, all those familiar feelings of love and warmth surrounded him, and he knew all this time that Delirious was it, he was home.

Those dimples, those baby blues that shined in the darkness, and those plump lips that looked like they had been permanently etched into a frown stared Evan in the face, and he didn't know what to say. Until finally, he collected his mesh of a headspace and managed to ramble off a few things. "Jonathan, what are-" But Evan was cut off when Jonathan's fist came flying through the air and connected forcefully to his upper cheek, causing him to stumble backwards into his house. Damn, Delirious could hit hard when he wanted to.

Jonathan walked forward, glaring down at the smaller man who grabbed his face in pain. " _Fuck you Evan_!" He slurred, and it was clear that he was drunk. He had consumed one too many drinks that night, and now that he was closer to the asian man, Evan could clearly smell the liquor on his breath, see his bloodshot eyes and flushed cheeks. He wasn't in his right mind right now, and Evan knew that. Had Jon been drinking a lot though? That was the thought that crossed Vanoss' mind. Did he find solace in alcohol when he left him on that day a little over two weeks ago? What had become of the older man? Seeing him this way only made Evan's heart break a little more because he knew it was him. He was the cause of this whole mess, and maybe by this point it was unfixable.

Jonathan hadn't planned on punching his ex lover in the face, but when he saw him again, when he came face to face with him, he couldn't help it. He had so much pent up frustration and anger, he just let it out. And he wasn't going to lie to himself, it felt good. If he could make Evan feel only just a fraction of the pain that the younger man had caused him over these past two weeks, then his job was done. He so _desperately_ craved for Evan to know just how he was feeling, and by now, he hoped that he did.

But he also hadn't planned for all of the old feelings to resurface. His stomach fluttered with warmth, and hell, maybe it was the alcohol, but Jonathan didn't care. Seeing Evan again reminded him of why he fell for him in the first place. And now here he was, standing in Evan's living room for the first time, front door wide open, and he was glaring down at the smaller man as he held his face in pain.

"Jonathan?" Evan inquired, looking up at the older man, "I know you're pissed at me, but please, just chill out..." He trailed off, hoping he wouldn't try to punch him again. Hell, it hurt, and he wasn't expecting it either. He could already feel his face swelling up, and he knew it would look gross tomorrow if he didn't put some ice on it. "Can we talk about this when you're sober?" He begged, knowing that drunk Jonathan was a force to be reckoned with.

"Chill out?" Jonathan scoffed. "You expect me to just _chill out_?" He questioned, pacing back and forth slightly, trying not to stumble over and fall. His mind was racing, and he had all of these thoughts before of what just exactly he would say in this moment. But right now, right now this very second, he had no fucking clue of what to say to Evan. He wracked his mind for words that just weren't there. "You ignored me for two fuckin' weeks, so now you're gonna _sit the fuck down_ and listen to what I have to say, alright?" He questioned as he turned to look at the asian man who was looking at him with doe eyes. He inhaled a deep breath, and opened his mouth to speak, but instead of his voice, it was bile that came out.

And he puked all over himself, all over Evan's floor, and he didn't know if it was the alcohol, or Vanoss, or his never ending anxiety; hell, it could have been a combination of the three. But whatever it was, made him sick to his stomach, and immediately he felt embarrassed. This was a bad idea, and he should have never came here. He punched the person he cared about the most in the face, then puked all over his floor, what a great night. Now, he could barely stand as the dizziness infiltrated his mind and made his vision cloudy. Vanoss picked up on it instantly, and grabbed his arm to steady him. "Jonathan," His voice was soft, foreign, as if it wasn't his own. " _It's okay._ " And that was it. Jonathan was home.

Tears pricked the corners of his baby blues, and he was on the verge on losing it right here in front of Evan. He managed to swallow down a sob as a deep lump formed in the base of his throat. This was not how he wanted this to go, this was not supposed to happen like this. "I'm sorry," He said simply, unable to look Vanoss in the eye. He closed his eyes and exhaled, and he wished he could disappear in a moment like this. He felt like shit, and he just wanted to be back home in North Carolina where he belonged. He didn't want pity, he didn't want forgiveness, and he damn sure didn't want the look Evan was giving him right now.

And finally, _it_ broke. Everything he had shoved down inside of him came working back up, and escaped him through sobs and salty tears. He hadn't cried this hard in a long time, and it embarrassed him that he was doing it in front of Evan. This was not okay, and hell, Evan had no idea what to say. The man he loved was losing it right in front of him, and he didn't know what to do. He merely grabbed Jonathan's hand, pulled him away from the pile of vomit, and led him to the small bathroom up the stairs. "You need cleaned up." He said simply, savoring the feeling of the older man's hand against his again. It brought back so many blissful memories; so many good times they had with each other. Evan missed them, and they felt like an eternity ago since they had happened.

"Evan," Jonathan shook his head in protest.

"Let me." The asian man insisted as they entered the tiny bathroom together. The puke downstairs was forgotten as Jonathan leaned against the sink, watching Evan move about the small bathroom. He grabbed a small wash cloth and wetted it with warm water, before using it to clean the older man's face. They were so close together, the small bathroom not really being much help as Evan cupped his ex lover's face, using gentle strokes to wipe his face. His eye hurt like a bitch, but at that moment right there, staring into Jon's teary eyes, he felt nothing but serenity. Nothing but the feeling of comfort washing over him. "Close your eyes," He ordered, and Jonathan obliged, his beautiful eyes fluttering closed as his eyelashes brushed against his cheeks.

Evan used the cloth to gently swipe over his eyes, and goddamn they were incredibly close. He was practically inhaling Jonathan's air supply, and even though it reeked of liquor, he didn't care, it was still the sweetest thing he had ever tasted. And Jonathan looked so ravishing right there with his eyes closed, pretty plump lips slightly parted, Evan couldn't resist. He _wanted_ to kiss him, wanted to just really feel him all over again. But he decided against it, decided it was too soon, and he really didn't want to get punched in the face again, so he pulled away, and continued cleaning up Delirious.

"I'm sorry about your face." Jonathan managed to get out when he opened his eyes again, looking down at Evan.

Evan shrugged, "I deserved it." He said, glancing up at the taller man.

Jonathan sighed and shook his head, cupping Evan's face and lightly stroking his now bruised cheek with his thumb. "Nobody deserves to be hurt." That simple touch alone made goosebumps arise on Evan's flesh, and warmth flood through his veins. That was how he knew right there that he needed Jonathan; he needed him like he needed air to breathe, and he wasn't going to let him go this time.


	26. Good Morning Sleepy Head

Cartoonz sighed angrily as he dialed Jonathan's number for the umpteenth time that morning. The first day of the convention was already over, and he had yet to make an appearance, or let alone even come to the hotel that he and the other guys were staying at for the trip. The other guys were worried, hell, Luke was worried. Jonathan was all by himself in this big place, no idea where he was going, and he was heartbroken. All of those things were not a good combination, and he had yet to contact Luke or anybody else since their plane had touched down in Canada.

"Jonathan," Luke spoke into his phone, leaving yet another voicemail. "Where are you? Me and the guys are starting to worry, so please, just call one of us, okay? Just so we know you're okay." He hung up, and walked over to the other guys who were waiting for him in the hotel lobby.

"You get a hold of him?" Moo inquired.

Cartoonz shook his head, "I left him a message... But he won't answer."

"I'm sure he's alright." Lui insisted.

"We'll call him again later." Tyler shrugged and patted Cartoonz on the shoulder before they walked off, going to get some breakfast before the second day of the video game convention began. They had hoped that Jonathan would come with them, but they all knew it was a long shot. Hell, they were surprised that Luke had managed to get him on a plane at all considering how deathly afraid he was of traveling. Deep down, they were all worried about Delirious, especially because he hadn't been in his right mind ever since those things with Evan had happened. So hopefully, just hopefully, he was okay and he was somewhere safe. He was a grown man, he could take care of himself, couldn't he? Well, that's what they had hoped anyway.

Evan eyed the man sleeping on his couch curiously, and his lips pulled into a small smile. Jonathan looked too big for the tiny sofa, his long limbs outstretched and hanging over the ledges. It was still early, and Evan had been watching him sleep for some time now, wondering why he hadn't woken up yet. The older man was simply mesmerizing as he laid there, hair disheveled, and lips slightly parted as he took in shallow breaths. He hadn't hardly stirred, and when he did, it was to roll over or find a new comfortable position.

No doubt that it had been a rough night, not just for Delirious, but for Evan as well. His mind sorted through the events of the previous night, and they seemed dream like, as if they hadn't happened. But they did. Jonathan really did come knocking at his door, drunk and pissed up, and yes, he did punch Evan in the face. That's why he was holding ice on it at this very moment. It was swollen and splotchy and sore, and Jon had a good hit. And yes, Delirious had thrown up on the floor. It was all real, it all happened, and Evan still couldn't believe it. He couldn't believe the man that he was in love with was here right now, sleeping on his couch and probably suffering from a hangover.

Vanoss remembered that after he had finished helping Jonathan get cleaned up, he let him take a shower to try and sober him up a bit. They didn't talk, and if they did, it was merely a handful of words to ask a question, or to gain confirmation. Evan cleaned up the vomit after that, and he wasn't angry at Jonathan either. If anything, he felt guilty, because it was _his_ fault that Jonathan was like this/that. He remembered giving Jonathan some sweatpants and a t-shirt to sleep in so he'd be comfortable, and he remembered leading the older man to the small couch by his hand, and he was asleep moments later. It was late when he finally did go to sleep, and after Evan made sure he was alright, he vacated to his own bedroom to try and get some rest.

And now here they were, the next morning, and Evan's heart was drumming in his chest. He both wanted and didn't want Jonathan to wake up. He was nervous, his palms were sweaty as he sat there watching his ex lover sleep, and his thoughts were racing through his cloudy mind. Would Jon still be mad at him? Would he try to punch him again? Evan didn't know, and he wasn't sure either. All he knew was that he wanted to fix this, wanted to make everything right again, and he knew the only way he'd be able to do that is if he thoroughly talked to Delirious about _everything._

Jonathan's head was pounding, and his ears were ringing loudly. His eyes were squinted shut, and he didn't want to open them because he knew the sunlight would betray them, and only make his headache ten times worse. This, the aftermath, was the only bad thing about drinking. He didn't like feeling sick, he didn't like feeling like he had a million bees buzzing around in his head at the moment. And he still felt so tired... What time did he even fall asleep last night? A sigh escaped him, and goddamn his breath still smelled of liquor, but finally, he let his baby blue orbs flutter open, and immediately he froze.

He did not recognize the beige sofa beneath him, did not recognize the curtains hanging in front of the windows, and he damn sure did not recognize the off white walls he just so happened to be staring at. Where the hell was he? Where did he go? What did he do? All the confusion hit him at once, and his stomach did a backflip as he tried to hold in the sickness he felt rising up his esophagus. Delirious pulled himself up so he could sit up on the couch, and his body was stiff, his muscles were sore; another con to getting drunk off your ass. And finally, all his questions were answered with one single voice, "Good morning sleepy head." Evan stood up, walking over to stand in front of Jonathan.

"Evan?" Jon questioned, looking over to the smaller man. The first thing that caught his blue eyes was just how swollen Vanoss' face was. Underneath his eye was splotched with purple and blue, and it was swollen slightly. He remembered getting off the plane with Luke, he remembered being pissed off, and he remembered running away to the bar... But after that, it was all a blur of drunken movements and decisions. Delirious couldn't remember a thing. Had he come to Evan's house? "Did I do that to your face?" He asked, and Evan merely nodded. "Ah, fuck, I'm sorry..." He shook his head, trailing off. He didn't know what to think right now, he was so goddamn confused.

"Do you not remember what happened?" Vanoss asked, raising a thick eyebrow.

Jonathan shook his head, "I don't even remember coming here."

"Holy shit." He trailed off. He had no idea that Delirious had been that drunk.

Jonathan stood up, stretching his sore muscles, and he looked over at Vanoss sheepishly. This moment, the space, the oxygen they shared between them right now felt awkward, and he didn't know what to say, didn't know what to do. How many nights had he imagined what he was going to say in a moment like this, and now he was tongue tied, and couldn't wrack his mind for a word to save his life. He cleared his throat, and rubbed the back of his neck uncomfortably. "Um, can I use your bathroom?" He questioned _,_ glancing over at Evan with one eye.

The asian man nodded, "Upstairs." He pointed, and Jonathan was on his way.

Once the older man arrived safely in the bathroom, he shut the door behind him and let out a few deep breaths he didn't know he was holding. "Calm the fuck down Jonathan," He nearly hissed at himself. He knew he had to keep his cool in a situation like this. He knew he had to ignore all the feelings that were coming back to him from just looking at Evan and being in his house. He had to remind himself that Evan did hurt him, Evan made him feel lonely, Evan betrayed him. The butterflies and blushes would have to be put away for another time, at least until he managed to figure all this shit out with Evan. He had to know what he was doing first before anything. Delirious turned in the bathroom, turning on the sink and splashing some cold water on his face to help him wake up, and that's when his phone began ringing in the pocket of the pants that were not his. They were Evan's.

"Well, it's about fucking time you answered the goddamn phone." It was Luke's harsh voice on the other end of the phone. "The boys and I have been trying to call you _all_ night and _all_ morning." He rambled on. "Are you okay?" He questioned, sounding more annoyed than anything.

"I'm fine." Jonathan sighed and rubbed his face. Were those his clothes in the corner of the bathroom? How the fuck did they get there?

"Where are you?" Cartoonz asked, pulling the older man out of his thoughts.

Delirious sighed, "I'm, uh, I'm at Evan's place."

" _What the fuck?_ " Luke retorted. "Are you serious?"

"I must have showed up here drunk or something... I punched him in the face!" He nearly exclaimed.

"Do you want me to come get you?"

"I'll be alright." Jon answered. "I'll call you later, okay? I need to do something about this." He finished his phone call with Luke, and finished flushing his face with water, and then tried to recollect his thoughts and calm himself before he headed back downstairs to face his one true demon. The thing he loved and hated the most right now was down there waiting for him, and he didn't know if was ready to tackle whatever this was. Jonathan took the stairs painfully slow, until Vanoss came into view. He was sitting on the couch, head in his hands, and probably waiting for Jonathan. "What are my clothes doing in the bathroom?" He asked, honestly curious.

Evan couldn't help but to chuckle, "You threw up all over the floor last night, I cleaned you up." He shrugged.

"For fuck's sake, is there anything else I did last night that I should know about?" Jonathan inquired.

"You, uh, said some things..." Evan trailed off.

"Do you just want me to leave?" Jonathan questioned, breaking the silence, as he stood in front of Evan, and the younger man finally looked up at him.

"God, no." He sighed with a shake of his head.

His eyebrows shot up if only slightly on his forehead. "You don't?" Delirious asked, confused. He could immediately feel himself breaking; feel himself weakening at the core already. That was how he knew that he was still _head over heels_ in love with Evan. Even after everything he had put him through, all the pain, all the hurt, all the loneliness... He still yearned for the younger man. Still wanted to hold him, kiss him, touch him, and just be with him. It was both a blessing and a curse, really, because all these confusing thoughts in Jonathan's head would be the death of him one of these days, and he knew it would. He didn't know what to think. "I just... After everything..." He stuttered, unsure of what to say.

"We should talk, don't you think?"

"Yeah."


	27. Why Did You Leave?

The silence in the room was practically deafening as Delirious sat there on the couch, twiddling his thumbs, unable to look Vanoss in the eyes. His ears were ringing, and his face was hot, and goddamn his head still pounded from his hangover. He tilted his head slightly, finally glancing at the younger man who sat on the other side of the beige sofa; he watched as his mouth opened, then closed, then opened, and closed again as if he was searching for the exact, right words to say. But none came; Evan didn't know what he could say, he didn't know where to start, where to end, he simply just didn't know. And because of that, a sigh escaped him and he buried his face in his hands as he leaned over on the couch. This situation was so fucked.

Jonathan cleared his throat, " _Why did you leave_?"

"Fuck, Jon..." Evan shook his head, searching for words to tumble out of his mouth.

"Do you have any idea what _that_ did to me?" The older man inquired, pursing his lips as he finally gathered up the courage to finally full on look at Evan. His blue eyes were icy and cold instead of the normal oceans that seemed to be inside of them. He could feel his anger bubbling up once more as it boiled inside of him. He knew he wouldn't be able to contain it much longer. After all, it was him who was the hurt one, him who had been betrayed. "You _fucked me_ and then left!" He couldn't help but to raise his voice slightly as he stared at Evan who just sat there with his head in his hands. He was unmoving, he wouldn't say anything. Jonathan took a deep breath, trying to calm himself before his anxiety made things even worse. His voice was lower this time, "I told you I loved you, and you just left me..." The older man trailed off, shaking his head and looking away.

Evan looked up, "That's it." He said simply.

"What's it?"

"Nobody's ever said they loved me before... Or at least said it and meant it." He couldn't believe he was actually confessing these things to Delirious right now. Hell, he never thought he'd ever end up saying these things out loud. He had them pushed to the back of his mind, locked in a vault, never to be opened or reckoned with. That was the way it should of stayed, and yet here they were, bringing everything out into the open. "I've never met anybody like you Jonathan... Nobody's ever _treated_ me the way you treat me, you were different... You _still are_ different, and I was fucking scared out of my mind." The asian man continued to speak, his brown eyes boring into Jonathan's unmoving frame.

Jonathan scoffed, "And you didn't think I was scared too? I had feelings for you for two years, and when I finally worked up the goddamn courage to do something about them, it ends up like this..." He trailed off. "It's fucked up Evan... I cried for you, I was pissed at you, the rest of the guys were pissed at you. Hell, they probably still are." He shrugged, glad he was finally getting all off this stuff off his chest. Everything he had been holding in for the past two weeks, he was finally able to get it out into the open, and he felt better immediately. He felt better knowing that Evan knew just exactly how he felt now. Jonathan wasn't holding back, he was making sure to let Vanoss know what was running through that pretty little head of his.

Of course, he didn't want to say anything to hurt his feelings or ruin their potential friendship/relationship. But he still wanted the younger man to know just all the pain he had been feeling inside. And if he could make Evan feel just even the slightest fraction of the pain, of the sadness, of whatever the hell it was that he was feeling, then that would be good enough for him. Jonathan was tired of playing these wicked love games, tired of dancing around the subject of forever. He loved Vanoss, he had always loved him, he never stopped. Deep down, Jonathan knew that Evan was his and he too was Evan's. It was just a matter of getting everything fixed and sorted out, and maybe just maybe, forgiveness could be possible.

"I didn't know what to do." The younger man answered truthfully.

"So you ran away?" Delirious questioned, eyebrows knitted together.

"Looking back, I know it was dumb... But at the moment, it seemed like the smartest thing to do... Leaving without a word... And I thought I would be able to ignore you, I thought you would be better off without me because I knew I wouldn't be able to love you as much as you love me. Everyone leaves me, so I just assumed you would too, Jon." Evan managed to get out. "But I was wrong... I couldn't ignore you. I thought about you everyday we were apart, I thought about how much I was hurting you... What I was putting you through. And that's what I've been doing while I was away from you." He explained, "I've been trying to sort through all these feelings, and I swear, I was getting ready to call you as soon as you showed up on my doorstep last night..."

Jonathan sighed, unknowing what to say. It was a miracle though that Vanoss was sitting here next to him, spilling his guts out. "What were you going to say to me when you called?" He inquired, wanting him to keep spilling, keep emptying out his heart and feelings, he wanted to get everything out of him just so he knew everything that needed to be known.

"I would have told you everything that I just told you now... And I would have also said that _I loved you_." Evan answered simply. There, he said it. Those dreaded three words that Jonathan had probably wanted to hear all along. "And if you're still pissed at me, I get it... Alright, I would be too. But there, now you know everything, and I'm so sorry for everything. Okay, Jon?" He finished, finally done pouring his emotions out. His dark eyes watered as he sighed and turned his head to look at the older man who sat beside him. One could tell that he was deep in thought by the way his eyebrows were slightly furrowed, the way his bottom lip jutted out slightly as he processed his thoughts. "So, what do you say?" Evan finally asked after a few moments of unbearable silence.

Another sigh escaped Jonathan's pouty lips, "I need more time to think about all of this." He answered honestly.

But Vanoss didn't blame him. After all, that was a lot of information that he had to take in. The younger man didn't blame him if he needed time to process it. And he didn't want to pressure him into making any hasty decisions either. He wanted to give it clear and careful consideration, that way, if they did end up together, their relationship would start on a sturdy and honest foundation. Evan stood up and nodded, "Will you let me make all of this up to you?" He inquired, hoping that Delirious would let him prove himself. He hoped the older man would let him show that he was really ready for this. He was ready for love, ready for a long term commitment.

"Yeah sure." Jonathan nodded, "When?"

"Tonight?"

"Okay." The older man said before standing up from the couch. He and Evan bid their farewells before Jonathan called a cab to head to the hotel that Cartoonz was staying at. All of Evan's words lingered and played over and over again in his head, and yeah, he was going to forgive him. He wouldn't lie about something like that because no matter what happened, he would always love Evan, so of course he was going to try and establish a relationship. He just wanted to make Vanoss nervous, wanted him to be paranoid about things. All Jonathan was doing was giving the younger man a taste of his own medicine. But his thoughts still centered around the asian man. What would they do tonight? God, he could still smell him, still see his smile, still hear his voice in his brain. All of those things were just the stuff that he loved about him.

When Delirious' cab pulled into the parking lot of the hotel, he paid the driver and headed inside. While he was in the elevator, he checked his phone for any texts from Luke. When he found the text with the room number, he memorized it so he knew where to go. As he walked down the hallway of the hotel, a part of Jon wondered how the guys were going to react to this. Of course, they'd probably be happy since their friends were happy again, but Jonathan couldn't shake the feeling that they might be disappointed in him. He knew it shouldn't matter, but it did because those were his best friends. He knocked on the door, hoping Luke would answer soon, and as if to answer his prayers, the door slung open, revealing Cartoonz. "It's about time you showed up." He grinned, pulling his best friend inside the room.

"How'd everything go?" Lui inquired.

Delirious scoffed and glared at Luke, "You told them?"

"I had to!" Cartoonz defended, "They were askin' about you."

"Okay but seriously, is everything fixed now?" Wildcat asked. "I can't deal with this shit much longer."

"You need to kiss and make up." Brian commented.

"I think so." Delirious sighed. "Tonight it will be for sure, I hope."

"That's awesome!" Moo exclaimed, turning to look at Jonathan. "See, I told you everything would work out in the end." And Jonathan truly hoped that Brock was right, and he hoped that things would go well tonight. And all the other nights with Evan after that. Hopefully they could put all of _this_ behind them and just start over with each other. That seemed like the best idea at the moment.

"Did you really punch him?" Marcel questioned, interrupting the moment. Apparently Luke had filled them all in on his current predicament. He wasn't mad, no, he just found it funny that all of the guys were sitting around gossiping about he and Evan like a bunch of teenage girls. "Because that's what Luke said and I don't believe him." He continued to talk.

Jonathan laughed, "Yes, I really punched him."

"Pic or it didn't happen." Mini Ladd teased.

Delirious laughed and shook his head, "I didn't get a fucking picture of it."

It was quiet for a few moments, until Daithi decided to interrupt the silence between all the guys. "Well, it looks like you got a date to get ready for then, eh?" Nogla teased, causing Jonathan's cheeks to heat up slightly. Is that what was going on tonight? Was Evan going to take him out to reclaim their love for one another. If he was, Jonathan was nowhere near ready. He needed to get cleaned up, needed to get emotionally ready for being around Evan for a long period of time. He didn't know if the butterflies and growing anxiety could handle it. Nevertheless, he was going to get himself prepared, and after tonight, things were finally going to be okay, and hopefully they would for a while.

"It's not a date." Jonathan replied.

"Yes the fuck it is." Tyler argued right back.


	28. I'm Scared

Jonathan fumbled with his shirt nervously as he looked himself over in the bathroom mirror. It had been practically _forever_ since he'd gotten ready for a date. He straightened all the wrinkles out, made sure his hair wasn't sticking up, and yet he was still unsatisfied with his appearance. He had changed his clothes probably three times now, the other guys poking fun at him for being so anxious and what not. But Delirious couldn't help it. He couldn't help that his heartbeat wasn't normal, couldn't help that he had those butterflies lingering down inside of him. And he felt strange to say the least; a feeling he couldn't quite put his mind on or push away for the time being.

"You look fine." Marcel insisted for the umpteenth time as he stuck his head inside the bathroom door, glancing at Jonathan who was still staring at himself in the mirror.

A sigh escaped the older man's plump lips, "I just... I feel weird." He walked away from the mirror, exiting the bathroom and going to sit on one of the many beds inside the hotel room that the boys shared. Everyone else was busy playing video games, or investing time on their phones on twitter or something. "Do you guys think I should have given him a second chance?" Delirious inquired, interrupting the rest of the boys as he wiped his sweaty palms on his pants. He was so unsure about this, but he had that feeling in his gut that eventually, everything was going to be okay. That didn't help the nerves though, because they were eating away at him like crazy. He and Evan would be together, sober, and alone, for the first time in two weeks, and that mere thought scared the shit out of Jonathan.

"You love him, right?" Lui asked.

"Yeah." Jonathan answered.

"And he loves you?" Brock inquired.

This time, Jonathan shrugged, "He said he did... Shit, I don't know..." He knew Evan had to had some type of romantic inclinations towards him, or else this date wouldn't be happening. Evan wouldn't be trying to reconcile with him and make things better if he didn't like him, right? Hopefully that was a good sign, because Jonathan didn't know how much more rejection or hurt he could take. He had already been broken down once, and he didn't want to go through that all over again. He wanted Vanoss, and he wanted everything to be okay.

"You're worrying too much." Mini Ladd said, turning away from his game. "Everything will work out fine."

Jonathan pulled his phone out of his pocket, checking the time, and his heart nearly leaped out of his chest when he saw that it was time for him to go meet Evan. "I hope you're right..." He trailed off, before bidding them all farewell, and leaving the hotel room. _Inhale, exhale._ He tried to regulate his breaths as he walked to the elevator. He needed to be calm, needed to show Evan that he was serious about them and that he wanted to do this with every fiber in his being. It was warm when he walked outside to call a cab, and the drive to Evan's house seemed to take forever as he sat in the back seat trying to collect his never ending train of thought. He had to be strong, he had to make sure he couldn't break. His guard was to be up until he knew he could trust the asian man.

Thoughts from this morning lingered in his head, and he wondered if Evan was telling the truth. Did he really mean _every single thing_ he said? All those confessions, all those promises... The way he spoke so clearly and smoothly, making goosebumps arise on Delirious' skin. He couldn't help but to trust Evan in the moments like that. The moments where it was just them, their words, and the unforgettable truth. Jonathan couldn't help but to smile at those thoughts. Hell, at least Evan was trying, and that was enough for him at the moment. Maybe Craig was right; maybe everything would be okay. God knows everybody wanted it to work out between them, hell, they were practically inseparable.

He couldn't stop fidgeting. Some part of his body had to be moving, whether it was his hands, or his knee bouncing up and down; he had to be doing something to calm him down. And the closer he neared Evan's house, the more he fidgeted, until finally, the cab came to a stop right in front of the younger man's house. Jonathan felt as though his heart was going to vault out of his chest as he eyed the house that he had been at just a few hours ago. It was evening now, somewhere around four o'clock, and Delirious couldn't really decided if he was ready for all of this or not. But, nonetheless, he walked up to the front door, let out a big exhale, and then knocked softly, hoping he wouldn't make a fool of himself.

Evan jumped when he heard the knock at the door. He _knew_ it was Delirious, and that mere fact made him smile. If anything, this was it. This was his chance to show Jonathan just how much he meant to him. He couldn't fuck up, he had to keep his cool, and he knew he had to make Jonathan feel loved and wanted. Hell, Evan was glad that the older man was giving him a second chance, because he knew that he messed up big time by leaving. This was his chance to redeem himself and everything that happened; this was his chance to start over, and he was going to do just that.

Vanoss looked himself over in the mirror once more, deciding that he looked okay, then bounded down the stairs to answer the door. When he opened it, he was taken aback by a nervous looking Jonathan who was standing there and rubbing the back of his neck in an awkward manner. And he couldn't help but to just stare at the taller man, and revel in the beauty of just everything that was him. "Hey." Evan breathed out, his dark eyes finally meeting Delirious' blue ones. The tension between them was thick, and both of them knew that. They shouldn't be nervous though, for crying out loud, they were best friends, used to be lovers, now was not the time for nerves.

"Nogla picked out my shirt." Jonathan blurted out nervously, before chuckling softly and shaking his head.

Evan laughed at the older man's randomness, "Are you ready to go?" He inquired.

Jonathan nodded, and watched as Evan pulled some car keys out of his back pocket. He followed the asian man to his car, and climbed into the passenger seat. It was weird to him, not being the one driving while they were together. But he found some comfort in the fact that Evan was in control, and it was nice looking over in the driver's seat and seeing him there. It was domestic, and Jon felt safe to say the least. They drove for a few moments, silence in between them, Jonathan fumbling with the radio every few minutes, until he knew he had to get something off his mind. "Can I say something?" He broke the quiet in the car and looked over at Evan who nodded. " _I'm scared_." Jonathan admitted, his blue eyes softening. He didn't know how to explain it, but there was this fear inside him, so unexplainable, so raw and rare, but he was afraid. Afraid that he would lose Evan once more, and he couldn't handle it. Even though they were together right now, right at this very moment, he was terrified.

"I know." Evan murmured, "And that's my fault."

"I don't want this to be weird..." Delirious trailed off, looking away.

Suddenly, the car came to a stop as Evan pulled it to the side of the road. He turned the key in the ignition, shutting it off, and moved in his seat so that he was facing Jonathan. A look of confusion crossed Jon's face as he stared on at Evan, wondering why he had just pulled over on the side of the road. "Give me your hands." Evan ordered as he held his palms out towards Jonathan. The older man obliged, putting his calloused hands in Evan's. The warm flesh caused a spark to elicit in him, and he had to remember that this was Evan. He could feel the younger man tracing patterns on the back of his hands, so he closed his eyes and tried to relish the feeling of skin on skin contact that he had missed so dearly. "You feel that?" Evan inquired, his voice soft.

"Yeah." Jonathan answered.

And in a moment, his hands were being guided until they rested on the sides of Evan's face. He opened his blue eyes just to see what Evan was doing, and he could feel his face heating up as he watched the younger man guide his hands down his neck, over his collar bones, and finally to his chest were he could feel his strong heartbeat drumming underneath the skin. God, just being able to touch him again nearly made Delirious melt with anticipation. "That's me, Jonathan." Evan managed to get out. "And _I'm here_ right now, and I promise you, I will never _leave you_ again." He rambled. "I want us to be able to do this, okay? So I understand if you're scared... But we can start over, we can do this. And I just want tonight to be the best night ever." He finished, giving the older man's hands a firm squeeze before dropping them.

Jonathan was speechless; but he knew right then and there that this is why he loved Evan. The man was so compassionate, so understanding, so sweet and good to him. And he could tell he was speaking nothing but the truth. He could tell because of the way the younger man looked at him; like he was the last person in the world, as if he was the only person he had eyes for. Was this what love felt like? Was it supposed to be this way? Evoking emotions in you that you had no idea that you owned? Hell, Jon wouldn't know. The only thing he did know, was that right now at this very moment, he was happy, he was home, and he knew he wanted Evan in his life like no other.

A nod came from him and all he said was, "Okay."

The car started once more, and Evan began driving again. Jonathan felt significantly better, and he had a good feeling about this. He found himself stealing glances at the younger man in the driver's seat, and he just couldn't comprehend how good and happy he felt at the moment. "So, how do you like Canada so far?" Evan questioned, breaking the silence between them for the umpteenth time. At least things felt slightly normal between them once again. But hell, what was normal for them? Nobody really even knew.

"It's okay." Jonathan replied. "Nothing compares to North Carolina though."

Evan agreed, "Yeah, I like it down there too." He answered. "It's nice, quiet..." He trailed off.

"Where are we going?" Jonathan asked, as he turned to look out the window. His blue eyes studied the busy and crowded city streets, and he couldn't help but to feel a bit homesick. If things worked out between he and Evan, would a long distance relationship suffice? How would they manage to make things work? Those were the things that he often thought about. He had to push them to the back of his mind just so he could focus on what was happening right now. Evan often made him do that; daydream, that is. About them, about the future, about anything really.

"Dinner." Vanoss answered simply. "And I've got a few other things planned after that."


	29. Come Stay With Me

Evan's food sat untouched on the table. He couldn't really focus on eating, not when he had Jonathan sitting across from him in the tiny booth in the restaurant. It was secluded, they had their privacy, and he just couldn't take his eyes off the older man. Few words had been exchanged between them, but that was because they still felt awkward about the whole ordeal. Even though they had tried to push it past them, it was still going to linger there, and always would. Evan tried not to think about it though, he tried not to think about what he did as he eyed Jon shyly. He was still as beautiful as he was when he left him; pictures and video wouldn't do him justice, because Jonathan was immaculate compared to others.

His cheeks were slightly flushed, Vanoss noticed. But that was probably because of the nerves and their current predicament. His hands shook slightly as he forked the food from the plate to his mouth, and when Delirious finally looked up at the younger man, his blue eyes sparkled and crinkled up when he grinned back at his date. God, Evan had missed those swimming pools of endless blue. A chuckle escaped Jonathan's pink lips as he put his fork down with a clink, "Why the hell are you starin' at me?" He questioned through small laughter, studying Evan in the small restaurant. The asian man looked distraught, if that was the right word for it, and he just couldn't take his eyes off his date.

Evan shrugged, "I just... I missed being able to _look_ at you." Jonathan's blush darkened, and he couldn't believe that Evan still had this kind of effect on him. After everything, he could still make him blush, still give him butterflies. Hell, the younger man just made him feel so juvenile and adolescent when it came to things like this. He didn't know how much more he'd be able to handle without becoming completely flustered. "Sorry..." Evan shook his head, "That's probably too much for the first date, eh?" A smile graced his lips as he finally picked up his fork to begin eating his food that was ordered a while ago.

Delirious shook with small bouts of laughter, "Considering our situation, I think it's okay."

"I um, I hate to bring it up again... But what did you do while I was gone?" Evan inquired, honestly curious.

A sigh escaped Jonathan's mouth as he remembered those painful few weeks. His mind was already trying to push them away, work them into the back of his headspace so he wouldn't have to see them ever again. He closed his eyes, and shook his head. "I tried to distract myself." He replied, truthfully, then chuckled. "It didn't work too well though." He continued as he opened his eyes to look at Vanoss once more.

"I'm sorry." Evan apologized sadly.

"I know." Jon nodded, "You don't have to keep saying sorry, I get it."

"I should have never left and I hate myself for it..." Vanoss trailed off, "What I did to you..."

"Evan," Jonathan cut him off and grabbed his hand from across the table. Goddamn, it had been forever since they had held hands, and just that simple touch of skin made the older man's heart leap. He savored the feeling of Evan's flesh as he squeezed his hand, showing both empathy and comfort. His thumb traced circles on the tanned skin, and Evan sighed in content. " _I forgive you_." Delirious murmured, his voice softer than usual. "Everybody fucks up every once in a while... Just quit beating yourself up over it, and let's have a good time tonight, okay?" He inquired, causing Evan to nod.

"You are such an amazing person, Jon."

"So are you." He replied. Their dinner continued, them eating and conversing, and bursting into laughter, disturbing the other patrons in the restaurant. But they didn't care; they were together, and they were happy again. It felt as though nothing had changed between them except the fact that they were on a date instead of just hanging out as friends. When they finished dessert and paid the bill to leave, they exited the place, holding hands and walking extremely close to one another. This was how it was supposed to be all this time, and Delirious really enjoyed it. He enjoyed having Evan like this, just knowing that he was right here and he would always be here for him. It seemed too much like a dream, but no, he knew it was real. It was real, and he felt like the luckiest guy in the world right now.

It was nearing nighttime now; a few stars making their appearance known in the little darkness that was there. Evan opened the car door for Jon before going over to the driver's side. The date wasn't over yet, Evan had something that he knew Jonathan would absolutely adore. Before starting the car, he looked over at the older man, before giving a cheeky smile. "I've got a surprise for you," He started, before holding up a small blindfold. "Can I put this on you?" He asked, gaining permission before he tied the small piece of fabric around Delirious' face, hiding those beautiful blue eyes from exposure. "You're going to love it, Jon." Evan trailed off before starting the car and driving out of the parking lot.

Soft music played on the background in the radio, and Jonathan couldn't help but to let the curiosity eat away at him. Where was Evan taking him? All he knew was that despite everything that had happened, despite everything they had been through in this short amount of time, he _trusted_ Evan. He trusted this man with his life, even after everything that had went down between them. And he loved him too; but he wouldn't say it again, not until Evan said it first at least. His heart pumped quickly, his breaths short and heavy, and he could feel Evan reaching for his hand to hold it as he drove. In the moments like these, he was content with himself, content with life, content because he had Vanoss by his side. And despite everything, he wouldn't change it for the world. In a way, they had both learned from this experience; learned about themselves, and learned about each other. Good things came from it, some pain too, but the majority was good things.

"We're here?" The older man questioned. Jonathan felt the car come to a stop after they drove for about an hour, he guessed. It was beyond dark out now, nothing but the moon and the stars illuminating the black sky. He could feel Evan unbuckling his seatbelt and leading him out of the car. Their hands mingled as he felt the asian man leading him to where they were supposed to be.

"No peeking, okay?" Evan warned.

"I won't." Jonathan replied as they continued to take small steps. He could hear dirt and gravel crunching underneath his feet, and finally, Evan stopped him from walking, and slowly removed the blindfold carefully to reveal his surprise. Jonathan had no idea where they were, but it was somewhere high up, the view of the city beneath them, and the view of the sky above them. There was a blanket spread out on the grass, pillows adorning it, and it was clear that he and Evan were going to have a night under the stars. His heartbeat faltered in his ribcage as his blue eyes darted around, not really knowing where to look, until finally they settled on Vanoss' face, who was merely staring at Jonathan in awe. "Evan..." The older man managed to get out. "You did all this?"

"Yeah." His voice faltered, and he glanced away, the intensity of the moment too much to handle. "I know how much you like this kind of stuff... So, I um..."

"Wow." It came out in a whisper, and Delirious found himself looking up at the darkened sky, before being led by Evan once more, but this time over to the blanket laid out in the grass. Moments like these, Jonathan cherished. It was just him, Evan, the moon, the stars, and the sky... And nothing could be better than it was right now; them lying on their backs, hands behind their heads, dangerously close to each other and falling deeper and deeper in love with each second that passed. It was surely close to perfect, and Delirious was glad that he had forgiven Evan. This, him, it was all worth it... It was worth those two weeks of pain he endured to be enjoying this time with his lover. He couldn't believe that Evan had planned all this for him just to make everything up.

"Jonathan." Evan's voice came out in a whisper.

"Hm?" The older man answered without looking at Vanoss.

"I've been dying to _kiss_ you all night." A murmur hung through the night air, and Evan could feel his face heating up from the sudden confession. It was true though; he hadn't been able to take his dark eyes off those lips of Delirious'. They taunted him, and he needed to feel them again before he went insane. Jonathan said nothing, but he turned so that his blue orbs finally bored into Evan's. He wouldn't say it out loud, but he had been dying to kiss Evan since he arrived drunk in his house the night before. As they laid beside each other, Jonathan inched closer and closer, until finally, their lips brushed against each other, as if they were constructing the most elegant painting, and there were _sparks_. Goosebumps arose on Jonathan's flesh and being able to feel Evan's lips again. He had almost forgotten just how good they tasted.

And this time, they were sober. It wasn't a messy, drunk, alcohol tasting kiss. It was acute, proper, and passionate. Neither of them being able to hold back the accumulated feelings they had held in all this time. Eventually, their hands made their way to their faces, thumbs stroking the soft skin. Finally, Evan had to break away for air. He hadn't wanted to separate, but he desperately needed oxygen. He sucked in air forcefully, before smashing his lips back to Jonathan's. It was unreal, the feeling too much, and yet it was all they ever needed. Tongues meeting, dancing, fighting for dominance, tracing patterns on each other. God, he had fucking missed Delirious way too much, and kissing him right now made him question why he ever left in the first place. He wanted Jonathan, he needed Jonathan, and he didn't ever want them to be apart ever again.

"I've missed you." Jonathan whispered against his lips, practically reading his mind.

"Jonathan..." His name came out in an exhale of air, the sweet scent of Evan's breath fanning against his face.

"Yeah?"

" _I love you_." Evan stated simply. "I fucking love you and I was a complete dumbass for leaving."

Jonathan chuckled, "I know." They stayed underneath the stars until the wee hours of the morning, just holding each other, getting reacquainted with one another again. Two weeks had felt like an eternity while they were away from each other, and this was exactly what they needed. Just the fact that they got to revel in each other again, just be surrounded by what was them and only them was a comforting feeling in itself. Finally though after a few hours, Delirious began to yawn from exhaustion. He hadn't exactly gotten much sleep the night before, so he was pretty tired. But he didn't want to leave; he never wanted to leave Evan's side ever again. "I'm sleepy..." He trailed off through a yawn.

"Come stay with me." Evan mumbled against his skin.

"Okay."


	30. If You Want To

**Author's Note: Wow, what a journey this fanfiction has been. Sadly though, this is the last chapter, so I'll see you guys down at the bottom. Thanks for reading, and be sure to leave a review!**

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It was late when Evan and Jonathan had finally arrived back to Evan's place. Jonathan kept yawning every other minute or so, and Evan knew he was exhausted. It was safe to say though, that this date had been a success. The younger man had won Jon over, if you will, because he had gained his forgiveness, and they were together once and for all. "Are you sure it's alright if I stay?" Jonathan had asked for the umpteenth time that night as Evan pulled into the driveway of his home, and turned the ignition in the car so that it was off. "The hotel is like ten minutes away, it's not a problem." He rambled on, rubbing the back of his neck and trying to stifle another yawn from escaping his lips.

How fast was too fast? They knew they loved each other, but for christ's sake, they had just gone on their _first_ date. Despite everything they'd already been through and done, it still felt strange to say the least. Jonathan didn't want to overstep his boundaries, the ones that they had already set. But it was nearing impossible when Evan made him feel the things he did. They felt like they had been lovers for some time, or at least something remotely close to that.

"Jonathan," Evan stopped him from speaking anymore. "I _want_ you to stay, alright?" He looked over at the older man who just grinned. They got out of the car, and Delirious sleepily followed Evan up to the front door. He watched with careful eyes as he unlocked it, and goddamn did this setting feel awfully familiar to him. It reminded him of the night he and Evan made love, and he couldn't shake the deja vu that he was feeling in his heart right now. He followed Vanoss into the house and shut the door behind him, standing there while Evan flipped on the lights. "C'mon," He mumbled sleepily, grabbing his hand and leading him upstairs. "I've probably got something you can sleep in." He continued as they walked up the stairs together.

"Okay."

Delirious then wordlessly followed Evan to the bedroom, feeling the butterflies and other nervous feelings floating around in his gut. He watched, his blue eyes following the asian man around the room as he went about his nightly routine. Finally, they had managed to get changed into some comfy clothes, Evan not really being able to keep his eyes off the older man, and once they were in their jammies, they had managed to crawl into bed. And suddenly, Jonathan was wide awake and aware of everything. He was aware that he was in Evan's house, in Evan's bed, with Evan laying shirtless right beside him, arms wrapped around him and all. It was all too surreal, and he had never imagined that it would all happen like this.

And Vanoss was feeling the exact same way. He had almost forgotten how good it was to just hold Jonathan in his arms like _this._ Skin so warm and soft, and just inhale what was him and only him. He never thought this moment would ever come. He could tell Jonathan wasn't asleep yet either; he could tell because his breaths were uneven, and he was fidgeting. "You alright?" He whispered into the night, lips against Delirious' neck. They were so close to each other, it was almost unbearable, and neither of them could keep their hands to themselves as they roamed around in the darkness of the room.

Jonathan rolled over so that he was facing Evan, "Can I ask you something?" His blue eyes searched for some sort of certainty in his lover.

"Yeah, go ahead." Evan answered, eyes looking right at Jon.

But the words wouldn't come; Jonathan was flustered at best. He knew what he wanted to say, he just didn't know _how_ to say it. "Um," He struggled, stuttering at first as his large hands found Evan's, and held onto them for reassurance. His blue eyes faltered, and he couldn't keep his gaze on the younger man. "This means you're my _boyfriend,_ right?" His voice sounded so foreign to even himself, and he didn't know why he felt so uncomfortable all of a sudden. The word, the term, boyfriend... It just sounded so juvenile, so unofficial, because Jonathan felt closer to Evan than that. He felt that boyfriend, just didn't cut it; it wasn't good enough for them. Especially after everything they had been through together.

Evan smiled, finding Jon's nervousness a little cute. " _Of course._ "

"So that means I can kiss you right now?" Delirious asked, a slight grin pulling on his plump lips. All the anxiety he felt earlier was gone in a quick moment, and was replaced with reassurance. Evan loved him, Evan wanted to be with him, and nothing was going to change that. Nothing was going to change how they felt about each other, it was set in stone. The asian man didn't answer, he just pulled Jonathan closer and let their lips touch in a simple kiss. He concluded that he'd never get tired of kissing the older man; it was a new feeling each time their lips met, and he couldn't get enough. Evan felt his lover's hands trailing down his bare chest, until they were at his hips, and then they stopped, causing goosebumps to rise on the already heated flesh. Delirious pulled away from Vanoss, their lips inches apart. Their breaths mingled together as they shared oxygen supply. "Can we...?" It came out in a whisper, and Jonathan's blue eyes were already so clouded with lust. He _wanted_ Evan.

"If you want to." Another whisper.

Delirious nodded, "I do. I want you Evan." His voice alone was enough to drive Vanoss crazy already. He didn't know why Jonathan had that kind of force/power over him, but he loved it, so he tried not to question it so much. And this time, they were sober, they were nervous, they were unsure yet totally giddy about everything. It was euphoria and bliss all rolled up into one. And the tiny quiet bedroom smelled of sex, and soaked in all the hushed whimpers and gasps caused by the two men as they worked wonders on each other's bodies.

 _"Do you want me to...?"_

 _"Does that feel okay?"_

 _"Fuck... Yeah."_

 _"Mmph, right there."_

 _"Oh god."_

It was late when they finished, but it was worth every second. A sheer layer of sweat rested on their bodies and they struggled to catch their labored breaths. Jonathan's head rested on Evan's chest, listening to his heartbeat, and feeling the rise and fall of his ribcage as his lungs filled and emptied oxygen. "I really am sorry about your eye..." Jonathan's voice was hoarse, and hearing his voice crack made Evan smile. "The guys couldn't believe I punched you." He laughed as he traced aimless circles on his boyfriend's chest.

"It'll heal." Vanoss replied nonchalantly. "Besides, it was worth it."

"You think?" Jonathan grinned.

Evan nodded, "Yeah. Now try to get some sleep, okay?"

Jonathan took his advice, and closed his baby blues. He listened to Evan's heartbeat, and somehow it lulled him to sleep, working as a metronome of some sort. And it felt good to be laying there in his bed, with his arms around him, and just reveling in the fact that he would be there when he woke up in the morning. He was glad it had all worked out in the end, just like the guys had said. Hell, and if it hadn't worked on, Jonathan was sure that he'd never find anyone as good as Evan. That man was everything he wanted and more, and there were no words to describe how they felt for each other. And Evan felt the same way; he was lucky that the older man had even forgiven him and taken him back. If he hadn't, he knew he'd probably never been able to forgive himself for how much pain he had actually caused. He vowed to himself to treat Jonathan the best he could, because he wasn't going to lose the man again.

It was a few days later, when Jonathan had asked Evan to come back to North Carolina with him. The convention was long over, and Delirious, and the rest of the boys had to head back. There was no nervousness to it, no hesitation, he just straight came out with it. "Come back with me." He had insisted, because after everything, they were definitely not going to do a long distance relationship. They knew after everything they had been through, long distance just wouldn't suffice, so Evan agreed to moving in with Jon in a heartbeat. He wasn't missing out on an opportunity like this. So, Jonathan and the other guys helped Vanoss pack up his house, and arrange everything to move.

"Are you still afraid of flying?" Evan had asked the day they purchased their one way tickets.

Delirious shook his head, "Not with you around."

It took them a while to get used to living together if they were being honest. Both of them had been so used to being alone, living alone with no one else in the household. It was strange, not having to talk through a phone or computer screen, not having to wonder what the other was doing at a certain time... They were both right there, together, and Jonathan loved every moment of it. It was so domesticated, so intimate, and right and rare. The fact that Vanoss was right there whenever he needed him, the fact that they got to eat breakfast together, play video games together, go to bed together, and wake up together... It was everything he could ever imagine and more. He loved having the younger man there so they could take care of each other.

They woke up every morning in each other's arms, with smiles on their faces. It wasn't a bad way to wake up, in the arms of your lover. And they often stayed in bed for hours even after they woke up, just reveling in what was each other. Their bed was their sacred place, and that was where they shared the most. "Are you cooking breakfast?" Evan would ask with a small forehead kiss, and that was their signal to start the day with one another. He would follow Delirious to the kitchen and sit at the counter while the older man worked his cooking magic. It was something of their morning routine.

For their six month anniversary, the rest of the guys flew down again for another visit, and it was better this time. There was no drama, no worry about unreconciled feelings, they were all just together, and having fun. And that was they way it stayed from there on out. Everything was too perfect, and in the end, Jonathan was glad how everything worked out. He was happier with Evan in his life, for good this time.

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 **Author's Note: Howdy everyone! Did I do good? Sorry for any mistakes btw. I loved writing this fanfic so much, like you have no idea. Don't worry though, more H2OVanoss is on the way. I am busy though with work and school, so please keep that in mind. Anyway, feel free to follow me on tumblr, my url is heidipoo-xox, and if you have any requests/questions/concerns please PM me and I will get back to you as soon as I can. I think my next fanfic will be a lil angsty, so yay to that. Until next time, stay fabulous!**


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